All posts by Dude wheres my job

The latest and greatest from me

Where do I begin with this.

I resuscitated the job search late this April.

I signed up for Indeed. At first, there were many posts…I got a lot of interviews but no offers and then the posts dried up at the end of June and has been dry since then.

As for me, I got a swift shock when I sat down and toted up my monthly — and then yearly expenses for my cost of living.

I am still here at this crummy crummy apartment — the rent is almost $1400 — there is a 5.5% increase yearly, as mandated by, I think, the county — and I am still tied to that bin, that is holding all of the furniture and my belongings for the past 3 years.

In essence, my monthly rent is over $1800, counting the bin and the rent for this apartment.

I do not go out, I do not go on vacations and I don’t buy clothes, unless it is a necessity.

The rest of my expenses are food, car insurance, the 3-way-phone/internet/cable bill, gas and electric.

I am being swamped and back in August, when I saw how much per year I am spending, just to live… I nearly shit my pants.

If I got a $38,000 per year job?

I won’t be able to cut it financially.

After taxes, that job will net me about 26 grand…I need about 50 grand to stay in the black and there is no job that I will be able to get that will pay me 50K per year.

The part time jobs don’t even seem to be available anymore. To make up the deficit…I’d have to work a solid chunk of hours per week and that chunk of hours has to be guaranteed indefinitely. And we all know part timers are always the first to go when a company wants to tighten its belt.

You no longer work to earn a living — in NJ you are working to feed an economic monster. You have little money for your own disposal

The money just is not here anymore. The jobs are not here anymore — I think New Jersey is done for, cost of living wise. The cost of living goes up each year and salaries are not keeping up with the cost of living. Nobody gets a raise anymore. I never got a raise at my last 3 jobs.:( Nothing — open up my check on the last pay period of the year and I have the same damn amount looking me in the face.:(

I am nearly 61. Like it or not, I haven’t got many years left in the workforce.

We have lost nearly 64,000 jobs in this area between 1993 and December of 2014 — those 64,000  jobs  were concentrated in a radius that comprised 3 towns. This is the hub that was Passaic-Clifton-Nutley.

Roche closed for good in December of 2014. Genentech, the company that owns them, decided they did not want a NJ campus. They were phased out over 3 years’ time.

2 hospitals closed; went out of business — I can’t see how — business was booming there and always was —  and the third one that’s left isn’t so great.

One of the hospitals that closed had a residency program and was a leader in heart surgery.

Roche closed, Givudan is gone, both ADPs were absorbed by Roseland and Shulton is gone — gone after Cyanamid was bought out by some other company. ITT was a goner when the  Iron Curtain fell in 1991; ITT no longer exists because of that.

64,000 jobs and nothing at all to replace them.:(

In their place: retail, housing and a mixed-use commercial building where Givudan stood.

Nothing is where one of the former hospitals was…and the former St. Mary’s is vacant. No buyer for the property.

Mary’s took over the Passaic General building; Passaic Gen went out of business.

Why do we need a medical school and start-up companies? that is what is there now on the former Roche campus.:( That’s not going to bring us 31,000 jobs for all skill sets and every education level.

I guess my only choice is to relocate to a cheaper state. If I stay here, I will be slaughtered financially. I can’t and won’t blame myself: I am what I am and what I did for a living I did for a living. it is what it is and I have to find somewhere else to live.:( Not this state — I am finished here.:(

Who thinks this is going to happen to them — and who thinks this state is going to more or less be only for the high earners???:(

You know how property taxes are here — effing sky high — and landlords are greedy. The least expensive 3 bedroom is perhaps about what I am paying, maybe $800 less per month than what I pay, if you are lucky. And most of these people are multiple property owners, like the one who owns my building. I never even got a stove when I moved in here! he never told me “Stove is yours to take care of.”

When I first saw these rooms, there was a stove here. he was  busy pulling up the old carpet…I came here 2 weeks ahead of my move-in date to paint and no stove. I figured he’d have it here by April 1, which was my official first day here; 4-1 comes and no stove. I call him asking “”Where’s the stove” and that is when he tells me I have to provide it MYSELF.

I have one of those old stovetop ranges….this is a 1960 apartment that was never updated…but no stove. Buy it myuself? NO…because I’d be stuck with it. I have a countertop oven…and I think it is packing it in.:(

Not what we agreed upona nd nowhere in the lease does it say “provide your own stove.” Guy downstairs…same thing….and that other apartment downstairs where the screaming tenant was…that stove got thrown out. New tenant is there and I am 100% sure the landlord provided a stove for him.:( I would LOVE to find out somehow.


The revolution certainly will not be televised. “The Coming Collapse”: Food for thought.:(

The Coming Collapse

The voters were hoodwinked.

There was never going to be a reboot of the coal mines and as for the Rust Belt and the auto industry: That goes with a nice offer of a bridge for sale. There were never going to be any school vouchers.

Buyer’s remorse is going to hit quite hard.

Face it: all of you were lied to and you bought it all, hook, line and sinker.

Can somebody here assure me that hospitality and etiquette at a job interview is not dead???

Somebody, anybody, tell me that hospitality and etiquette is not dead at a job interview.

Nobody seems to offer you a drink or if they can get you anything — not anymore — I mentioned this to a job coach (I have one now and that is a story in itself) and she  laughed.

Laughed like this was a joke.

I reminded her that we were told to always make a client or an interviewee at home– “Oh that was a long time ago. This is why you are having a problem finding a job…. this was a long time ago…a glass of water, really?” And she kept laughing.:(

10 years ago at my last “corporate” job is not a long time ago.

And niceties and hospitality never go out of style.

As for the job search itself:

Oh, the jobs are there, on indeed. Dozens of them. That’s not the problem now, scarcity of jobs — the day of the hard copy “help wanted” news paper ad is done.

And done because it’s easier and quicker to post an ad as long as you wish it to be, on indeed. There is no per-word price like there is with a hard copy ad. Last I heard a newspaper help wanted ad was a couple hundred bucks for a smallish ad.

Though every once in awhile, a giant in an industry will publish a newspaper help wanted ad.

I restarted my job search about a month ago. “For the real” — I still have been looking in the meanwhile. Not much success.

I have sent close to 80 resumes in the past 3 weeks — I got several “the employer has seen your resume” and got perhaps 4 phone interviews. Only one phone interview has resulted in a face to face interview.

I have attended one interview this past Friday and it was at a small mom and pop electrical company — this is the bunch that didn’t offer me a drink or anything else — that wasn’t for me and they ended the interview after 4 minutes, anyway. This is much ado about nothing — they want to speak to other candidates for the next 3 weeks and then call back the candidates for a second interview.

The mother of the bunch sat in on that interview with me and the other person. The mother did not introduce herself. I had to ask her name.:(

So is etiquette dead? When did the rule change?:(

The case of the runaway radiator….

Last weekend, my bedroom radiator went out of control. It made a lot of noise and then got red hot.

It was so hot it was untouchable — and it ran and ran all day, The temperature kept going up.

I had a puddle of water on the floor from where the condensation happened after I bled it — and then on Sunday about 2 pm, the radiator shut down.

I gave Landlord a call yesterday and told him that now I had no heat and that the radiator was out of control all weekend…

Here is why:

Last Friday night at 9:20, Next Door Neighbor took a rock and willfully broke the window on the ground floor where the guy in the front apartment lives; this is the apartment under mine — and the deli across the street caught her on video tape doing so. There are security cameras there.

All the cold air got into that apartment and that’s why the boiler worked overtime and this is why my radiator was smoking red hot all weekend. We have no individual boilers.

Not to mention what would have happened if that rock hurt my neighbor.

I think he was away when all of this happened. I think he still is away. Wonder if he was told she broke his window?

I saw the cops come and get her on Sunday and that’s a whole story in itself. (They didn’t even tell her what charge it was; they more or less said “you’re arrested and come with us.”This is not how you officially arrest a perp! And that’s why this is so horrific and so wrong! ) I am still angry at that. This isn’t what you do, break a window willfully…but anyway — they came and got her and looks like she will not be returning.

She will have to wait for a judge — that could take who knows how long — and a public defender will have to prepare her case. Then the judge will have to decide how much bail she will have to pay — likely she can’t pay the 10% to a bailbondsman so she will sit in that county jail until her hearing.

She is likely to get 6 months in jail for being a disorderly person, if the damage is under $500 .

Or possibly more if there is more monetary damage; a judge has to evaluate what kind of damage this is and how it was caused. That’s also possibly 3rd degree criminal mischief and 3 to 5 years in jail.

And being that Landlord replaced the entire window — not just the pane of glass — you can bet that is easily $600 to replace one window. He didn’t care about the 600 bills — he’s got homeowners/property insurance, so he will see that money returned to him.

So now there is possibly 3 to 5 years in jail, too.:( proves again that she never had any business living on her own — she needed to be in a group setting.

Also likely she will have a psych exam whilst in that county jail and awaiting the judge — and be sent to some psych jail somewhere in the county or state, while she waits for the hearing. You know there are always delays and postponements and there are also immates that are ahead of you, waiting for their turn at a hearing or sentencing.

She won’t be coming back.

Her apartment will be given over to somebody else; no county entity will pay for an apartment somebody is not in whilst they are in a jail.  She has been gone since Sunday afternoon. (and for all intents and purposes, he should go in there and remove the garbage, at the very least. This is a week she is gone and no doubt she’s got a ton of trash — I once saw her emerge with 3 huge bags of trash)

I never bought it that she was harmless.  Anybody who willfully breaks a window has a problem.

Landlord is having a cash flow problem…or so it seems to be.

Probably slow on the draw thanks to the mind being boggled by recent current events…but hey…I finally got it. Ain’t I smart.:(

I have a toilet tank that needs adjusting (the water needs more oomph so that it flushes all the way; the same problem happened in April and it was fixed in 2 minutes).

There is a leak near the kitchen window. He sent a guy to investigate, then told me somebody would be there in about an hour….and nothin’ happened. That was December.

My kitchen window creaks and buckles in a strong wind. I told him that in January 8th…he said okay…and nobody came to fix it.

And the kitchen radiator does not work. I told him about 5 times that there is no heat in the kitchen….no repair.

3 days ago, a little notecard envelope arrived in the mail. Didn’t recognize the handwriting. Didn’t have my glasses but it looked like Landlord’s wife was on the return addy.

Uh…it was.

In long hand on the inside is notice of my rent increase. “$1318”??? what an odd odd number. And effective next month. Dude — I have not been here a year; it is a year April 1st.

I wonder if this guy is behind on back taxes — I wonder.:( And if he’s not behind on back taxes, why the odd amount for rent? Wouldn’t you think he’d make it an even number??

The garage roof is leaking. In that garage is nothing but odds and ends — old table, furniture, boxes, etc. Funny how he feels the need to rent out that garage — it’s like he’s trying to make ends meet in a hurry.

As it is he has tenants do the repairs…haha, this is like Litchfield; he hires his tenants to do the repairs that a pro should do. He probably has no money to pay anyone…or maybe he simply doesn’t want to pay anyone.

If he has a cash flow problem, I find it worrisome. I am trying to get out of here and find a dig friendly apartment. I am leery of this neighborhood and I find it unsettling that Neighbor next door is not permitted to have a phone. What if there is a fire? Landlord had the answer: There are alarms.

Alarms? A fire can spread in minutes! Suppose she can’t even get to the fire escape or the door? We all go up in flames???

(he also claims he has no idea who pays for Neighbor’s apartment. c’mon…somebody’s name is on the check. or does that money show up on his doorstep in an envelope with “For J.” written on it? Who ya kiddin?

Getting back to the rent increase:

I cannot believe how silly he and his wife are. You mean to tell me she can’t type up the notice and mail it in a business envelope?? She hasn’t got a typewriter? You put it on a silly notecard??? This isn’t how business is done.

If there is a major breakdown of the furnace or the roof heads south during a storm — what happens?

Trying to sign up for health insurance…

My first stop was United healthcare, who I had covering me up until about 4 years ago.

Everything went fine until somehow the system hung and it couldn’t be “called up.”:(

I tried the Obamacare hotline.:(

I told them I was retired and had no income and they told me I was ineligible for Obamacare and that Medicaid would be what coverage was mine.

I said “That all goes through the county in our state. Isn’t that county government who more or less ‘runs’ it, and no the federal government?” She couldn’t answer my question.

I need coverage from somewhere and I am going to keep on trying…..

And today’s try — writing this as an addendum; today is Tuesday…

Is to no avail.

United Healthcare quoted me $600. What the hell? Do they think all of us are made of money?

We’re screwed and that’s that.

And don’t get me started again about wanting to go back to work. I fucking can’t believe this happened to me.

What say do I have in any of this?

This has to do with that neighbor.:(

2 weeks ago the cops were here to see her (I heard the whole conversation; I was on the inside decorating my tree).

Seems as though somebody down at that shopping center complained Neighbor tried to touch her child.

First she denied being there. Then she sort of said she was ther and the cops said “If you do it again we will arrest you.” they asked her for the current date and she said “December 5, 1916 – 17.”

I spoke to the cops about this I got the same song and dance as last time. They more or less poo pooed the whole thing.

I told Landlord what happened. He claimed he spoke to the cops and he says there is no way she can be evicted.

Today I heard a commotion outside at 9 am; I heard a lot of metal and clanking and guys’ voices raised. I thought it was a truck unloading. And then I heard loud banging.

I decided to go see what was going on — I heard a guy say “you can’t get in that way” — there’s the front door shaking and pounding.

I said “Who is it?” “Police!”

Christ…was this an emergency??? I opened the door and guess what:

They were breaking the door down because she is locked out.

I’ve never heard of anything so bent. Oh? The cops come a running because she is locked out? Nice waste of taxpayer money.

He claims she cannot be evicted so long as “she” is paying ‘her” rent. She isn’t paying the rent. Allegedly she is here due to some public mental health program that’s placed her here. I don’t think that is it — there’d be a conservator and social workers and site visits: she has had none of that.

I cannot be out of here until fall. Very long story and I am upset about that — and until then, I have to put up with this potentially unsafe little geek that lives on the same floor as I do. When do they remove her? When an incident occurs and somebody gets harmed, like a child???

I cannot believe that the cops let that go. Wonder what they told the child’s mother? WOW, if this was my child I’d have stormed that mayor’s office demanding their removal!

Catering to her, yet — I said something to that effect when the cops said “We are here because she’s locked out” — and I capped it with “Unbelieveable!” and stormed upstairs.

No way at all I can complain about her to some county agency and see if they can’t remove her? I am sure the police report is there for the record — and by rights, that incident should have been reported to that agency, IF there is an agency responsible for her being here in the first place.

How lousy. All of it. And nobody cares. All he wants is her rent money.

A decision to make

On Sunday, I returned from a visit with cousins. I was there for about a week.

They live in a much different part of the country; very large distance from here.

It is a whole new way of life. it is considered country and rural; the nearest large city is about 3 hours away.

Living is pretty cheap there; you can rent for next to nothing –half of what the rent is here — or buy a home at a fraction of the cost (and a fraction of the property taxes) of a home purchased out here. There is no urban sprawl and no infiltration of developers. There are homes here where the norm is 2 acres of land with a real nice ranch that goes for maybe 200K. No way can you touch a deal like that in New Jersey.

The thing is this: where does everyone work? I saw no companies, no office parks.

The towns themselves are large — a hundred square miles each in most cases. There are houses and then stretches of land with nothing on them. it’s desert.

If I could find a job out there, I’d be there in no time flat.

I would consider moving to that area in another 2 or 3 years to be sure.

What have I got here? Who have I got here, that is in my corner?

I never heard from Bro again. To be expected. To tell the truth, he could be anywhere; that lease on that apartment was up in September; they could have moved away, maybe not.

I am having a hard time finding good places and good situations where I can meet a bona fide friend. The silence now is deafening. This is now over 7 months of this nonsense where I am completely on my own and alone. It is bothering me now and bothering me greatly.

If I was 30 or even 40, there would be groups to join where I could meet somebody in my age category; where does a 59 year old go, to make a bona fide good friend? Who will you meet that is in the same boat as you — that is not on the hubby track and the grandkiddo track? That shit’s not for me.

I had an art show about a month ago; it was a large contingency of local artists that display every year in this one locale. 6 of us were in the room where we showed art; I know one guy slightly, another guy kind of kept to himself and there was a Hispanic couple who did not speak much English.

The other 3 artists I kind of got to know are good to keep in touch with for art shows and anything art but as bona fide friends I can do things and go places with: no.

(What I am looking for: a group of women and men that I can more or less have as an ‘extended family’ — all of us in the same category and those of us who are more or less free of family. No egos, no hangups, no phonies, no temper tantrums; this would be broad-minded, fun and smart adults) 

I haven’t got that many relatives left: one cousin is 50 miles away and the other 2 are the 2 I visited for Thanksgiving week. I had the time of my life out there.

To pick up and just move there: to me, right now, it is mind blowing. I haven’t got a job here; as I said, where are the jobs out there? I asked about it awhile back and my cousin said nobody was really hiring out there.

I still don’t know how you transcend having no job. How do you move on and get on with life? A therapist helps you get it off your chest but you are still left with the fact that there is no job you are working at.

And in July it looked like things were picking up. Nope. The ads dried up again and the last interview I had was 4 months ago.

I am disappointed with everyone and everything. There were things that didn’t pan out and acquaintances that didn’t deepen into a real friendship. I am better off with new people — people who do not know what happened to me — maybe I can start over with a clean slate.

A friend of mine said “move to a locale that brings nothing  but a smile to your face.” He was talking to a group of us about where he lives, which is New Mexico.

And also a factor, regarding how unsettled I feel right now: the fact those 2 friends took off: now it’s really starting to make me angry. I think I glossed it over when it happened but now I’m mad as hell. And I guarantee you Miss Broadway Tickets is disclosing every confidence of mine and she hasn’t got one nice thing to say about me.

This is real ambivalence: when I think about the 2 of them, I wonder “what the heck was really in this for me, either one of these 2 ‘friendships’?” How often did I see them? Where did we go? what kind of concessions were made for me?

I suggest a really cool trip and I get “I haven’t thought that far ahead right now…” Not the first time she has said it, when I suggest a really cool trip we can take. That is her-ese for “No. I don’t want to go on an exciting vacation.” Bully to her.

In fact, last year in June, I mentioned to her that my cousin was somebody I was planning to visit and she retorted, “Somebody sure must have a lot of money if they are talking about taking all of these trips.”:(

I replied, “he has offered to fly me out and pay my fare.” She shut her damn jealous mouth.

Maybe I should have bidden her adieu months ago. Geez…you are going to be 60 soon and you are acting like you are SIX??? Who makes a comment like that, really?

But still you are mad the 2 of them took off, and rightfully so. When will somebody come along to fill the void? We need people and we all need friends. We need them: but never again 2 “friends” like the  2 who took off on me.  And I will be damned if I make the same mistake and decide to have more sticks in the mud as friends: NO MORE.

All of this is why I am really tempted to move to the area where my cousins are…but as I said: what about a job???

I would at least have next of kin nearby: how do you think I feel about that? I have no next of kin. Not out here .

Don’t kid yourself — bro would NEVER come to my aid and he would give a fuck less what happened to me. You don’t think I am not scared of that? What about me: who have I got? There is nobody I can call if I have an emergency.

And shit: Remember the episode last year where my heart sped up?

When I told the both of them what happened to me, neither one of these 2 friends said to me “I will leave my cell phone on. If you need somebody to help, you can call me.”

And back in  May, right after I had that nosebleed that I wound up going to the emergency room for — I told my other friend what happened.

At the conclusion of the story, she did not say to me “call me if you need somebody in case of an emergency.”

So how much did either one of them care? Perhaps I should have been the one to take the high road in a hurry…a long long time ago.

But I “had” to be available when Miss Tickets had trouble with that asshole boyfriend 2 years back (The one she resumed seeing this past October: this is the one she claimed chased her car and banged on the windows, that time 2 years ago) — she called me on a Sunday morning in August, 2 years ago, crying  about how scared she was and that she needed somebody to talk to and somewhere to go.

Guess who said “come on over.” Now I regret it deeply.

The best place for her was down at the police station, across the street from her apartment building: not at my house: suppose he followed her?

And 7 years ago, I had to be available for her at nearly midnight, when her other boyfriend was dying and she needed somebody to drive her 40 miles up the road to his hospital.

I guess I am a damn dunce, then. And a sucker for everyone.:(

Nobody returns the favor for me when I am the one who needs somebody in case of an emergency.

I just wonder when it is that I get out from under.

As for the one who stiffed me when it came to that Broadway show: she would never come to my apartment building — I think I mentioned this — I gave her 5 sets of directions in April, right after I moved in — and she put up a fuss with all of them, claiming they put her into too much traffic or the directions were tough to follow, etc.

Something was very wrong there. I even went as far as to conclude — a month after she was out of my life — that she must have gotten into a pack of trouble with somebody or something from this town: maybe it’s a RO or an arrest or she was banned from coming to this town? That is my only conclusion.

I am 15 minutes from her apartment. Closer than my old locale…yet she would not come here. Very strange.

There is no way she told me what happened to her, when it happened. If she got into some kind of trouble, then I sure don’t need a friend like this. Makes you wonder what she did with her time that she got into a pickle like that one which possibly can be a legal one indeed. C’mon: why else is she refusing to COME here?

So that is where I stand right now.

I guess I am still trying to get my bearings. 🙁

12:31 EST and not looking so good for HRC

Holy God.

it’s like a bomb hit the Javits Center — those people are silent, blank eyed and devastated.

What happened here?

This jerkoff broke every rule and pissed off everybody from here to Alpha Centauri. He’s insulted everybody he can find and stopped at nothing to say everything and anything disgusting and stomach turning.

It’s like everybody in the states “nobody really lives in” voted for him.

All of a sudden, this was….just gone, for her. When they announced Florida swung in his direction, it was over after that.

I will be up for awhile, probably until about 3 am.

Unfuckingbelievable. The Big Tangerine Pussy Snatcher has won the election.

Three people have told me they are shit scared — told me this all along and said so again, this morning — both of them don’t know what to do or where to go.

And now we have to “wait for Wisconsin.” Another stupid state that’s like some kind of a joke – what happened here??

This is the end of everything as we know it. Simply because a nonpolitician won — and because this fruitcake won.

244 to 215. I can’t see how she can win. 5 states are on the map that can go any way.

God help us all. What a sad sad thing for us and what a travesty and heartbreaker. You and I know he has no intention of keeping any promise he has made.

I don’t think she “gets it” at all.

Long story short: it is tough to find a good therapist in this area.

I cannot use the group that I used when I was getting divorced; they do not accept clients from this county.

I was given the phone numbers of 3 referrals when I called that group I just mentioned — one is way too expensive, one is at the more or less county hospital (too many stories about that place and right now, its status is in jeopardy; it may close…or perhaps be bought out by some private group)…and I cannot seem to get an appointment with the third group. They are supposed to be very good but you have to call in the AM to see if there is somebody available to meet with you…and you’re supposed to call each morning to see if one is available??? Why can’t I just make an appointment?

I have had no success with that group. This morning, they didn’t even answer the phone. On Thursday and Friday they told me nobody was available and I called right at 9 am when they opened for business.

So I am meeting with this other therapist. One I found by happenstance when I was involved with Bro and the partition; they are in the same building as the atty I used.

To make a long story short, I don’t think she “gets” what the real scope of the problem is.

She can’t seem to understand what it means to be alone: I told her I have no next of kin — she can’t seem to get it I am isolated.

There is nobody at all now — and as far as family goes, it’s only 3 cousins who are left and I haven’t seen  them in years — you hear from them by phone or FB but man, it still is not family you are close to — she doesn’t seem to grasp that concept…

And is this possible? “everyone” is gone???

Isn’t this a problem indigenous to somebody much older, who might have outlived a child or spouse and other family members??

She is suggesting I go to meet up groups to get some friends??? Gee, I know about the meet up groups. If I thought they were a good idea, man, I’d have been there already, a long time ago.

Those meet up groups are like ships passing in the night — there also is no core group; that is to say, this is not an organization with a cadre of officers and a membership attached — and even so, I have belonged to groups like those: people come and go and the core group usually turns out to be a stale bunch. IT’s even like that with things like tennis parties, which used to be a major event for singles — you get the same group of people who attend those functions…usually they’re “paired off” with friends and you wind up feeling like an outsider.

I think also there is a fee to attend the event. They are all based in the city and the events are in pricey venues.

And any women who come to events or meet up groups usually are there for one thing: to meet some guy ASAP and to pair up immediately. You can tell which ones are desparate; you can feel it when they are there.:(

I saw this myself at those singles dances — all of the women looked alike: same black dress with the spaghetti straps, the same black pumps, the same shortish dark hairstyles and they all had a patina about them: all in a hurry to meet some guy.

(I was never a fan of those dances; I went to a bunch with that crazy girl I mentioned — the one who I told not to come to my art reception. This was wow, almost 20 years ago. The guys were fixtures — they use these dances as a social outlet; mostly they are talking to other guys who are “regulars”! —  and the women were too hard up. I saw nothing great about those dances at all)

She cannot seem to figure out what to do with the job issue, either.

I am looking for somebody older who is skilled with those who are out of work for awhile. I don’t know if anybody fits that bill. Unless you have been out of work yourself and unless you were out of work for awhile, you won’t understand where it is at at all.

I seem to be “Stuck” with this therapist. I don’t know who else I can call and “try out” — I would hate to throw my money away.

I wanted at least 3 I could compare and from that 3, I was going to take the one I felt the most comfortable with.

This counselor reminds me too much of this “for free” “therapy” group that I stopped into 3 years ago when this mess with the partition was starting up. They didn’t seem to know what to say or what to do. They didn’t understand what a partition was or why I would be suing a sibling.  See? An immediate failure.

I am coping with isolation, being uprooted, not being able to find a niche  where I am living right now (I told you guys I would NOT mix with anyone in this neighborhood) , I am coping with safety issues that this neighborhood has, no job, no next of kin — and I got uprooted not once but twice: when I left the house and when I moved to this neighborhood. Plus my poor dog is gone.:(

And there also is the issue of what happened to those 2 crazy “friends” that I used to have. That somebody took off and you have no closure just plain sucks. Not to mention it makes you mighty edgy and paranoid — you don’t know who or what could have gotten into the mix that caused her to jet.

An empty bench and no contact with anybody that is a friend. The silence is deafening in here most days.:( And that silence won’t end until I can bring in even one person that I would consider to have as a friend.

“These don’t sound like friends to me” is all she said.

No shit.:(

“Oh, you’re lonesome…”

Uh… is isolation that I am trying to grapple with. How the heck do you fix the fact that your bench dried up and now you’ve got nobody left as a friend???

I don’t know if this was bad luck or these 2 simply met their expiration dates or what it is but all I do know is that there’s nobody. I am now going to places alone and doing things by myself. There’s nobody to call and ask me how I am doing. No friendly voice at the end of the line nobody to say “let’s go here today” or “this weekend, let’s do such and such.”

(I have dozens of acquaintances, like I said — and I am afraid to get close to them as it is…who wants a friend with no job — and what the heck DO you say when they ask you “so what do you do for a living?” Expected you will have this friend for a long time and won’t they eventually say, “Why can’t this chick find a job? Why won’t she return to work?” You won’t be looked upon favorably.

I am trying not to come across like the 3 of us are 12 years old, or to make it seem like I am only there for a lonely hearts club meeting of sorts. The problem I have is immense — I want to nip this in the bud but now it’s a matter of wondering if you are wasting your time with the therapist you saw.

I had one meeting with her on Friday.

Plus there is the problem of being an older adult and being an older adult that has a chronic illness. What do you do when there is nobody at all in your corner? I have had 2 emergencies: nobody around to call where they’d be right over.:( Son of a bitch.:(

Finding new friends is going to be like dating…

And we all know how shitty dating is.

This will be no quick fix. No quick fix at all. You are weeding out the undesirable and weeding out those who won’t “work” for you. Time for me to be picky and choosy as all fark — I don’t want any more rejects or behavior problems.

No idea who else to call — I am at a loss. The universities here used to have a rolling fee counseling service available — that’s long long gone.

She may also think it’s just plain strange that I sued Bro. Suing a family member….uh, who does that, right???

These counselors also have to be ‘schooled” in what a partition agreement is…and why I had to do it. Already this is awkward and strange.

See where this is going?

I got slammed from all sides — over the last 3 years and especially over the last 12 months.

I am wondering now will I ever get restitution and help at all?:(

I concluded that I was doomed when Bro got into the picture, period — yes, as in the day he was born — and that the only thing that would have saved me from all of this would have been to marry somewhere in my 20s and still be with that guy. I’d have had a family — and probably kids — and more or less Bro would have been off my hands and somebody else’s frigging problem and not mine. What can you do?:(

Always a problem. My mother should have sent him off to a child psychologist when he started that nonsense in 5th grade. All of the lying started a couple of years after that. That merited intervention. She would not do it.

This is too good not to add: I just went to my “junk” email addy — which I use for certain things — and in that mailbox is a message from one of the meet up groups. They apparently won’t welcome you into the group unless you more or less ‘sit” for a 45 minute interview.

Good night, nurse….suppose you simply want to check out the event they are meeting up at??? This is a little invasive and asking for way too much.

So I am more or less “stuck” with that counselor.:(

Almost embarrassed to admit it


I don’t know where to begin.

I am pretty sure I lost the last friend that I have left.

I have acquaintances a plenty but as I said: my circle of friends has always been small.

I am not sure what happened behind the scenes but I can suspect and surmise.

Hesitant to talk about it because I don’t want to sound trite or like this is a middle school girl’s zone.

Bear with me because all of this is going to sound crazy and maybe even silly  but please, this matters to me, so here goes:

Cast of Characters:
Pat – the friend and subject of this gripe
Debbie – former friend I had that ticket mess with back in April
Tina – somebody I parted ways with nearly 4 years ago (she moved away to a town maybe 30 miles from me some dozen years ago  and after that, Tina didn’t seem to want to continue the friendship. We more or less grew apart and I sort of lost touch with her. It more or less a became distant acquaintanceship 2 years after she moved away)
Now for the story:

I do not hear from Pat very much. We are not very close friends. We go to a movie every so often or grab coffee but that’s about it. We talk once a week.

The last time I talked to her was a couple of days after that event that happened here on Saturday morning, 3 weeks ago.

She’s got a bad situation with a very ill father. We talked about that 3 weeks ago. I guess I spent maybe an hour and change on the phone with her that day.

I called her that Friday; she did not ring back.  I finally reached her on Monday and we spoke briefly. She ended the conversation with “I have to go; I’m waiting to hear back from my mother.” I said goodbye and hung up.

I called there again on Friday of that week, no call back. Ditto for Monday and Wednesday.

There is no way she can be that busy with her father.  Something is wrong here and I think I know what it is…get ready, because this is going to sound crazy:

Flashback to last fall.  Pat said to me, “How is Debbie?”

I said “Okay, I guess. I talked to her a couple of days ago” and then Pat said, “Does she ever mention Tina? Because Tina hasn’t called me back and I am wondering if she is mad at me…”

I said “Tina?? Debbie and I are out of the loop on that one; we haven’t spoken to her in 3 years…”

Why would she even mention Tina? Pat knew about this mess with Tina when it happened 3 years ago. She knew I was not on speaking terms with Tina. So why is she even asking if Debbie has heard Tina say something about her?

I will bet you any amount of money that during that phone call last fall, Pat accidentally outted Debbie (as well as Tina too)  — and Debbie is thick with Tina again and has been since at least the fall.

And now I am wondering if the 2 of them have said God knows what to Pat and now I’ve got Pat leaving me out in the cold. As they say, stranger things have happened.

This no calls back stuff cannot be “because of her father.” My mother was in a hospital and was critical upon arrival; she was gone by Day 12 — I still made time to shop, do laundry and yes, call friends. I even had time to go to my local little mall and buy a few things on winter sale!

Albeit the calls would not consist of  a long conversation; I would have a brief conversation or leave a message.

So, no — this is not a “father” thing and no, I do not feel like a guilty little shit for saying it.

Something is weird here.

I don’t have a good feeling about this.

Why am I getting the idea that something happened behind the scenes and Debbie and Tina are involved in this?

Tina and last fall is a whole other story in itself. During that same conversation with Pat last fall, after I made the comment about being out of the loop with Tina, I said “gee, I was not even there at Debbie’s house that nightand I haven’t spoken to Tina in nearly 3 years but come on; that wasn’t right what Tina said about me” to which Pat replied “Tina doesn’t see that the same way.”

WHAT??? You are not even taking my side in this — you are siding with Tina???

I should have known and then and there I should have said, “Pat, listen: you and I cannot be friends right now. I’ve got to go” and hung up.

Maybe I didn’t say that but I did tell Pat about the rotten things that Tina said or did over the years — including how she was taking bets on how long my marriage would last — and how she said to me during the phone call I made, telling her that I and the spouse split up — “Well, if you want to meet a younger guy, I know lots of them. My boyfriend has a lot of friends who are younger guys.” Who the eff says this to somebody who’s poured their heart out and who is in a critical and sad time of their life???

I said exactly that to Pat…

And all she did was listen. No “this is terrible” and “this is not right” — to me, the silence means “I do not agree with you.” Eff that noyze.

I have concluded that Pat accidentally outted Debbie during that phone call last fall and that friendship with Tina is now happening again. Stranger things have happened and you know how secretive Debbie is, from what I told all of you. You think she’s going to tell me that Tina and she are friends again???

I never gave this a thought last fall. What am I supposed to do — read into everything? (and as it is Debbie has a lot of confidential information about me.  She’s really pissed at me and I would not put it past her to violate every confidence I disclosed to her)

And even if this is not Tina and Debbie or one of the other… something is terribly wrong here. You do not just stop contacting somebody. I doubt if this is a depression thing or a “I can’t bring myself to call Dude” thing.

And all this time later, Tina — nearly 4 years later — and you, Debbie, four months later — and you still both have your bats on for me and you’re both hell bent for slander and lies and damage???

How sick. How sick and how vile.

I feel just awful. How does one get along without friends? What do I do if I have a real emergency? there is now nobody I can call. What do I do when I need to get something off my chest or if I need to see a friendly face or hear a friendly voice?

I don’t think I am wrong. Something is terribly amiss here — now I have Pat vanishing on me. This is not like her and if I am right — c’mon, there is no such thing as not being able to call somebody sometime — why did she do it this way? She left me hanging with no reason behind it and no closure? Man, I am not even assured of what really DID happen here!!

And you went and you believed all of this — 100% and hook line and sinker — and you don’t even call me and say “Dude, listen; I heard something and I want to know if it is true” and then tell me what you heard???

This is what value I had to you, as a friend.

Has anybody here experienced anything like this?  Has anyone been high and dry minus a friend?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had this odd nagging feeling — I never had a good feeling about Pat during those few weeks. Your gut has a funny way of telling you things.  I don’t care how crazy it sounds — somebody somewhere in Pat’s travels had to say something about me and Pat didn’t like what she heard. I suspect strongly it is  Tina and/or Debbie.

So this is what you do, you just take off and leave no closure behind it? You accept what you heard and I’m the shithead and culprit? This is what you do to a friend of 18 years?

And whatever it was that was said: how harmful is it to ME??? Suppose somebody said something really lousy that is not even true? This could be bordering on slander and defamation of character.

I thought Pat was so intelligent and so thoughtful. What is going on here? You were with me 1000% of the way all through that garbage with Bro and with me 1000% of the way during this past year that the devil himself sent me — yeah, and you felt oh so bad after my marriage ended —- and you felt oh so bad about my dog and what happened to him…you were allegedly so concerned about my nose bleed that sent me to a hospital and concerned last fall when I mentioned that speeded up heart rate thing to you…

And now all of a sudden, your ass is gone???

Your gut? how do you confront this person? All you have is a nagging bad feeling. Where does this leave you??

Again, this is not a “dad is sick and she has her hands full with him and she cannot call” thing. Gee, her father isn’t even IN a  hospital; he is home and they are still contacting physicians over in the city, trying to figure out what to do. My mother was dying in a hospital and I still called Pat and whoever it is that was in my loop!

All of this is enough to make you hate people.

And getting back to Tina: after I was told by Debbie that I was cursed out by Tina and Tina said a lot of rotten things about me, I picked up my phone and uninvited Tina to my art reception. How funny…Tina cared so much about me that she never called me immediately upon hearing the message with “Dude, what happened? You and I are friends; why can’t I come to your reception?”

Considering how undependable and wow, effing queer these 3 have been, this is no loss. I should have gotten rid of Pat, perhaps after that “Tina thinks otherwise”  statement.  You don’t have my back and you didn’t even say “This is my friend, cut it out”? How the eff old are you, really, Pat? And why is there no solidarity for me?    You let her run rampant and ramshackle over me? Why??

We’ve got 2 whole weekends that passed since I spoke to Pat — last weekend and this one — and not one sound out of Pat. Gee, I always thought that if a parent was dying you’d want to turn to your friends — yes I might be putting it in a  crass and shitty way — but it is very very odd that I can’t seem to raise her. I cannot be wrong; she’s gone and I have no reason behind any of it.

It’s manipulative and childish and just plain rotten.

You can call on your lunch hour or you can call right before you leave for work — Christ, you can leave a message saying you are okay.

I am upset. Find new friends? that will take awhile. I am nearing 60 so there are not that many meet-up things for people in that age category. I want friends who are intelligent and fun and are not hung up on the adult child/grandma track.  I more or less want women and men who are in the same boat as I am — perhaps have the friends as an extended family of sorts.

There is a divorced/widowed group that meets/socializes and is based in a church — I have never had any success with those groups. The people in them seem to be maladjusted and antisocial.

What a rotten 12 months this has been. I was prepared for the fallout with bro — I couldn’t let that garbage continue; that house would have been recalled by the town for nonpayment of taxes; that usually takes 2 or 3 years and this would have been Year 3.  So that house would have been gone by now. I at least had the option of getting it sold so it would not be a monetary loss.

I have no human factor at this point. And wow, the last time I saw Pat? My birthday — that was in October. So what did  I have here, a phone friend thing? That is awful.

I suggest I not tarry and get out there and start trying to meet people — but this is horrible. HORRID.  I feel like I am living inside some kind of Twilight Zone episode or a Lovecraft short story. You don’t even know why this person’s missing in action? And she calls herself a good Catholic? To the devil with her; you ain’t worth SHIT to me, lady.

You are up the creek with no paddle. There is no way you can ask this person what happened. I do not cross paths with her. T here’s not even a group we meet at or some common point where I’d encounter her fairly often where I would be able to say to her “Pat, what’s going on? where have you been?” I’m STUCK. and this MIA nonsense shall forever remain a mystery and so will it remain a mystery if she heard something about me. That’s the ONLY thing I can think of: somebody said I said something about her.

Lady, use your brain: would I ever do that to you???

….Or maybe she got sick of having a friend who has had too much trouble in her life. Gee, right now her friend is in a shitty  building with all Section 8 people and 2 of them are known mental cases. Poor Dude. Yes, Poor Dude but I can’t continue this friendship.

Is that where it’s at??

The loneliness factor is indescribable. I told you guys I cannot and will not mix with this neighborhood. I can’t really “make friends” with the neighbors — I see but 3 of them: that lady with the kids and the other 2 I told you about. There is “nothing” here for me.

Had things worked out in another way for me: I’d have bought a home years ago and moved to an actual locale where there’d be a lot going in it for me. I’d make the new friends and have the new experiences.

I didn’t want to come to this neighborhood — I have talked about this before. For the entire time being, I have only myself. And my options are getting out there and doing something each day and finding things I can attend where I can at least talk to people.  As for the friends? that takes time to nurture the friendship.

So I am uprooted yet again and for whatever reason it is, Pat’s gone.  I have no substantiated reason why and I am guessing I never will — it will be open to debate and I can only guess at what happened. Though I think “She heard something about me that involved her” is a very very good guess.

Suggestions or aid? or anything??? I need it badly.

Kind words will help, too. Thanks.


Paid visit to the cops…

Not a formal complaint, just to see where all of this with that neighbor is at.

On Monday, at about 6pm, I hear a knock at my door.

Who else knocks, right?

I went to the door (did not open it) and asked who was out there.

Neighbor identified herself and then said “do you still live here?”

I told her to go away and that if she bothered me again, I’d call the cops and I added “Just what is it you want, anyway?” She replied hurriedly “nothing” and went into her apartment.

Yesterday I saw the cops. To tell them what’s happened and just to ask them what’s what.

Turns out they seem to know her well. “We deal with her on a daily basis; she has mental problems and she is in a protection program. She is harmless. We will tell her not to bother the neighbors.”

I asked if anybody else occupied that apartment and he said “No; she is there by herself.”

Why in the world did Landlord tell me she lived with a guy, then….and why did he say the guy was in and out, all the time, spending time at his mother’s place???

I think I remember mentioning that I never heard another voice coming out of there or heard another person’s footsteps in there, not at any time at all after I moved in. I also heard nobody but her when I was here that week when I was cleaning and p ainting .

It’s been quieter in there than the proverbial mouse, when she is not occupying that apartment. It was fantastic for that 2 weeks when she was not here at all.

I can’t see how she’d be in a protection program. Wouldn’t somebody, like a caseworker or social worker or maybe even a probation officer of sorts, come to her place at least once a month to check on her? Wouldn’t they have to also see her apartment, you know, to make sure she can handle living on her own, if there’s enough food in it and so forth?  I am sure she has to take medication — who checks on that? Nobody’s shown up at her place.

This is a shitty building for somebody in a protection program.

This is no neighborhood for anyone. I also told them everything was shaky enough as it was, being this neighborhood is not a good one and there have been lots of incidents since I moved in.

I wish I could have had other options and a better place to move into. I was under the gun as it was; I could not stay where I was indefinitely and seemed that apartments were in short supply. IF there was anything available, it was too large, too expensive or the realtor wanted a background check and a whole employment history.

This is a whole year since that other mess has been over. I am not happy; nothing seems to be getting better. There are no other opportunities for me.

I asked my cousin what the job prospects were like out in California; she more or less said not that great. I can scratch that idea; I can’t and won’t move to an area where I am not guaranteed a job. It would defeat the purpose of the whole thing. If there were jobs, I’d head out there; I’d also have the benefit of family living nearby.

So my only choice is to hang in where I am living right now. I don’t see anything else “out there” for me; I tried registering with realtors and they didn’t pan out; one of them never called me back when I called her 2 weeks ago to see if there was any progress with an apartment for me; another one had me lined up to see a place — I called him 2 days later to see what time they planned to meet me the following afternoon (they were going to meet me at a central locale and I was going to see the apartment)…and he never called me back. Odd.

I never mentioned a dog so it wasn’t that. I told him I was open to a 3 room apartment in any town in this area. Beats me why he never called me.

Just a Friday Morning Observation

Isn’t it funny how absolutely nobody is talking about “Steve from Virginia”….

But everybody wants to hear what the Kardashians or Taylor Swift or Kanye have to say.

Isn’t it funny how the topic of “Steve From Virginia” left the scene the second the news coverage ended. Nobody is even discussing amongst themselves who he is, whee he came from, why he did it or anything else.

Poof…. just gone.

The owner of the building didn’t even mention the climber.

How odd. He didn’t weigh in with the press or issue a statement…and you can bet your hat he didn’t meet with “Steve from Virginia,” either

(He no doubt is in a federal prison and not likely we will hear from him, or about him, again. I watched his youTube video; he didn’t have much to say. He’s a youngish guy, about 25 maybe)

My point is this: we have become brainwashed. We no longer demand answers nor do we have a quest for any kind of knowledge, nor do we ask “what was really behind that climb? What’s his game?”

It is them….and not us job candidates. Nobody intelligent is doing the hiring.

This is on the job interviewer 100% of the way.

And with companies run as shoddily as this one, they are the ones who are nobody to work for. Don’t blame yourself if you never hear from them again.

I would NOT work for this company if you gave me a trillion dollars and man, I can sure use the cash. This place was worse than the last 3. Yah, it’s been some month.:(

Another interview yesterday. I was leery about attending, considering the first 3 were wild goose chases.

I found the job ad by accident while I was doing a search for something else.

I decided to attend anyway and if they asked me for my salary requirements, I decided to say it/write it with GUSTO. No way I was going to hesitate after that last silly bunch last Tuesday. Know your worth.

I got there 15 minutes ahead of time. When the interviewer, somebody by the name of Mary,  contacted me she told me I’d be there 15 minutes; it would be a screening interview.

Gee, Mary — you could have done this by phone.:(

First question I was asked by Mary: “How long did it take you to get here?”

Looks like she did not even read my resume.

She couldn’t have — anybody knows the town where I am coming from is about 11 miles and perhaps 20 minutes away!

This was already the end of the ball game but I decided to stay around.

She also asked me “Are you currently employed?”

If you looked at my resume, you’d have known the answer to that question…no, I do not think this is a “let’s see if I catch her in a lie thing.” This is somebody’s error (not reading a resume before I arrived) plain and simple.

Other questions I was asked: are you married. Do you have kids. Do you have health insurance coverage from your husband.

My goodness: why are you asking me these questions? You didn’t even say “We are not asking to be sexist but we are looking to see if you will be needing coverage for your dependents.” And even so, you can say “Coverage for employee only” or “We cover the spouse and dependents” whichever applied and SKIP asking me personal questions.

Husband? Gee, maybe I have a wife!

Not so LGBTiqq2s friendly or broad minded, I see.

A bunch of general questions followed — we got on the subject of shipping and logistics and I mentioned I did a lot of that in one of my past jobs. Again, she proved 100% she did not review or read my resume — because if she had, she’d have noted the logistics and maybe written it down.

She looked at that section of my resume and that was it.

A second interview and you’re required to bring 3 references with you. Yeah, even if you are not the choice which means more of your sensitive info is lying around. (I will only supply an email address for my references but it is still the principle: don’t ask for a list of references if you are not going to hire the candidate)

This is going to be another “I asked for too much money” thing — there is but a week’s vacation and 5 sick days and that means the pay is terrible. I have never seen it fail.

“We have been looking for awhile…”?

Why hasn’t the job been filled? The ad that I found had an August 1 date listed and I am sure that is not the first time the ad has run. Very curious. Most likely everybody wants a livable wage and this bunch is not keen on supplying it.

I know I am not “running against” another candidate. I found the job ad by accident and I sent that resume on Saturday evening. On Monday I got a call from Mary and she pushed to get me in there for an interview next day (yesterday).

Stupid and silly little people like these actually exist. And I can imagine the mistakes she makes on a daily basis…but yet they want detail oriented. Haha, probably to pick up after HER and fix her errors.

I just did a google search for her. Led me to LinkedIn and she’s got a silly little certificate in horticulture. Listed that as her “education.”

I also wonder if she is the owner’s girlfriend or maybe even his wife. She also reminds me too much of that little sneak that was the operations manager at my last company. This is all bad news and doesn’t bode well for anybody who gets the job.

I know companies like these — I worked for too many of them and all of them have ended horrendously for me. I would not accept this job if it was offered to me. I know I will only be there a handful of months or maybe a year, if I am lucky. I will guess, though, that my “big” salary requirement got me out of the running. Guessing I am safe.:)

Notice she mentioned no more benefits other than that puny week off and 5 sick days. No 401K, no profit sharing, no nothing. They don’t go for ice water.

She also left the door open and a gent who was there (who was very nice to me) got to hear the whole inerview. Gee, do I need him hearing my salary requirement? Unless he is a bookkeeper and in charge of payroll…but I doubt it.

It is them and not us. How sad for us all. Looks like all that is left are companies that want somebody for cheap. YOu will get what you pay for.

The Curious Case of Donald…this is getting more strange by the second…

Trump’s comments — delivered to a newspaper he’s banned from attending his events since mid-June — capped a bizarre day on the campaign trail that also included asking for a crying baby to be removed from a rally and causing a stir over Purple Heart recipients.
In his interview with the Post, Trump criticized Ryan, saying, “We need very strong leadership.”
“We need very, very strong leadership,” Trump said. “And I’m just not quite there yet. I’m not quite there yet.”
At a rally in family-friendly suburban Northern Virginia, Trump reversed the stereotype of baby-kissing politicians when he called for a wailing infant to be ejected — spurring laughter after initially saying how much he loved babies. He also caused a stir when a military veteran gave Trump a Purple Heart, prompting Trump to say he “always wanted a Purple Heart” and this was “much easier” than serving in combat.
In another example of a scattershot campaign, Trump’s son, Eric, was drawn into a discussion about workplace behavior following the resignation of Fox News chief Roger Ailes over sexual harassment allegations.
He told CBS’ Charlie Rose that said his sister Ivanka was “strong” and “powerful” and would never allow herself to be sexually harassed by her boss
The comment drew a one-word tweet from Fox News host Megyn Kelly: “Sigh.”
Still despite the gathering chaos around Trump, lingering questions still surround his campaign and those who criticize him.
He is so unorthodox that it is sometimes tough for those caught up in the maelstrom to judge what is happening against a credible political scale. His antics often beg the question of whether Trump has so skewed campaign logic that he has tapped into a connection with voters that normal politicians don’t even recognize. That makes it far too early to write him off.
But equally, it’s possible America is currently watching the meltdown of the billionaire’s campaign. Perhaps the most unorthodox, unpredictable candidate ever has hit limits of political convention that even he can’t trump?
American political sages are not alone in trying to figure out the riotous election — the world is watching too.


And this is who the masses wanted?

In another interview elsewhere,  he was asked about abortion. “I am pro-life” he said and when pressed by the interviewer what he should or would do, all he kept saying is “they should  be punished….Oh I am pro life…” He went on and on in a circle on the same kick all throughout.

That clip is on You Tube; you can find it if you wish.

So what is he planning to do? get a list of who has had a TAB and then round them up…or something??? This is sickening. Truly sickening.

That info is highly confidential due to HIPPA rules. Who knows what he’d do to obtain it?? And what about the women who had abortions in the days when it was illegal???  (ask my bio prof about that, what he saw when he was an RA in a large well known Midwest university. The girls used Vanish and Drano and soft drinks to induce the abortion. Most died or were in poor medical shape when all was said and done)

(Possible also that he is just talking out his arse just to say something and either way, this just sucks. You wonder why other countries laugh at us — They have even more of a reason to laugh at us now, thanks to him)  

What do we do if he wins?

There is a chance, yanno: 50-50 by virtue of the fact only he and she are running (no third party will have a snowball’s steamin’ chance in hell)

How many more a-hole comments is he going to make? What’s the intent and purpose here? to further divide us all?

There is zero chance he will be pulled as a candidate: it just isn’t done.

Neither he nor she is qualified to run for President. She was under investigation and was  permitted to do so, run for President? There was no lengthy Congressional hearing — no lengthy anything — just a cameo appearance by the FBI who  swiftly concurred “nothing wrong here, folks. Let’s move along.”

And now he is asking — 2 or 3 times during one conversation — why we cannot use nukes if we have them.

Is it possible he is this stupid? This crazy??

What’s going on here, really? Why is he the candidate? Did somebody “pick” him and made sure he got the nom, or what?

That little gem of his wide-eyed and breathless-as-a-superfan innocent little question is in the link below:

Trump Asks, ‘If We Have [Nuclear Weapons], Why Can’t We Use Them?’

Who keeps the republic safe??

Too hilarious NOT to share….what a comedy…

It is quarter of 5 in the morning as I key in this post….

I am drifting in and out of sleep — I do not sleep clear through the night anymore — and I hear a voice outside my door.

Now I am wide awake. I looked at my beside clock.

It is 3:45 am.

What the hell? I said…

And with that, I hear a knock at my front door.

I got up and headed to the door.

I looked through the peephole.

Who, of all people, is standing on my landing: why, that same woman I mentioned in prior threads. I referred to her as Odd Neighbor; her name is Jane…or so I thought [and more on that a bit later…]

Ordinarily I’d have ignored Jane, particularly at quarter of four in the morn,   but after she pulled the “I locked myself out” incident in June, it is likely she will knock all night. She knocked on my door for 45 minutes that afternoon until she went and got the guy from the back apartment to jimmy the door open for her.

I said “Who is it?” (I did NOT open the door)

It’s Jane.

She goes,  “I can’t get into my house.”

I said — and angrily — “I cannot help you with that. Wow, it’s quarter of 4 in the morning!”

“Quarter. Of. Four.” I heard her say.

I snapped,  “Yes; it’s quarter of FOUR! ” I added “I cannot and will not help you break in.”

To this she said nothing; presumably she left.

10 minutes later, I hear people coming up the front hall steps.

It’s her…with a cop! .The cop rattled her doorknob and said “I can’t help you with that…”

They headed down the stairs and then outside; there was some indistinguishable chatter (I didn’t hear any of it except “garage” because a streetcleaner, of all things, came up the block and drowned out the whole thing)

Well, it is quarter of 5 and she is outside, still roaming the streets! I just saw her heading down this block and to this building; she was outside talking to somebody (herself, I think)  and then I didn’t hear her anymore.

That guy next door is still away, then. No way she is house sitting or watching the place until he returns — he’s been gone 2 and a half weeks; what the heck is she doing here, at this hour?

I have a good mind to call that landlord and tell him what happened. Nobody sane  knocks on a neighbor’s door at quarter of four, period.

What kind of a comedy is Landlord running? This is even more hilarious than the primary election we just held!

And a cop came to the aid of  somebody who is locked out of an apartmentt??? And he didn’t ask her for an ID. Really, is he kidding???

These are cops, not a concierge or a locksmith! I think they still come to help you when you are locked out of your car, but not your home.

Around 6:30 she came back and let herself in. The cop must have told her to use an ATM card or something (it works in a pinch; I have tried it) …. because no way did any locksmith or anyone else come to open that door.

Absolutely insane. This ain’t an apartment sitting thing. She is now here round the clock and to me, she is unlawfully in somebody’s apartment; you are if you are here at quarter of 4 in the morning . Then again, seems as though when you have the key you can do what you want…hahaha, I learned that through the trial of fire with Bro!

5:13 pm: My goodness, how interesting…

I waited until 8:30 am and then I called Landlord and told him what happened.

He said to me, “Are you sure this was Jane?” He paused and said, “Jane lives in another part of the building.

I gave him Jane’s description.

He said, “That isn’t Jane; that is Nancy; she lives in there with John Smith; Jane lives in another part of the building.”

Then he said “I am trying to evict her.” Really? Trying? All he has to do is DO IT.

A little backstory — and this is how I found out her name is not Jane, the name she gave me…. 4 1/2 months ago, when I was set to move in, I got only 1 key. That is the key to the front and back door.

I am guessing in the confusion of upcoming surgery, he forgot to give me the other 3 keys.

I now need 3 more keys: one for the top lock on the back door, one for the top lock on the front door (both doors have 2 locks and that one key opens only the bottom lock to both the front and back doors) and one for the front ground floor door. This is the street entrance to the front of the building.

I live on the second floor in the rear; that door leads from the street to the second floor and my front door is the door I had the one key for. I did not have the key to the street level door.

Landlord was having surgery so he was not available to deliver the rest of the keys to me.

So here it was, 2 weeks before I was to officially move in (He told me I would have the last 2 weeks in March free of charge)  I decided to pick up the ball — I  called his  wife and told her what I needed: the key to the front door (I figured skip the other keys for now; the front door is essential). “You can borrow that front door key for the ground floor entrance; make a copy. Knock on the door of the apartment next to you and ask for Jane.  She lives in there.  She’s really nice. Borrow the key from her, make a copy and bring the original back to Jane.”

OKay, sounds like a good idea.

I went over to the building (The front door was locked) and by coincidence while I was in front of the building, this very tall thin and nearly skeletal woman was crossing the street. She came over to me and stopped.

She’s looking at me and not saying anything.

I said, “Do you live here?” She said yes. I said “Are youJane?” She said yes…and I told her what I needed.

“Oh, I can’t do that. That key belongs to the guy up on the second floor and I do not live here. This is his key.”

So here is why I thought she was Jane, and not Nancy…and why did she tell me her name was Jane and why did she say she did not live there????

Apparently she (Nancy) is living with that guy in the apartment next to mine.

She is not his companion who drops in and she is not housesitting whilst he is away…but nonetheless, you can see what I’ve got here: a nutcase. Can’t even give her right name??? I distinctly said “are you Jane?”

I am guessing Landlord’s wife has the tenants mixed up., But still…I’m telling him it’s Jane and I could have gotten Jane into a lot of trouble, thanks to Nancy!

I don’t know where  Jane’s boyfriend John Smith is; apparently he is not in there. He’d have opened the door for her, am I right? So no, he is not on premise.

As I said, that apartment was empty for 2 weeks and I am guessing he is still away at wherever they are and she is back here by herself…maybe??? If he was in there, surely he’d have come to the door.

Screw this….I had plans to move out anyway. I can’t stay here.

This whole building (and also the neighborhood)  is like a British farce.  There sure are enough doors and enough oddball events happening here for it to BE an English farce!

If I find out there is a Brooke Ashton, a Freddy Fellowes or a Poppy living here, I’ll lose my shit. hehe

I felt like a fool explaining this mess to Landlord (he sounded concerned) and felt like a bigger one after I explained to him how I thought Nancy was Jane! Well, Nancy was the one who said YES when I asked “are you Jane” — right???

How strange, all of it. Very odd and sorry, too much. You do not knock on a door at quarter of 4 in the morning  unless it is the direst of emergencies! It would have to be the building is being evacuated or perhaps somebody in there is ill and needs help and even so, you can call an ambulance! Why are you bothering me at 3:45 am; you can’t get into your house? Not my problem!

She has knocked before at odd hours – 6 am and 7 am —  and I refused to get the door. I had to ask her what she wanted this morning otherwise she will knock for another 45 minutes.


How odd she never called Landlord in June; you lock yourself out, you call the landlord, no?

There is a Wendy’s up the block she could have sat in, until 8 am or so, when she could have called either Landlord or a locksmith. Why she never called the landlord in June is mighty odd.

I’ve got my feelers out for a couple of apartments, both are far less expensive than this joint.

It will be interested to see how this plays out. And maybe I should have called a cop when she was knocking this morning.

The building, the neighborhood and the dog.:(

I’ve come to the conclusion I cannot stay in this building.

Some backstory: I took this apartment on half a moment’s notice because where I was staying was a king’s ransom. It was a do or die thing and I looked at a few apartments before this one and had no success. Too expensive.

This is a commercial building that consists of 10 apartments and a chiropractor. I am in the rear on the second floor. I have a back entry and a front entryway.

3 apartments are in this third of the  building. I and another resident are on the top floor; a youngish guy lives in the apartment at the front.

There is another neighbor who resides in a ground floor apartment; he is right under my apartment.

This neighborhood and building are not good.

I have had relatives living in this town for decades — my aunt and grandmother lived about 10 blocks west of here — and I had no idea that this quadrant of town was flat busted.

Most of the residents are Section 8. You can see it in the houses and you can see how seedy things are…and this whole building is Section 8.

I was more or less desperate to get out of where I was.

So I moved here…and I thought I’d be out and gone by September (very long story and my plans are not going to pan out where I can be out of here by fall) Not going to be out in September.

It is questionable and dangerous here, I believe:

1-Drunken kids arguing under my window. One of the drunk punks lives across the street. Funny how one of his parents never came outside and told him to get into the house.

2-Some Hispanic guy in a car, parked under my window. I could not see him but I cold hear him, screaming at somebody in murderous Spanish. I heard “pinga” and “mericon” and I heard thumping and banging, all this while he screamed blue murder in Spanish. Was he hitting somebody or was he banging something in that car out of anger??? I did not know.

The screaming went on for 3 minutes; I called the cops. I should have dialed the local cops directly; I called 911 and got a switchboard that Iguess is for the group of towns here. by the time the cops came, they were 10 seconds too late — the guy started the car and left and 10 seconds later, the cops got here.

3-People across the street had a party on 4th of July weekend and at midnight as the guests were leaving, the departure of the guests turned into a screaming match between a guy and a girl. He kept screaming at her to “get in this car…” And it went on for a good half hour. No lack of four letter words, either.

4-Odd neighbor that lives here, in this building. I avoid her like the plague. My thought is she is dangerous, too.

5-And the guy under me in the other ground floor apartment screams. Loudly. And I hear him possibly banging or throwing furniture. I think he is in there alone; he seems to be disadvantage. Why this guy is living on his own, I have no idea.

More backstory why this place is just the pits:

Back in April, there was a bag of trash and a chewed up box in the vestibule.  The box was flat and behind the vestibule door.

Nobody laid claim to any of the items; we are 3 residents in this section of the building that uses that front vestibule.

That trash has been here since I looked at this apartment and that was February 29. I suspect it was there for years.

Nobody has claimed it or thrown it away. Apparently they jut walk around it and past it.  Lots easier than tossing it out. (and also a big box of gadgets from Verizon — unopened — with the name of a former female resident on the shipping label.)

About a month after I got here, I asked Landlord if I could toss the stuff out.  He said yes.

Odd neighbor didn’t like this; she cornered me outside as i was taking out the trash — and claimed that the chewed up box was hers and gave me hell about “how can you just move in here and just throw things away.”

I was outside of the  building when she said all of this. I reached for my house keys — they were in my pocket — and she asked me “Do you have a weapon in there?”

I reported this to nobody. Because I would look like the bad guy. that’s why.

After the “have you got a weapon” inquiry, she huffed and puffed and then  vanished into the apartment next to mine and called me wow, about a thousand different names, including “helldog.” What the  hell is a helldog??? anyone know???

After that, I avoided the front entrance; I enter and leave using the back entry — she is always here; she lives in the other half of the  building but she is a fixture with some guy who is my next door neighbor.  I don’t know if this is his girlfriend or what but no matter: I avoid her like the plague.

When I’d leave out my front door that leads to the street, she’d be on it in a flash: that door to the apartment next to mine would slam open and she’d watch me leave. She’d do the same upon my arrival…

And did the same when I had Verizon here and a furniture delivery here: the door opened and she’d stand there and watch me and whoever it is.

See why I avoid her?

I justr asked Landlord if I could have a dog for protection and I told him there were questionable happenings here. He got kind of rude about it and said “No. Not here. Insurance purposes…”

But he’s got a stress fracture a good inch wide and a good 3 feet long, in the front vestibule…and the back steps that I am now using to enter and leave is…scary. Needs a painting and he fixes nothing.

That front hall was a pigsty. I had to be the one to vacuum it (Odd neighbor asked me why  I was vaccuming it. WHY as in “Why are you doing it” or why as in “It’s hella clean, why bother?” Good grief, chick…go away!) and this hall reeks of smoke, courtesy of Odd Neighbor.

It took me weeks to get him to get me moulding — the wall to wall was replaced with vinyl tile and there were actual holes in the wall where the carpet was, after the carpet was torn out .

His handimen are not the best. They are no shows or they don’t answer their cells.

Nor are the people in this building.

And I really really want a dog. I can’t go without one.

I am giving serious thought to looking for another place to live, starting in January — it will take me awhile to find a better place.

It would have to be relatively cheap, in a good neighborhood and a dog would have to be permitted and NONE of this pet fee shit, either. Bastards all think every dog is dangerous or bites? Bullshit….CATS are not the greatest to keep around: the apartment will never be free of that cat stink, even long after the cat people are gone. No matter how scrupulous you are about a litter box, you still get that cat smell.

So sorry I came here. And let me guess….

IF I had my dog, I wouldn’t get this shit apartment, either?

I am sad enough he is gone — there is a hole that exists — these people do not get it a dog is a family member.

Going to start looking. Enough is enough and I’ve had it with this place…

And oh yeah, I am not getting all of my mail and nobody can seem to figure that one out, either…

Back into the interview world…

And the lot of you are just as bloody insane as ever, I see.

And perhaps even more so.

5 hours after I left the first interview, my phone rings.

It’s that interviewer.

“Hi, Dude…this is Ms. X from the X company. I’d like to thank you for coming in….”

I can tell by her voice what the deal is.

“Calling to say we hired somebody a little more suitable.”

She spoke the rest of her piece and rang off.

You’re utterly kidding. You are calling me 5 hours after I left your interview to tell me I did not get the job?

How tacky. How uncalled for, how uncouth and how “it’s simply not done and you could have waited until MONDAY!”

Btw, what happened to the second interviews you mentioned, when I was there? I guess that was a lie, too.

Here is what I saw at the interview:

The job was typical office work. The company was a realty company.

The job entailed running what’s pretty much “the whole thing” — this was a 2 person office (excluding the ancient receptionist who misheard my last name albeit I slowly and distinctly pronounced it, within a foot of her).

There was too much work for one person — that “one person” being who is hired for the job.

There is also a mound of paperwork that is attached to the job — mountains of insurance-related paper work and nothing but paperwork surrounding  that?

And when the owners come in, they bring lots of work, more or less. Plus it’s be Ms. X’s assistant. Another 2 fer one job. Wonderful.

The company’s purpose is condo association realty, repairs to the buildings and a third division who builds houses?

Then this company has the bucks. This is a job that should have paid at least 55K as the starting salary, minus experience. For somebody with a good chunk of experience? perhaps 60K — but who knows what they were paying?

This could have been a 30K a year job for all I know.

She also never mentioned the salary to me at any time during the interview. How can I possibly even consider the job if I don’t know what it pays?

(Is this something new: not disclosing the salary? is this now the norm and routine? or is this nondisclosure strictly reserved for those who are not in the running for the job? ) 

And perhaps I earn more right now — a great deal more — than what you are paying! Do not waste the interviewee’s time. Do what they used to do back in the day: state the salary when you run the ad or say what the salary is at the interview.

Called me 5 hours after the interview.

This reminds me of the time bro went to an interview and the next day, in the mail, here’s a rejection letter!

To tell you the truth, I ruled the job out because it would have been an hour and a half commute each way and the job simply was too much work for one person. Considering I didn’t hear anything that even remotely indicated I was a candidate for the job, I thought I was pretty safe to rule out the job, even if it was only on “my” end.

How are you ever a serious candidate if you never are told the salary?  Impossible that you are being considered.  Suppose they call, say you are hired and then they disclose the salary and it is way too low for you to consider? Waste of time all around. I cannot even see a company even doing anything like that.

The interviewer was over 70, also and she said somebody in there is retiring. Wow, how old are you all anyway???

So in essence I was rejected immediately. Who the Christ knows what happened here?

I had a second interview 4 hours later; this was a rep/account executive job.

The place was sad: they just moved into that building and to me, it looks like they can hardly wait to leave. There are 6 reps there now and you can tell by looking that this is perhaps a $15 an hour job.

Guy interviewed me at a conference table where 2 other people showed up after me to interview for the job! He doesn’t have an office or another section of the room where he and I can speak in private???

And you had to see the condition of the other 2 candidates: one was a much older woman who wore white leggings and a shirt that looked like it belonged in the trash. Send that slob HOME!!! HOME! There are inexpensive much more “interview-ey” articles of clothing you can buy in a Sears or a TJ Maxx!

I didn’t like any of this, either…and he also did not tell me what the job paid. He did say that they made X in sales and that the campus had a 3 shift operation (rare these days) — and when I started to ask him more about that, he clammed up and wouldn’t answer any more questions. How peculiar.

These were my first interviews in 13 months.

And what I got was more desolation and phoniness.


What do I do?

Where do I go from here?

And to tell ya the truth, I couldn’t believe it: Ms. X had an intelligent, enthusiastic and efficient candidate right in front of her — you don’t want nice? or decent? or somebody with a proven track record???

And sure, when you talk up your skills, they’re all going to show enthusiasm when they are probably thinking “this stinks. How do I get rid of her?”

How very sad. For her, not for me.

She was not honest, anyway. Was there or was there not a second interview? Got another message completely different when she called to tell me I did not get the job; yes, what happened to “we are having second interviews with the owners of the company”??

And as I said: calling 5 hours later is tacky and just wrong. Wait until Monday: benny of the doubt.

I would also like to know what happened to the usual questions we were asked: Why are you leaving your job? Why did you leave the job before this one? What did you like about your company? What were your duties at your current job/ the job before that? How long were you there? Where were your companies located? Were they large or small companies?  How were you treated by your boss?

You are also no longer asked “can we get you coffee or something to drink?” You are no longer given a tour of the place — this is important to US! We’d like to see who is there and if things are neat and orderly and safe and what we can “pick up” as we make our way through.

A friend of mine is suggesting I call ms. X and ask her “how can I improve for my next interview” — right away they are thinking you are the one who handled it wrong.    She won’t tell me anything and it is likely that if I get her voicemail I will not get a call back. Out of sight and out of mind.

Too much work for that one person and a fleatrap, in that consecutive order. Wonderful jobs in our area. Just Wonderful.

Post Dated Tickets are a Fraud and Farce…and $800+ ticket prices for “Hamilfraudton”….

Part One of this post…..

No Broadway theatre has any intention of honoring a postdate.

What is a postdate?

A postdate is a Broadway show ticket that has not been used by the purchaser on the day of the ticket’s performance.

The idea of it is to permit the patron to use that ticket for any performance available during the run of the show.

The catch is that the patron is to call Tele Charge after 11 on the day of the performance you wish to attend after the date of the original ticket performance has passed. The idea of it is that you are permitted to use that ticket for that day’s performance if space allows.

Sounds good, right?

I am still trying to find a way to see the show before the run of the show ends. I figured I’d see it once more and eat the cost of the second ticket or try to get in to see it for 2 performances, thusly utilizing both postdates.

Sounds easy, right?

Back on April 30, I was told by Tele Charge that I have until October 9 to use the 2 tickets.

I found out by accident that the run of the show is ending on June 26. It was last Wednesday that I found this out.

I have called Tele Charge daily — and on numerous other times since then, asking if the postdate can be honored this evening…

And every time, the answer is no.

Including 10 minutes ago. “No postdates for this run or any show up until Sunday when the show closes.”

If you ask me, I don’t think Tele Charge has any intention of honoring a postdate — I got stuck with my ticket for another show when I found out after the show closed that the show CLOSED.

This also means you cannot go to the theatre, get your 2 hard copy tickets and sell them to somebody on line. The theatre wants to sell 2 fresh and new tickets and make money. NOT let you sell YOURS in front of the theatre. Not honoring postdates so you cannot do that!

Telecharge does not tell you when a show is closing, if you have postdates for that show.

I got a bad nosebleed the day before the performance of American Psycho and I very well could not see the show with packing in my nose and with a sinus headache to boot, thanks to the tampon that was shoved up my right nostril. There was only one ticket. I wanted to see the show and I was going to go by myself. No such luck.

It is a fraud and rip off.

Part 2 of this post:

The $800+ legitimate ticket prices (as in not scalped) for “Hamilton”

You read right! $800+ for a premium seat! and over $100 and more for one of the cheaper seats way up in the never-lands of the theatre.

And the producers had the brass ones to complain about the scalpers? Uh, these ARE now scalped ticket prices! Where is the FTC? Where is the state board that regulates prices for consumers???

Hamil-fraud-ton, as I like to call it, will run indefinitely and these horrifically inflated ticket prices will be the norm.  And no consumer will complain about the price.

The even scarier thing is that there will be some sap ready to fork over the money for the performance and damn the inflated price.

That show can run at least 5 years and I will bet you a billion dollars in profit will be made from this show. A BILLION!

Chicago is running 20 years. Imagine what Hamilfrauditon will rake in over a 20 year period of time!

$800+ for a ticket that’s an orchestra  seat and nobody that’s a huge draw and commands a crush of patrons is in the cast. Sting could not save The Last Ship and who is a bigger name than Sting???

Sad and horrific — if you want to take a date to see the show and eat in the city, expect to fork over half a week’s pay, if you get the cheaper seats. $150 each,  plus a good $100 for dinner, including tip???

No such luck if you wish to take your spouse and kids to see that show. Will cost you a fortune.

And if by chance you cannot make it to the theatre to see the performance, you are shit out of luck for a postdate. Imagine being out $1700 for 2 tickets! Doubtful you will find somebody who can get to you with that cash and pick up the tickets well in advance of the curtain time!

The FTC needs to look into the dishonor of postdates and end these inflated prices. Somebody or someone or some entity is behind these scalped “legit” prices and nobody in charge is ending it.

Screw you, Broadway. That is what I think.

PS, Lin Manuel: Tommy is by far the most original concept for a staged show. Who did this in 1969??? Nobody. Nobody picked up the ball and tried to transition it from concept LP to legitimate rock opera… a rock opera in 1969 -1970, in he midst of 1776 and Oh! Calcutta and Company?

Not likely.

The Orlando shooting

I don’t think we can stop the shootings or “get” the shooters.

Gun control isn’t it. There will be a way to obtain a gun or guns illegally.

Ban a certain religious group? Won’t help. We have plenty of home grown nuts who are shooters.

And we will not ban them or inter them because we will piss somebody off.

They are also a fast growing demographic in the United States. I cannot figure out why: we are a secular nation and this simply is not home to them.

There is something “in us” — we have turned into a divisive and confrontational lot. Who knows why?

It will be the same thing over and over again: “oh how horrible” from person after person who hears or reads about it…the press will run the story and then there will be another shooting somewhere else. Will we get mad enough when the list of those dead is over a thousand? Uh, maybe.

How do we stop these shootings?

I can only guess how.

What I do know is this: if an entity shows up with a weapon and kills 2 or more people, that is a WAR, not just a shooting. We are at war with an unseen enemy: “how to stop the shootings.” And we are at war with every entity who shows up with his bats on for a person, place or thing.

Ole Omar was gay. He was a patron at Pulse quite a few times; he was boisterous and drunk on more than one occasion. The management recognized him.

He also was a regular on gay dating apps.

This was an anti-gay massacre, not an “I support ISIS” massacre. I’ll bet you ISIS doesn’t know Omar from Adam. That he called and pledged solidarity to them? Means nothing.

This was also a massacre of black and Hispanics. Fine young people who were going places…and lo and behold, straight women were in there also. One of them liked Pulse because she could be herself. (and you know how tough it is if you are a single woman and you ‘re looking for a decent place to go on a weekend night; we can’t find anymore places to go, either)
So what do we do?

Plan for the future?

Which way to go or what to do.

I will be 60 in October of next year.

I am guessing you can see which way this is going.

Nothing has turned up in the employment world for me — 2 weeks ago, I tried a bagel/breakfast shop; the “help wanted” sign in the window got me nowhere; never heard from them manager but he’s got all third world help in there…and that’s another story altogether.

The “help wanted” sign still remains in the window. I saw it on Wednesday when I was at the laundromat. (the sign was there for several weeks before I asked about the job so what the eff do these people want??? Are you serious about hiring somebody? or is this a game? Did the manager/owner forget to remove the sign; perhaps the job is taken???)

The full time job ads are few and far in between and I have no idea what criteria they are using to contact those they wish to interview. I heard nothing from the last 2 most recent places I sent a resume to. Those resumes were received end of April. This is now mid-June and nothing. Call to follow up and nobody returns your call. I left messages at both places 2 and a half weeks ago. No call back.

When I called, I was not happy with the way they handed the call. Willing to bet this is another little hole in the wall with employees who have been there since the Nixon Administration. Nothing progressive and nobody educated. Just another bunch of underpaid undermotivated and dumb little workers.

I found no information about them on the net, either. Just a link that gave the phone number, address and company name. There wasn’t even a website for both of them.

I do not know what criteria or qualifications apply anymore or how these hiring managers are deciding who is a candidate. All I know is the resume I used in the past — the resume that got me at least 2 interviews a week and in short time (I’d usually hear from the company anywhere from immediately to a few days after the ad was run) — is getting me nowhere now.

I need a plan for the immediate future.

Opening a small business without using a brick and mortar “headquarters” is iffy and dicey — you don’t have cash flow right away and no telling when you might. It is not a guarantee for “employment”

I have tried running a small business without going the brick and mortar route and have not been successful. I have a lot of artistic talent but wow, how do you get the word out and how do you retain customers?

I did a street fair 2 years ago. I had about 10 visitors over a 2 day span; there looked like there might have been some interest from about 5 of them but nobody ever called me to see about an order.

I did a business breakfast 2 years ago. Mixed and met with about 15 small business owners. Wrote follow up letters. No dice. Probably went into their spam folder.

And even if I had the money for a brick and mortar business — for the heck of it, let’s say that I do and I start that business tomorrow; let’s say I have the place all set up and ready to roll — I don’t even have a guarantee that that business will pay off or be a success. It takes time to build a business and takes time to retain customers and a following.

Even if I started that business tomorrow, they say it takes 3 or 4 years to establish it as a success. That would make me 62 by the time this thing got off the ground. This is the time when people are retiring. What am I supposed to do — work until I am 70 or older, to maybe break even or try to recoup the loss I had from these last many years of no job and that other disaster?

My town now has a lot of small businesses – lots of hair design places, jewelers, small restaurants, dog groomers, bookstores and more — they all seem to be alive. I don’t know about their customer base or how busy they are or what kind of a profit the business is pulling in,  There doesn’t seem to be a lot of companies that go out of business.

And I am supposed to try to see if this thing works for the next 4 years of my life.

Same thing if I signed up for a culinary arts class tomorrow: will anybody hire a nearly 60 year old cook, baker or chef?

You are perceived as not energetic enough to do the job. Sad and true fact. None of us are bronzed in the fountain of youth. We do not look like we are 22 or 23 or even 30. Or even FORTY.

BIG drawback.

And even if I got that bagel place job, I am sure that I will be working with those with a language barrier problem, the job will be very part time and I will be paid in one lump sum, under the table. …and I also can be let go at any time. Maybe an employee’s friend  or relative wants the job or things will be slow or a frigging thousand other things. (you also do not get to speak to the owner when you inquire about the job — lots of these owners possess more than one establishment and he or she may not even live locally! This is no longer the day where the owner slaves tirelessly in that establishment day or night or where his or her teenage kids also work there, too)

My age is now a problem to me.

Oh sure — you see all these stories about people who reinvented themselves and are now doing this or that successfully at a very advanced age. This is not the majority of us! We are in the minority.:(

I have no idea what way to turn or what to do. And I have had enough time pass by.

There are schoolmates of mine who are retiring! Yes, at 58!

Not to mention they are public servants and one has a husband who is a retired municipal cop. I don’t even want to go there on what kind of pensions the 2 of them have coming in between them. hearing she was retiring was like somebody took me and beat the shit out of me in half a second flat: forced to realize that I do not have that kind of wonderful luck — not to mention that I never had a job like that, where your job is solid and you cannot ever be fired —-  and never ever will. You ask yourself why life is like this. And YES you are resentful of these people, as nice as they are and albeit you grew up with them.

Also a painful reminder that seeing this person’s family at a retirement dinner makes you realize you’re screwed on that front, too: my damn brother doesn’t care where I am, or know where I am, or if I am okay — and my family members? 2 cousins, and both at a distance. They are not local. No family no legacy and I am all alone.  I don’t even know if I even have the chance to remarry and to tell you the truth: the thought of dating a guy my age is dismal and distraughtful — are they healthy? Do they have kids who will scream for their inheritance? Are these guys interested in marriage at all, at age 58 and up?


I do not know which way to turn. I am out of ideas and solutions — potential ones, anyway — and none of them is a guarantee.

No ideas, no anything.

No interviews — the last one I had was over a year ago.

And no guarantees.

How sad.

Pray for a miracle — it’s all I can do. I don’t know how or where a full time job or a good plan for the future will turn up for me.  There are not even any companies from past interviews I can call and  more or less revisit and ask if they are hiring. Even former employers are out. There are 2 employers left out of all of them; one of them has a new owner and I have never met the guy. I cannot call and say who I am and can I possibly work there again — I also have not seen a job for that company in years. Possibly 9 or 10 years ago was the last ad that I saw: where are they getting their shop people, their welders and their engineers and where are they getting their office support people, if any of them quit? Not one ad has been in the paper.

I am at a loss.

Any suggestions would be great.

End of an era: goodbye “old friend.”

This is all about the same person I asked about some time ago. I decided not to be party to being lied to and mistreated and decided no to being treated shabbily.

This “friendship” is over.

As per my own request.

Here is what happened:

She had a birthday coming up. About 7 weeks ago I bought a ticket to see a Broadway show. I liked the show and thought that it would be an ideal gift for my friend.

I asked her when she would like to see the show. She picked the date — this past Saturday — and I ordered the tickets. They were at the will-call desk. Which means you pick them up at the box office when you arrive.

I was all set to have a great time in the city.

The last time I talked to her was Thursday of last week. We decided how we’d get into the city. (she ws going to meet me at the PATH).

Zoom ahead to Thursday, about 6:30 pm.

I was in the bathroom cleaning out the tub when I hear my cell phone ringing (I have a landline now and everybody’s been calling here  via the landline so I couldn’t imagine who this was at the end of the line).

I answered the phone.

it was her.

I said hello and I hear her say “I have to go see the baby on Saturday.”

I said “what are you talking about? what baby?” I was thrown wy off base and I had no idea what she was talking about.

And then she explains: her niece went into labor and gave birth on Wednesday — on Saturday the new parents wwere having a meet-and-greet for the new baby (at their home) and my friend said to me “….so I have to be there. I can’t go to the show.”

I blew sky high.  You made plans with me and you have a commitment with me and now you are ditching your plans with me???

More in a bit, but first this backstory:
Bear this in mind: also on the scene — since last June or maybe earlier is my guess — is this creepy guy she was dating a couple years ago. That ended badly; she showed up at my house on a Sunday morning in August, crying copiously and telling me how scared she was. They’d had some sort of fight and she said he gave her a lot of trouble.

I found out on Tuesday — by more or less putting 2 and 2 together during the conversation — that she was seeing “Sam” again. She lied about it at first and when she mentioned “where he works” I put 2 and 2 together and that’s where I lost my S.

She claimed everything was fine and she was in counseling with him, etc. “It’s not what you think,” she said.

What the heck does that mean, exactly???

I said “are you dating this guy?” Pause. “Well, sort of…” No ‘sort of”.  This has to be a fairly serious thing if you are getting counseling together with him. (and rebooting a relationship and getting counseling, with a person who is broken to begin with. Yeah, that sure is promising indeed) 

“BIG MISTAKE” I said to her…which is what I said 2 years ago, too. To this….she said nothing. She said nothing 2 Junes ago, too!!!

Now that you have that backstory, back to Thursday and how she couldn’t go to the show and why….

I got mad. “Wow,” I said, “I went through a lot of time and trouble and now you can’t go? I am inconvenienced! What do I do with the tickets???”

To this she says nothing. She more or less let me yell!

I rang off a short time later.

I called the venue on Saturday. I cannot get a refund; I have to use the 2 tickets sometime before early October.

So now I am stuck with 2 tickets to a show I do not wish to see at this point. I know nobody who wants to go.

While I had her on the line on Thursday, I told her to pay for her ticket — why should she get off scot free, right? She agreed to it.

Fast forward to today:

She emails me and tells me she’s going to send me a check for her ticket. And she signed off with “Love always.”

I waited about an hour and I requested of her that she pay for my ticket, also. (I did this with great reservation — I had no idea if I should or should not ask but heck; I paid for them and what do I do — eat MY $50???))

I did not use my ticket; I do not plan on seeing the show in the future. As I said I do not know if this is out of line to ask her to pay for both…. but then again, why should I eat $50?

She very kindly sent me a one sentence response: “Stop bothering me, you complainer!!!!!”

I did not want to start an email war — but I had to say it — I told her she was acting oddly since Sam arrived back on the scene and that I went through a great deal of time and trouble to arrange a special day for her; I also said that she did not honor her prior commitment with me and that that was out of line.

I also said the tickets were unusable.

She did not hollaback with a reply.

And….that was it.

This is the end of her.

Too many things have happened since January, really — she vanished for about 21/2 weeks right after the new year and she was out of the loop: never called me, no emails.  She did the same thing — vanished — for most of April. I called her and emailed her to say Happy Birthday and never got a reply.

And this is another thing — she has not returned my phone calls nor has she phoned me — and this has been going on since about the first of the year.

On Tuesday I pointed this out about the lax in returning my call — she had nothing to say to any of this.  The disappearing and no phone calls is odd and unsettling. (This almost sounds like the fly by night baloney some uncaring guy would pull on you)

I wonder if Sam is controlling her and there is possible abuse: he has a terrible anger management problem — that is why she called me in a panic that day in August a couple years ago.

I met him 2 or 3 times over the past many years (He was a friend of some former boyfriend of hers so she socialized with Sam and his then-girlfriend a lot; had him up to her house for parties and things like that.) and he did not seem friendly.  A friend of mine saw Sam and her in a mall a couple years ago and Friend said “They did not seem friendly.”

Whether or not Sam is the root cause of her behavior, who knows. I am not God or Father Flanagan or Sam’s case worker,  Sam’s CO or Sam’s shrink. And I am not Kreskin or a mind reader.

But I do know this:

I cannot permit myself to be lied to, treated shabbily, nor can I permit myself to be a Plan B or even a Plan C or Plan D. I refuse to allow myself to be hosed when I and somebody have a commitment to go somewhere or to do something together.  I can’t be anything less than a good friend that somebody is interested in being friends with.

I am not used goods or a tenth fiddle.

If I “keep her around”  I will get more of the same — the treatment will worsen. This is a fool me twice thing now, if I do stay around.

And I cannot trust her now: who knows what will be a lie or will be the truth???

Email her in a couple weeks to say ‘goodbye”??? Meh.

So so sad. I have not had a good many last years and I am still worn out from last year’s partition.

I am upset because my bench is not deep. I have never had a large circle of friends; I have a small one…but the circle seems to be decreasing more and more. Wow; my own brother doesn’t care to know where I live.:( How sad is all of this???

I was always envious of the girls who have had a “neat” friend since grammar school — they are friends allll the way up until now; were in each other’s weddings, there when the y each had kids and so on and so forth. I never had that kind of a friend. Never ever.

And are still friends now — their KIDS are marrying; they also became grandparents together with the “neat” friend! All of their kids got married the same time…and had children the same time!

My bench isn’t deep but I will not settle for less than the best when it comes to a friend. Let this chick keep it. She’s in the wrong… and if this thing crashes and burns with Sam again — as I suspect it will — up yer hole with a mello roll; I will not be available for you, former friend..



Meanwhile, back at the apartment hunting ranch….

Not going well.

Here is the thing — I have mentioned this before — now it’s like trying to find a job.

The landlord wants your financial info and your employment info and they want a credit check.

I think I got bait and switched today.

I saw an apartment for rent and after I spoke to the guy and set up an appointment to see the place, I figured the rent was a touch too much but I thought I’d go to see what happens.

I saw the apartment — a scootch too much room for me (all I want is a 3 roomer or a studio).

When I spoke to the guy via phone I told him I was leery of the credit check along with the other personal info asked for: I told him I was afraid of identity theft and I had a means to prove I could pay the rent, up front.

He assured me that only that piece of info would be fine…

And hence the bait and switch. He gets done with the apartment tour and he says “Oh well there will be a credit check and you’ll have to sign a lease…”

I explained again why I would not be parting with my personal info and then he said “We had this guy who wanted to rent. He made over 100K a year but he didn’t pay his gas and electric…”

So what? Maybe it was an oversight or perhaps he had an assistant he entrusted tht to and somehow the utility never got paid; maybe he had a boyfriend or girlfriend who was supposed to be in charge of paying the bills and the payment never happened, etc.

I told him I wasn’t interested and I said goodbye.

Leery is right.

The landlord was not on premise. How about I meet this person first? Suppose after all fo this nonsense I don’t like the landlord?

How do I know how safe my info is? How do I know this guy won’t compromise it?

This is all too much.

I have to get out of here; I cannot continue to live here; it’s too expensive and I told you guys: I am isolated and there are no neighbors and the fact my dog is gone is creating even a bigger emptiness here for me.

I also would not need the place for a year, as it stands right now. I am not crazy about being locked into a lease.

Possibly baited and switched. Maybe he said okay to what I wanted to do to get me to come out there. I don’t know.:(

Rejected immediately upon sight….why?


This is apparently the nucleus of my problem.

I am called as I am waiting to be interviewed. I get up, I say hello to the interviewer, that person does the same, we sit down and….

Usually within 7 minutes, the interview is over.

Or rarely, I get small talk, some information about the job and then the interviewer fills the rest of the interview time with catch me all go-through-the motions, information. And then the interview is over.

I never hear from these people again.

I can’t name the last time I had a real interview.

I am asked nothing but very general questions…and that is if they ask me anything at all.

Usually it’s “Hello; I’m Mr. Jones and nice to meet you. Well, here is what the job consists of…”  He gives me a description of the job that is being offered (like he’s reading the ad back to me) maybe some small talk about the benefits and then it’s “Well, thanks for coming in. We will let you know.”

If you are dismissed immediately: to me, this can mean only one thing: they do not like your looks.

I am not frightening. I am near 60 and I don’t know  what it cold be– is it my haircolor? ( It was too red and too phoney — I changed it back to what I more or less originally had) Is it what I wear? (I dress neatly and in interview attire)

I guarantee you I am not a blimp. I am not in the greatest of shape but a Sherman tank I am not.

I’ve got bags under my eyes that I can’t seem to  diminish, no matter what I try — I don’t know; maybe they think I get no sleep or I don’t look well — for love of God, I am out of answers and I have no idea why I am rejected immediately, when they see me.

And it is not a race or creed or religion factor.

ANd it is not a marital factor.

Nor do I wind up disclosing information about my family. Shit, nobody asks questions like that anymore. That usually happened in the 1980s.

I would not run an interview as a contest to see who ahs the best clothes or best figure or who is handsome or not. What’ sgoing on here?

The close second:

They want a much younger candidate.

The people who interview me are older — much older than me — maybe they figure a kid is easier to handle and easier to intimidate — I even tried to hide my age on my resume; I used a shortened form of my name so they can’t match my age to the decade my first name was popular in.  On my resume, I’ve also used my first 2 initials and my last name istead of my first and last name.

I cannot seem to get past “hello” and “if” I do, I never warrant a genuine interview. Like I said, it is small talk and then a “nice meeting you” and that’s all I get.

I can’t seem to avoid being dismissed. I don’t know what is wrong here. Ha; we can’t even blame this on better competition or “some other factor.”

Are there jobs available where specifically an older person would be welcome — or more or less required??? and  desired even more so than somebody even a decade younger?  “Mature” candidates? That’s a meaningless wording in a job advertisement.

I will be 60 in a bit more than a year and a half from now.  (and I don’t  believe I just said that.)

How can I end this turned-away-immediately pattern?

Does anyone know?

The rare interviews — I had ONE last year!! — is being destroyed by this turned-away nonsense. I need a cure all for this.

So…where did all of the job ads go?

A friend of mine and I were discussing this today.

There is simply nothing at all in my daily paper or in the Sunday ads and there is nothing on line for our local want ads from the same publication.

I can name you at least 20 occupations that do not have job ads posted and have not had job ads posted in the last year: Med tech, radiology tech, respiratory tech, admin assistant, welder,  shipping manager, shipping clerk,  office manager, dental hygienist, exec admin, receptionist, welder, machinist, accounting assistant, bookkeeper, CAD/CAM operator, chemist, purchasing assistant, paralegal, and telemarketer.

And the rest….I don’t know about….

If you are an engineer, involved in some sort of medical research or in some other specialized field, where do you go to find another job? Do they resort to a trade magazine or what?

We used to have ads for many medical positions — all of the local hospitals were advertising for just about everything you can name that was “hospital”, including the support staff — even those jobs are gone, too?

It is sign of the times in lots of hospitals — many are down to 1 pathologist and one who “cover” when that one is away, off duty or what have you — because the trend is towards outpatient surgery. Need for less medical support staff, etc…

But surely the local hospitals have personnel who have resigned or retired — there aren’t even any ads for the dreaded 12-7 am shift — usually those jobs were impossible to fill; nobody wants to work the lobster shift. There are no per diem jobs posted. Not all of those jobs have gone to visaed employees.

The “Factory lab jobs” are not hiring: no LabCorp, no Quest Diagnostics — no med techs are quitting their jobs? ALL of these jobs are reliant upon imported workers??? The odds of that are pretty shitty, no???

(I also heard today that Quest Diagnostics in Teterboro — formerly MetPath Labs — is shutting their operation in that building. This is a yowlingly huge plant — running 3 shifts….or was running 3 shifts, last I heard,  ad was teeming with staff, last I heard — at any rate, even if there are 100 med techs left in that lab…now where do they go to find jobs? I do not know if there is another lab for that company in the area: There is a building that’s got Quest’s name on it, in Lyndhurst — but I do not know what staff is working there: it could be administrative or data or anything BUT medical technologists.

I am sure it is just that building…if that lab, period, is going out of business…what the xyz happened to that company????)

Everything seems to have vanished. The only admin jobs I see are for jobs in Korean owned companies; they require the applicant to speak and write fluent Korean. (this is another very large contingency that is moving into our area; a hospital in that area has found their ace in the hole: make the hospital Korean-friendly: offer Korean speaking staff, Korean meals, etc.)  It’s the same with all of the jobs these Korean companies are posting ads for: bookkeepers, accounting staff and so forth: must speak Korean.

They are telling us we’ve hired X number of people a month and the job outlook is good.

Where are all the ads for these jobs? All of them hired from within or posted ads in trade mags or hired temps that were once temporary?

Somebody is always quitting or retiring and yes, believe it or not there are companies that are expanding.

Where did all the job ads go???

Hm….very very odd (a “personal” event, not job related)

Since I am just bears and aces for odd happenings today —- wow, that blizzard was brutal and it’s depressing enough that it hit us — try this on for size:

I have a friend I will call Jane. Jane and I have known each other over 2 decades.

She is prone to being a little bizzare but I think this one took the cake:

She seems to have vanished without a sound.

The last time I heard from Jane was maybe a week and a half ago. I do not see her very often; I do not get to hear from her by phone often (and this is annoying too becaue I will leave a message saying hi and she never rings back). I usually hear from her from her workplace; she will email a few times a week and vice versa.

I sent her an email last Monday — there was a little sale and I picked up a buy one the other half off ; I figured I’d give the other one to jane — I told her I had a little something for her and added some small talk and got no reply. I figured she was busy with work or what not. Who reads into that, right?

I didn’t think of this  no reply stuff until maybe Friday — I emailed asking “where are you” and I left a message on Friday asking her if she was okay being the storm kicked in….

No hollaback….

The storm came and went — and no Jane.

She will pull these little “leave of absences” every so often; it is odd and I am not crazy about any of it.

And now I am wondering given all of these oddities, maybe I should let well enough alone and lave well enough alone: do not contact her again.

End this bent — and now what looks to be one sided — friendship[ right here; there are people I know who have done the same: they housecleaned. They got sick of being the pariah, the straight woman, the second or third or fourth fiddle, or tired of being the complaint department, got tired of being the one who had to call them first, etc — they simply houseclean and that is the end of the “friendship.”

Something happened a few months back — I won’t go into detail but I feel like she hocked me into doing it — and I never got a thank you for my efforts.

I find this disappearance odd inasmuch as that we just had that horrifc snowstorm — she knows I more or less am alone back here — where I am living is very isolated and it was downright frigging spooky here when that storm kicked in — and that I do not run with many people — and I never once heard from her at all.

And when she cries over whatever it is and you are there when she cries? Shit, it’s like she expects YOU to fix whatever is wrong right on the spot.

THis is why I am saying this is a disappearance. Fuckall, everybody’s got a cellphone — even her — so there is no reason and no excuse for not calling.

And no. Nothing “happened” to her. Unless you are at death’s door and you positively and absolutely are unable to USE a phone? This is a disappearance.

I refuse to call her again. “You left one message on Friday saying you hope she is safe and secure” — that is what I said, right? And even still, no call back?

Don’t settle for the crumbs or fish where the fishing isn’t good. That is my take on it.

What happened to her and why I am evidently being frozen out, who knows. Did somebody else get into the mix? who knows. Did she start seeing that crazy guy again…and maybe she doesn’t want me to know, and she covered her footprints and footsteps simply by deciding not to speak to me anymore? Who knows. Who knows what it is and who cares.

No more calls and no more emails to Jane. End of story.

Who knows what happened here?  it’s irrational and it is crazy — to me, if you are a full grown adult and you are upset at something a friend said or did:

You have it out with the friend.

You don’t just take off and more or less emotionally blackmail the other person. It’s also juvenile and bullshit:: you vanish and not tells this person how mad you are?

What can I tell you?

Time for a couple new friends. Get a full grown adult who is a great deal more broadminded. You don’t need this kind of scene.

Hello from me

Haven’t been here for awhile; thought I’d check in to see what’s doing and to report what’s new.

Nothing really is new. The partition wrapped up and was over back in September.

How has everyone been?

(where I am living is a little unnerving today — we are in the midst of that hellacious blizzard and where I am living is more than a bit isolated. I am trying to “keep moving” so this doesn’t turn into a chapter of the Shining.)

I hope to be out of here soon and living in a real place, where there are neighbors and everything.

My poor dog went home to his reward around Christmastime. He got sick out of nowhere — he had kidney failure and I knew this back in July.

The vet thinks it might have been a lymphoma — he developed a cough that I did not like and at the end, he refused to eat.

He also developed a nasty swelling underneath his jaw; originally I thought it was abscess — he is nearly 14 and may have a bad tooth back there; a week later, after antibiotics, I felt the area and a lump was still there…and one on the other size also.  Swollen glands despite no fever is bad news.

The cough was some sort of lung involvement, either from the lymphoma or some other issue. That he coughed upon arising from a prone position suggested something that was blocking his lungs or windpipe.

Between July and the end of December, he’d lost 15 pounds — and about 7 of them during the last 2 weeks of his life.

I miss the dog but I cannot possibly get another dog until I move on to a real place to live.

Still applying for jobs — there have been a few ads but nothing promising — and you all remember that “job fair” I went to over a year ago — the company just moved to the town it was in and they were looking to add about 5 or 6 more people?

They said that only 28 people currently worked there. Perhaps 20 cars were in their lot that day.

I took a ride past their building yesterday….and the lot is full of cars. There had to be about 100 cars in the lot versus maybe 15 on the day I went to the job fair — so this is 75 more jobs added in 15 months? Strong.:(

The last time I was in that area was maybe summer — there is an outlet store across the street and I don’t recall noting that a trillion cars were in that parking lot.

I am wondering if the cars are those of just that company or if the building is being shared by another company.

If it’s not “another company” when the heck did this company add all of thjose jobs??? None of the jobs open were made public, either. THis sucks for us — again, we are shit out of luck.

Other than that, nothing new.

My home is gone; it was razed 2 weeks ago by the developer. I stopped past and took photos; I will also return to sprinkle some of my dog’s ashes there. He loved his “newspaper” that used to be out front of the house.”

So….we are expecting who knows how many refugees…..

2 words:

A nightmare.

And a nightmare in every way:logistically, financially and security wise.

There is a town in Germany, population 102, who was told to expect 800 brand new imported residents.

And this is like it or not.

Where does a tiny little town — that might be sandwiched between several other town, and tightly, put 800 people?

They probably have a school the size of 2 2 family homes put together — where do they put new students! Certainly these illegals are coming in with kids!

They also do not speak English. That’s now the official language of the EU, correct?? . How is it that they are pemitted to live there?  You can just walk in and that’s the end of it??? Aren’t there rules and other channels and interviews and such? I guess that was just eliminated

Picture the population of your town and multiply it by 8…and then use that number and apply it to the Syrian influx you are going to get.

Picture that number moving in to yoru town where there is hardly room for other people…and picture *8 times* your school populations coming into our schools. I guess now they will be getting bilingual Arabic teachers, too???? And we get to expand the schools and add more teachers, too? Who pays for that, us again?

it is all a trickle down effect.

They are contributing nothing to their new town, new country and new community: they keep to themselves and surely they must be uneducated and skillless — yet the US of A has a plan to put these people to work, more or less — giving them working status??

They do not speak English. Not trained and cannot read; at best, they will get menial jobs and probably those that pay them under the table…and that’s if anybody wants to hire them. There is enough animosity already; nobody wants this bunch.

In this morning’s Bergen Record, we have this — and get ready for this eyeful:

“Refugees cannot pick which country to settle in. If they’re taken to the United States, they get placement services from one of nine non-profit agencies. An agency moves them to an area with decent job or housing opportunity, or where they may have relatives, with input from refugee coordinators in state governments.

“The federal government provides $1,900 per refugee, but they’re required to pay back the government for air travel to the United States. The goal is for them to be self-sufficient in 90 days. Their refugee status entitles them to work. A year after they arrive, they can apply for a green card. Five years later, they are eligible to apply for citizenship.”

Preference is being given to female head of households, homosexuals and those in need of health care! Huh??? Ellis Island would turn you away and send you back if you came here with a communicable disease!

And there is no such thing as a female head of household in these Muslim countries — you are more or less thrown away if you are a widow — and to admit you are gay, in a Muslim country???? You’ll probably suffer dire consequences! Gays *do not exist* in Muslim countries!  They will say they are gay, are a victim of violence or a widow with a family! They’ll be allowed in no questions asked.

Are they planning on following up on these new residents of our country? Not likely.

I will bet the youths fall in with street gangs. Its going to be just like that bunch from Vietnam that we took in awhile ago.

All of this is a done deal:

Governors saying “we don’t want them” won’t mean SHIT. It’s take them and like it and too damn bad.

We do not know what we are getting.

They could be mentally ill, have drug and alcohol problems, be pregnant, have communicable diseases,  problematic in school, hooked into gangs and other organized crime groups (not just terrorists exists in these countries), are drug runners or have a police record a mile long.

We do not know what we are getting and for that reason, do not take them. Let the tired and the poor and those who yearn to be free stay HOME. Sorry, but we cannot accommodate you.

This bunch will go straight to GA — and who is there to translate for THEM??? Those offices are packed to the brim now and yes, nice middle class people are part of the scene….

Andnot to mention this bunch is given worker status????

No English and they do not read or write and they have no skills or education! What jobs do you expect to hire them for??

And if they DO have an education and skill, you mean to tell me they are given first preference for a job WE may be competing for????

NO to this bunch. It’s OVER. And so is the free lunch and free everything else!

Done and out….

And it was a  brutal  brutal experience.

I was still throwing garbage and other items out (and taking them to storage) up until the time I was supposed to be out.

It was a shame — there was furniture that I could not sell or give away — it wound up being carted away by theDPW (and did I get a dirty look from them when they showed up). I did manage to give away the sofa and loveseat; some guy and his wife came and took it away in a truck.

For now I am in a hotel because I could not find an apartment that will accept a dog!  This is 2015 and this kind of entality still exists.  There is the next dog friendly town about 3 miles from here but the rents are much too high for me.

I have to chase Bro in court for the damages; I am awaiting his address (the law firm that did the closing has his address) so I can get the proceedings underway.

The final tally for back property taxes was ab out $9200.

if I had to do it all over again: Sell this house outright — and hired another realtor. The one I had wasn’t all thqat great — she was the one who told me to “Sell everything you have and b e ready to move out after Labor Day” and suggested I give away my dog, to get rooms faster.

This was a suck azz and rotten experience and I felt like I got treated like a common criminal.  (Yeah, this from the person who sent me the wrong info in the email and did not proofread it before she hit send. Lots to b e desired.  Not quality help)

Bro was 90 minutes late for the closing — he called and told them he was delayed somewhere. 3pm is 3pm and you are to BE THERE.

My goal right now is to find a permanent place to live. What I have seen so far are dumps and the landlord wants a fortune for these crappy rooms. I may have to look into the shore area or something further out.

That damage money was supposed to be held in escrow. that did not happen in the end and I am still pretty pissed.  Then again , I am wondering if the escrow withhold would have worked in my  favor abnd accomplished what I wanted “faster.”

(and I think this atty is po’d that I did not hire him for my next endeavor. Another long story and I did not get what I paid for this go round)

What happened here???

The house is sold. We had 2 oil tanks to be removed before we could close on the house.

The buyer sent a tester for soil back in June. The soil came up positive for oil.

Removed the tanks (this was about 3weeks ago) and the close date was postponed pending Test #2 from soil 22 feet down — right near the bedrock.

The close date was projected to  be about August 22.

The soil test came up negative.

Here is the fun part:

Via an email from the realtor, sent to my atty (2 days ago) who forwarded it to me this past Monday, here is what I find out:

The soil report goes to the state and 2 weeks after that report is received by the state, we close.

The email then said that bro was all set to move out and “Dude has over 2 months to move.”

Today I called the realtor to ask her if she found any places for me to live — my dog is ill and has kidney failure; I need a place where dogs are accepted.

Realtor to me: Yes we have to get you moving right away.
Me, dopily: Moving right away? what do you mean? I have over 2 months left until I move out.
Realtor: No you don’t.
Me: Yes, I do — you said so yourself, via an email you sent Mr. G…
Realtor: I don’t remember an email like that…
ME: I will read it to you…(I get email and I read her the entire copy) and that’s what you said 2 days ago, via my atty. I have over 2 months to move.
Realtor: Oh. I sometimes write like that. You have 2 weeks to get out, not 2 months.


You “sometimes write like that” and this is your egregious error….and now I am in a jam, because of YOU???

She did not apologize for the error or say much at all. WOW — how could you make such an error!

I’m telling her that I am not ready to move yet and why did she even say it at all, that I’ve got over 2 months to move out…I went on and on like some kind of moron — she never apologized!!!! and holy crap, the suggestions I got:

1-Give away my dog.

2-Move in with somebody. “Maybe you can go to CA with your cousin you mentioned; sell all of your furniture in 2 weeks…It’s like a vacation when you go out there!”

“I can put you in an apartment for a year but you have to pay the entire 12 months up front. You haven’t got a full time job and they want paystubs and a credit report…”

Uh huh — that is 22 grand of my money and suppose the landlord isn’t the greatest or things go unfixed or something happens on his end? “Oh you will have to eat it…”


A landlord may not even approve of such an arrangement! That would be full of liability for me, if I was the landlord. I’d say no!

HOW could the both of you made such an egregious error??? She got it all wrong and ATTY didn’t even READ HER ERROR????

I called Atty. “Oh yeah I just saw that email just now…” HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE MUCH TO SAY! HE SHOULD BE STARK RAVING MAD…

And he didn’t even NOTICE the error she made when he got her email??? How is it you never noticed that, Atty?HOW???

what do I do with these 2? Fire their asses? String ’em up by their thumbs? Try her as a witch and then burn her at the stake and run him outta town on a rail?!

How could they both fark this up and fark this up so badly that it’s mind blowing???

As of right before I called realtor this afternoon at 2pm, is that I had over 2 months to move out — and suppose I did not call her today…or at any time from here and now until September 1???? I get a big surprise when the developer-buyer shows up here and has equipment with him or whatever he does for step one of razing a house???

I would like to revoke her commission and tell ATTY to shit in his hat and not pay him at all. What a fuck up and what a MAJOR MAJOR one!!!

My cousin from CA says “Stay there and let the buyer evict you” — holy crap, none of this advice is good! I had the realtor tell me “give away your dog…sell all of your furniture and move to CA and it’ll be like a vacation for you…” Woman, are you THIS dumb, really??? ARE YOU???

This is bad news, all around. HOW can anybody be this stupid?

Apartments yielded nothing on my own end. Nobody much within reasonable distance is advertising something I can afford. And I sure don’t believe nobody wants to take a tenant with a dog.

I also do not buy it that nobody will rent to somebody who can pay cash up front, employed, self employed per diem seasonal or OTHER.

Atty is telling me to try Jersey City and Hoboken! Jersey City is expensive and Hoboken is out of my reach!

This is a mess and a fark up and big time.

I don’t have any more solutions.

And suppose I tell the landlord I am a displaced divorcee (say my husband and I just split up and the last job I had was 14 years ago and I was a homemaker all along until we split up) or that I am retired??? Suppose I show the landlord what my bank account balance is, right after the sale closes and I get my share of the proceeds??? Going to have a problem believing me when I say I can pay? Very doubtful.

What a mess. And a big one.

I’m not the only jerk that did it…check this out…

I am guessing by “partner” the writer of the letter is romantically entwined with this deadbeat. How oh so familiar this scenario is:

Dear Amy: I’m struggling with how to address financial issues with my partner. When he first moved in with me, I was assured that it would be a partnership.

He made no efforts to contribute to the monthly maintenance costs and only after arguing about it did my partner take over paying for the cable/Wi-Fi.

While I endure stress to save and manage bills and real estate taxes, my partner clearly stated that this wasn’t his problem.

Yes, I own the apartment, but how did I suddenly get stuck with 99% of the responsibility for living in a home, and how is this considered a partnership”

If we were renting somewhere, would I get stuck with the majority of the bills? I feel taken advantage of while I spend every day working to make sure that at least one of us has the fiscal health to keep a roof over our heads. When I try to discuss this, he argues and complains about how I make more money than he does. Mind you, my “lifestyle” includes wearing the same two pairs of jeans and sneakers that are 10 years old, spending on bills first and saving for occasional dinners out.

I just feel like I’m enabling someone who can’t get his finances together, and then I get attacked for being a jerk when I bring it up. I can’t win this argument and my partner sees nothing wrong with it.

How should I bring this up? What can I do? — Frustrated Enabler

Dear Enabler: Before your guy moved in with you, you say you “were assured” it would be a partnership. Who, exactly, assured you? Was this an assumption on your part? And how do you each define a partnership?

You would gain clarity by seeing an accountant together. You should each bring your pay stubs, monthly bills, expenses, and a credit report. There should be transparency regarding income and debts and he should contribute in proportion to his income.

I assume he would refuse to participate in this process, because making you feel bad makes economic sense for him, enabling him to kick the problem down the road until this boils over again.

Your real issue is not financial but relational. If you are not able to work together to arrive at an equitable partnership, you should consider finding another roommate.

Cannot reach this one particular attorney…anybody have any suggestions???

I do not wish to give away much of a backstory or front story, since I’ve already been through the wringer and I don’t to disclose too many more private details.

Here is what is happening:

I need to reach this one particular attorney — who I will call Mr. Smith (so he doesn’t get confused with my atty, who is also part of this story), in regard to an issue that more or less has to do with my future.

This thing started on May 28 and it’s now July 11 and I still don’t have an answer from Mr. Smith.  All he needs to do is examine data and the data is readily available. It should not take long for a yes or a no. I should have had an answer by June 5. Splitting the atom is not involved.

I spoke to him on the 28 of May at his office . Mr. Smith assured me he’d have an answer relatively quickly. A second person is also involved and Smith said he’d speak to “Jim” and discuss  with Jim what I wished to do.

10 days went by. No word from Smith. He did not reply to my atty’s emails, either.

I called Smith on June 8 and told him I was awaiting his reply and decision.  He never called me.

2 more weeks went by; now it is June 22. I left another message and said I still needed to know whether it was yes or no.

Nothing. Not a call, not an email, not a word. My atty did not get a reply, either from Smith.

On June 30, I drove to Smith’s office (a good 70 miles from here); I arrived at 3:00 — since he met with me at 4:30 the last time I needed to see him, I stayed around until 5. The office was closed and nobody was on site. I figured I’d wait for him.

As I was all set to leave, my atty phoned me. He said he heard from Smith and he woud call me later on.

I heard from Smith the next morning. “Refesh my memory what’s going on…” Refesh your memory?!  I already got kind of pissed –I lost FOUR WEEKS of time!!! He should have had a decision for me!!! (if you ask me that “refresh my memory” is bunk — he tried to cover for not replying to me long before he finally called me back on June 30 — Smith knew the entire time what the story was. Man.)

And what happened to JIM??? I didn’t even get a phone call from Jim anywhere during the time span of May 28- June 30! Didn’t Smith even mention what I wanted to Jim at all???

I had to recant the whole story to Smith. He assured me he would let me know if it is yes or no in a few days and what I was asking sounded like a good idea and that all he had to do was call Jim and then Smith would let me know if it is yes or no…….

And here it is, nearly 2 weeks later.. and I still cannot reach Mr. Smith. I did not hear from Jim, either.

He has no admin on site in his office. The admin who works for him is either part time or telecommutes, I think.

Whenever I call the office, all I get is voicemail. Nobody “live” ever gets the phone.

He’s got another attorney who shares the office (and he said he was covering for that atty since he is on vacation — but still…wow,, who doesn’t return a call in a reasonable amount of time???)

I don’t know whether Smith is part time, semi retired or what, but how long CAN you go without returning somebody’s call within a reasonable length of time???

(and I still do not know if Jim knows or not what’s going on! I never heard from him — which means I am being disregarded by Jim…or maybe Jim has no clue I requested what I requested!)

I sent a certified mail letter to Jim, telling him what I just told you guys — I did not load it up with a lot of conjecture; just the facts — and I asked Jim to call me asap and for him to give me his decision; I told him that I am under a severe time constraint and I need a yes or a no immediately.

That’s a long story why I don’t have anther phone number for him or email addy (Smith says that the number I have — I think it is a cell phone and not a landline —  is the only number he has for Jim. Not possible— how does Smith reach Jim, then??? When I call the number I have for Jim, I get a recording that goes “the mailbox is full; please enter your password…” That is all I have ever gotten when I’ve dialed that number. Something is flim flammy with that telephone number. Not possible your phone is out of commission since I’ve had that telephone number you gave me.

What’s going on here? Why hasn’t either person called me to let me know if it is YES or NO???? No reply from either party!

I cannot see how you can conduct business like this or leave somebody hanging regarding a vital issue.

Does anybody have any suggestions?? I can’t seem to get the ball moving on this and I need an answer now.

Post sale of house…here comes the fallout…from a friend, yet…

Sometimes I feel like I am listening to a 9 year old girl.


Here is the problem…and the problem is the way my friend E. is acting.

She knows the whole kit and caboodle of what happened here.

Mind you, she has always been touchy about money — commenting on who at her workplace has what house, who is driving around in what car and how much her coworkers earn (this is public service and she knows what their salaries are). Who cares and why is this so irritating to her?

She’s been like this for as long as I’ve known her. Maybe I should have realized the squeeze was not worth the juice and ditched her back then.

Yesterday I mentioned that I might take a trip to see a cousin of mine — he lives out in California.

“You must have an awful lot of money if you are talking about taking all these trips.”

I blew sky high — I didn’t care who on that boardwalk bloody heard me — ha, they probably heard me clear across the water to Coney Island somewhere — and I said, “This again from you??? Suppose I tell you HE is paying for the TICKET???” (Cuz offered pay for my expenses to and from; “door is open and let me know if you’re coming to see me; I’ll pay for the ticket to and from”)

My goodness — didn’t we get quiet. I flat out told her if she made a comment like that again, the friendship will be over.

I said “I went through a lot this past decade; I lost a job and I gave up a lot of blood sweat and tears to get Bro out of the picture…” She has to “match” me and go “Oh so did I…I go through a lot at work and I lost a job, too…”

Ever feel like just turning around and leaving somebody right there?

I said “how much money do you think I am getting from the sale of this home? You think it’s a mansion???” To this, she looks down at the floor.

%&*%&#$ if I have to justify this to her or anybody.

This isn’t the first time she’s said something like this — she’s done it in the past more than one time. But yet she gets all touchy if somebody comments about what she is driving ,etc. it’s like she is taking this out on me.

I am seriously rethinking the friendship. I already have enough on my hands and the next thing I am grappling with is where to live — suppose I find a for-cheap house I can rent or maybe even buy? (it would have to be a tiny little house with maybe 6 rooms in it on a tiny piece of property; we still have quite a few of fhem left that fit into that category and that’s the only house I’d consider buying; I might even luck out and be able to get some kind of a loan to buy it) It’s account to her for what I am renting/paying for it?? What good is this to me?

I feel like I am living in a glass box.

The house has sold: 99% of the way through with BRO!

It’s 99% official…

I am done with Bro.

I say 99% done because the house has sold (the close is not until mid-September) but I am still going to go after Bro for damages.

The amount of “back taxes” he rang up, plus the cost of the oil he did not put in the tank for 8 years plus my legal fees plus my closing fee. Those are the damages

It is a pretty hefty amount of money.

I have to sue him separately for that.

That amount is going to be held in escrow upon closing. Boy is he in for a big surprise.

Considering he paid home owners insurance from late 2013 up until march of this year ,  taxes for this house for 2 and one half quarters (more on that in this post later) and the water, I prob ably owe him about 4 grand tops. Big deal.

We had 18 groups of people come to look at the house. 6 groups were families, a single woman, or a couple with an elderly mother — the other 12 were developers.

And that is who bought this house: a developer.

Bro signed at the start of last month after the written offer came in; I held out because I was trying to get this house reassessed. There is turn of the century woodwork here and a cove ceiling and you do not find that in any homes anywhere today. Plus this house is on a double lot and double lots no longer exist in this town at all.

I also considered buying him out.

I held off signing until I had all of this investigated — if I b ought him out, I’d have to be on the hook for a jawshattering amount of money. I’d have to fix a bum roof, tear down a garage, fix and tear down a back porch, get the furnaces replaced and many more: NOT worth it.

I signed a week and a half ago. And between the time he signed and I signed, hoo boy—what a pity. I got cursed out by Bro, screamed at by his damn live-in (this, in front of people who were interested in buying!! Holy crap, it never ends) and more or less pressured to sign.

He’s been giving me the cold shoulder and ignoring me for about 3 weeks now. I am wonderin g if they were considering a home but missed out because there was no signed contract and his money for the down payment was contingent upon a signed contract and close date. Well, tough. I was trying to perhaps get us a better deal. I did NOT give him any of this info.

I have been “Free” of Bro for about a week now.

And guess who is stuck cleaning out the basement by herself. What a lousy little rat xyz.

There is a gripload of items that his live-in has downstairs and that shit has been in the basement for 11 years — it has been here since she moved in that first time. When she moved out, she didn’t take anything with her. I told him a zillion times MY basement is not her storage bin and all I would get is yeah yeah yeah…just like I got yeah yeah yeah to the oil that he never put into that tank.

Regarding the damages:

I will give him hell in court.

N O way can a judge tell me “oh families throw around money” – that little piker never contributed ONE CENT between August of 2005 and August of 2013 – I pulled the plug on him on Labor Day weekend of 2013 after we had that showdown —I made sure that was the LAST showdown ever —  and that was when I started to get the ball rolling to legally get him out of here.

I have 5 pounds of paperwork – every single check I have written from March of 2005 up until October of 2013 that plainly states that I PAID EVERY SINGLE QUARTER OF TAXES. Bullshit; he cannot say he gave me cash and I gave NO RECEIPT. I will swear under every oath that what I am saying is the truth.

And the fact that this house is in tax arrears to the tune of $6200 shores up my argument.

Here is what he paid, between September 2013 and May of 2014:

Bro paid house taxes — half a quarter in October of 2013 (after that town punk moved in with him) and 2 quarters’ worth after that — February and May of 2014. That is the 6200 in arrears for taxes — August of 2014 up to May of 2015.

That was the end of any taxes paid for this property. I could not afford to contribute and he simply did not want to.

I think he paid that 2 and a 1/2 quarters for appearances to maybe show the little lady he was living with how responsible he could be. Werk.

So who is he kiddin g that he has consistently been diligent and ON TIME with payments for taxes??? He just blew his argument to hell!!! He refused to pay any more after May of 2014 probably because I was suing him and he figured wtf and why should he bo ther…”when this house sells, the town will collect the arrears from the sale.”

These are the only 3 checks he has to back up what he paid fo, during those 21/2 quarters of taxes. After that, as I said, he paid nothing.

He was supposed to go to his bank and produce the same kind of evidence — v ia copies of checks he has written —to prove he paid his share of taxes, homeowners insurance and for his half of the water bill — (there’s only one water meter)  but funny how he never came up with that documentation.

That alone cost me a good $1200 — to attain copies of those checks, for all those years. To prove he did not pay a dime.

99% over. And it has been hell. I paid for all of this in more than legal fees: it was in blood and sweat and tears also. I paid many times over for what happened here. And my only regret is that I didn’t get rid of him when this house came into the picture. Own NOTHING with anybody…not even a spouse.

Still here

The house is about to go up for sale. it was like pulling teeth to get him to agree to it. There was another whole big scene and I had to fight to get him to agree to sell.  That was 2 days ago.

The contracts from the realtor are ready. Having my atty take a look at it first.

I am still going to chase Bro for damages. I am tacking on all my legal fees in addition to the amount he owes me. Tough if he doesn’t like it.

The job market still stinks by us. There is literally nothing and has not been for months, unless you speak Korean, Japanese or French. the admin jobs are fewer and further in between. I am still looking for a job, believe it or not.

I am hanging in there otherwise. Nothing else much is new. I am hoping to try welding school when the home sells and I get the money from the sale.

Bro and the gf fight often. It was so loud and so out of hand during the last fight that I told Bro that gf was out of control. (This was the next day) He told me to mind my business. I said “If it involves a child in my home, albeit one living on the other floor, it IS my business.” Don’t ask what she called the kiddo. You do not solve a confrontation or argument using screaming or cursing.

Why can’t we have more companies like this one???

This would be a godsend to people like me and NWP:

There, nearly all the workers are hard-to-employ adults—people who were previously incarcerated, addicted to drugs or alcohol, homeless, or faced other issues that made them seemingly unemployable. In other words, Greyston Bakery hires the people that no one else will. But not only that—it also offers subsidized housing and childcare to its employees, maintains community gardens and nutrition education classes, and offers free job training programs to the community’s needy.

The house, again…

I called a cousin of mine last night — I was on the phone with him until past 3 am this morning.

I let him in on the mess I’ve been in with bro and what’s happened over the last 9 years…and legally, over the last year and some change.

He strongly suggests that we sell the house for whatever we can get for it and get out of Dodge as quickly as possible. Even if it is a tear down payment from some developer, take it and go.

All of this is a bad dream. Oh sure, I know what a problem Bro is and he’s crackers but never ever did I ever imagine that it would come down to something like this.

Sell it and go is one thing — but who knows when that will happen? There are now 2 houses for sale on this block and a third upcoming (it’s very new construction and who knows when the house will be completed being built) — and one that was a one family and a fixer upper never sold; the house wound up being a rental unit — who knows?

I was supposed to be getting ready for retirement and planning out where I am going to live. Instead I am still trying to find a full time job and I have a big mess on top of that, quest too.

Stuck at 57 Degrees In Here…”the curious case of the oil provider that was…”

And that temperature hasn’t moved since Sunday night.

What to do — I ‘gave it” a day to return back to 63 degrees but that didn’t happen.

And I am hoping that that temp doesn’t drop any further than where it is right now: at 57 degrees.

WOW.  And %*%)#&# to the bunch of them.

I was more or less told “go soak your head” by the oil provider — they would not come out 2 weeks ago and they would not even bother to tell me what part it is that failed.

I don’t know whether this is because they didn’t feel like telling me what the part and cost would be…. or because they didn’t want me to comparison shop or what — or maybe they just wanted me to go away, being they can now get no more money from me — but all I know is they did not bother to tell me what part it is that needs to be replaced or what the price is (as I mentioned, it had to be the same part that failed 11 years ago and that was  $800+ and change and not covered under the service contract) Last I heard, it was only business to tell the customer what broke and how much it will cost to fix it.

None of this makes sense.

My mechanic didn’t mind that I comparison shopped for a starter, or for a transmission replacement (Jimmy wanted 3 grand to fix the transmission and he was having a friend of his come in to do the work — by sheer luck, the gent who towed my car when it busted down gave me the name of a guy who fixed transmissions. That’s where I went; $900 and what a sweetheart Oscar was. The Nicest Mechanic In the World) What happened here? They’re pissed off I am no longer a paying customer, or what?

(I was told “go soak your head” also by town social services. Isn’t that a mother of a laugh.)

If you are in an apartment and your landlord is at fault, you can report him and the authorities will do something about it. Nobody goes to bat for a home owner who is in financial dire straits. I guess they figure since you own a home, you can afford to take care of what busted.

I was thinking of calling the police department in the town where the oil company does business — say it is a non-emergency — and explain what is happening.

Could they tell the oil provider to get their asses out here and fix what needs to be fixed?

Whatever it is, it is not keeping the temp in here at the minimum for where the temp should be, with the thermostat cranked down to the minimum. I don’t have enough hot air making it through the ducts.

Try to keep the story brief. Haha. This story took more twists and turns than a road in the Alps.

And if I get nobody out here to do something about this…

Jesus. I am so so tired of fighting with all of this.

What about the rest of the stuff?:(

Today I found out the hard way that my benefits do not include a cash benefit. Why it does not, I do not know.

it’s good for food only.

I never knew there were 2 kinds of snap benefits until I got home and read the information and instructions that went with it.

Now what do I do for pet food, sundries, soap and other necessities? Where do they expect you to get them? Food banks do not usually carry those items. I guess they figure people have an income/source of cash also or they are receiving GA. I have neither one.

Today I figured Let me try the mayor and let him know how pissed I am at the head of SS and the admin who works there —- when i got to his office and spoke to his admin, first it was “he is due back in 20 minutes; let me text him” and five minutes later it was “He isn’t coming back.”

Is he *really* not coming back?

Or is it “Tell this pain in the ass I won’t be back”?

Having a hard time figuring out which one it is.

I am also trying to find a way to dig up the cash to get money to pay for a copy of my birth certificate. I also don’t have bus fare to get back to the county building. Yes, that’s how bad this is.

I was supposed to go back today but I had to do research, also:

Give them a list of where I have applied to/submitted a resume to over the last 2 and a half years and how many interviews I got….and what results came from them.

Give them a list of outstanding expenses and how much is in each expense.

And lastly let them know nobody could help me as far as the heat goes.

I should have had this attended to in September — gone to apply for benefits —- after that joke of a job fair I went to.  I don’t know why I let this go for so long — was it denial? Stupidity? What was it? I don’t know.

The clerk at the county (who was an Asian Indian; a pretty good contingency of them work in the county office; how the heck did they get those jobs???) wanted to know how I got by as long as I did on my own.

I am in a real big heap of trouble. I am going to have to call the county and find somebody to talk to to explain what’s going on here with me.

I don’t believe that any of this has happened to me. Is this what life turned out to be for me? Why? I am desparate at this point. I have about half a tank of gas left and wow, what a mess.

My conclusion: Every Woman For Herself


As you all know, I got no calls back from either town social services, the oil provider or from a social services group who I called that might have been able to help me out with my bum burner motor problem.

My conclusion is ” It’s Every Woman For Herself.”

Nobody’s going to go all out for you when the chips are down. Very sad commentary of the times.

As I said, suppose there was an incident here after I hung up from them 2 nights ago? This is the dead of winter! Do they want to take chances? Evidently they don’t give a hang if they do!

I was tempted to go see the mayor and tell him he needs to keep tabs on those people in SS — but I decided not to. They all tend to cover each other’s asses and I’d wind up looking like the shit and bad guy, if I did.

I will not call them or go there for anything ever again. I *think* today was food day but I didn’t call and ask (I had something else to do and I was gone for most of the day.).

The temp in here is now holding steady at about 64 degrees. I actually got it to rise to 68; I cranked it up and left it there for half a day and the temp rose as a result.

I had an aunt who, if she was still alive, would be 89 years old this year. I will bet you that if she was still around, she could have found a way to replace that motor herself. She could do just about anything and up until the end, she was still pretty with it and sharper than a tack.

,….or if I had a handy boyfriend, he and I could have replaced the thing ourselves.

There are quite a few electrical companies in this area. The motor in it is probably less than 1 hp; there is probably one for the buying somewhere in those stores.

Every woman for herself. I plan on not calling social services anymore about anything — I got the idea that I am a nuisance.

I got that idea about 10 seconds into the first phone call I made to SS. The director of SS lives across the yard from me; she knows where I live and I guess she thinks I must be full of shit about money problems if I live in a house like that,

The oil company doesn’t even call me and ask “what temp have you got right now” just to cover themselves? This is winter and this is also decency. Nobody cares anymore.

Curioser and curiouser: life stinks.

This mess will never end.

Today my furnace busted, after a week of making excessive noise. I knew something was going to happen — and today it happened full tilt at about 5pm.

The furnace was making more noisethan it made since last MOnday, starting this morning, starting about 7:30 — at about 8:30 I called the fuel oil company. I was told “We cannot do that for free. We have to pay our guy too, you know? Call the town department of social services and see what they can do…”

And when I went to social services today — I had to be there for another purpose: I was told by the director “We cannot have that repair exceed a certain amount. We gave you a lot of oil last week. Sorry.” (234 gallons that I have no idea how long will even last — this is January 12)

So the most I could get in the way of a repair was “hot air by rising” The blower fan went – before I cut the power to the furnace, I was smelling burning rubber and something else burning – and I think that was a $800 repair 10 years ago when that part went.

I will bet the cost is a good thousand. Great. (and as I recall, the service contract back in 2004 did not cover the cost of the repair)

This is going to heat this whole place, rising hot air that just drifts through the ducts and then comes out of the register? Ordinarily the blower fan would propel the hot air up and through the register but since the town department of social services won’t pay for it, that’s the “best” they can do in the way of a repair. Jesus.

We were not exactly poor when we were kids — there was not much money coming in but for the love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, wow — we NEVER had a situation like this, not once, not EVER!

Tomorrow I have an intake interview for food stamps. They want everything: bank account balance, utility bills for phone, gas and electric and homeowners insurance, etc.

Yeah…and then that’s at least another week’s delay before I hear back.

What a mess.

And hot air by rising??? I don’t know how great for heating this place that that is going to be in the long run for me — how efficient is hot air that merely drifts up a duct? Is this “method” of heating good for the long run? This is only mid-January —- spring is a bit of a way away.

I am not happy overall with the way this heating oil company has handled anything over this past year — I am going to look into another provider (I also don’t like the repair guy they sent; he gave me the creeps plus my dog gave him the OO and once over and my dog was hanging back; the dog did NOT like this guy…. And I trust my dog’s opinion when it comes to people) Not calling them anymore. I am finding another provider for oil.

This is a bone I can pick with the county tomorrow.

So none of this is going to be resolved – getting that blower motor fixed, etc — unless I luck into a good fulltime job….or I get a huge wad of money thrown at me. Ha ha. What the hell happened here — to us, to me, to you and to everything? This is like some kind of never never land.

I am also giving the county a list of my other outstanding expenses. Give them that as well. Let them see what kind of a boat I am really in.

The beat goes on…and on…more of my “Most Embarrasing Moments”

I came back from social services with a bag of food and some chicken and other freezables.

I went there with the purpose of getting a Walmart card — I still have my blood pressure med prescription there since it’s $4 or a month’s supply of them — but the woman who ran the department was on vacation.

Whether I wanted to or not, I wound up speaking to a woman — I’ll call her Jane — who I know rather personally from a joint venture we both are volunteers with.  I was not comfortable speaking with her because of that reason. Nobody else was available. So lucky lucky me.

I said to Jane, “I am here for a Walmart card.” — this was after I asked for the head of SS and she told me that person was on vacation.

She said “Well what do you need that for?”

I said “for food” — and I guess I sounded like I was in a hurry or upset or something — she actually gave me a dirty look.

She then said — and my friend thought this was way out of line — “Sit down, take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on.”

Do you think I liked telling this person what is happening with me? You don’t shit where you eat! This is way close for comfort.

Make a long story short: I guess now I have to apply for food stamps — I still need bread and milk and fruit and cash is nearly nonexistent. See why I was so upset about that UPS job — and that gig at Bloomingdales — not happening? I’d have had money to carry me through to at least next week.

I don’t even have the money from a holiday season job.

I got “Oh jobs are hard to come by” from jane — Jane is over 65 and NEEDS TO RETIRE. I can only imagine what she is being paid at that job; this is a great gig, working with this town! You work 6 hours a day, you get fantastic benefits and you are paid more than you are worth. Why should a social services manager for an 18,,000 person town make 75K???

Another year gone.

And I am still here.

I have spent the last 3 days cold calling it and visiting social services.

It was a good move for the town to hire a job “counselor” of sorts but it’s still not enough.

I asked her if she knew of any jobs where one can be a very quick hire — even something warehouse – she suggested that I try the outlets “they are always hiring and so is Wal-Mart.”

I am not eligible for disability, according to my doc — so that’s out.

I don’t know what I am going to do.

Getting back to that nonsense at UPS:

Where I come from, no employee at any company I worked for was ever permitted to “officially” complain about another one where the complaint would go on official record.

If there was a problem (performance or other) a manager or boss or supervisor was given the task of rectifying it or as a very last resort, “wrote up” the employee in question with an incident report or a first warning.

Or you call the person into your office and say to him,  “hey, Jim — something’s come to light here and we need to talk about this….” And you have a discussion! THAT IS WHAT YOU DO!

So some *%&%# goes “blahdeblahdeblah” and presto chango, you’re the village idiot? Great!

When I was working for the lab, we had this night tech who was constantly late. She was to start at 11pm but at least 2 days a week she was late by at least a half hour. (I suspected she had a 3-11 job elsewhere and this is why she was always not on time but that’s another story — the bosses never fired her because nobody wanted the night shift)

I did not dream of saying something to her! Leave this to the lab supervisor to take care of – he SEES her time card, right? He knows you are staying past your 3-11 shift, waiting for her!

Nor did I dream of running to personnel and complaining!

The wrong way to do things: how do you know these 2 employees perhaps had a problem plain ole getting along or how do you know the one who complained just did not like the person he is complaining about? Jane’s performance is fine but Jill simply cannot stand Jane.

Simply because you don’t like your coworker is  NOT a legitimate basis for something to show up on somebody’s record. A shit way to run things.

There was a manager/supervisor who had a “Territory” of that entire building, with several departments! I only saw him once a day: when I was leaving so he could sign me out for the day. He nearly never visited that customer desk: I saw him do that twice, in the whole time I was there.

All of this is straight out of Dilbert.

I don’t know how all of this came to be. I really don’t.

What do you do? You’re waiting for a miracle to happen, or a job offer to happen or another job ad to appear where you can go “maybe this will be the one.”

And I am postponing the inevitable. Next week I have to see brokers and get a realtor in here. Maybe with some great luck this house will sell quickly, I can have half the proceeds and I can go live somewhere cheaply…and maybe even where there is a J-0-B for me!

Plus my dog gave me another hard time last night — I am worried about him and I am strapped for money for a vet — he has night anxiety and the anxiety is worsening. it is now carrying into the full daylight hours — he is difficult to handle and I don’t know where to keep him where he won’t pace or get hurt or run into trouble during the night time hours.. He usually paces all night long. I can’t stop him from doing it (I should have crate trained him when I got him but that’s past now)

He is 75 pounds and part of his night anxiety problem is that he will jump up onto my bed and sit on me. He will not budge; I don’t need a broken rib or a clawed face or some other injury.

He paces  the bed — he sits in one spot for maybe 2 seconds and hen he tries another part of the bed — and he paws at the sheets, the pillows, etc.

With night anxiety, the circadian rhythm is off: the dog thinks it’s day when it’s night and vice versa: they will pace all night and sleep most of the day.

He’s been having the night anxiety episodes for about a year and over the last couple of weeks they have gotten more frequent and more intense. I am trying to treat his problem without having to run up some sort of expense in the process.

As you can see I am also having other personal problems. (I also have a little bird that went home to his reward about 2 and a half weeks ago) Another crummy year. Nothing else much is new here.

Last night I took the babygate and stretched it from the bathroom door to my bedroom door — he had only access  access to half the kitchen and this room; he can’t get to me in the bedroom. Poor thing — he was so glad to see me when I got up and went to go find him this morning.

So sad, all of it.

I am not one of these animal weirdoes or a “dog lady” or anything like that — but especially in a time like this, my dog is important to me.

I don’t know what’s ahead for me.

And at this time last year, I was sure that the 2 of them would be out of here and gone by end of May — I must have rocks in my head. This is now an official year that all of this has been going on — happy Anniversary, bro; enjoy it: you deserve nothing at all in life and deserve “a lot more where that summons came from” a year and 3 days ago —- and all of this is way too much to take.

I spoke to a realtor this afternoon and I really did not like them — I am wondering if I should have them here as a “for instance” and that’s all.

It’s all too much to take, every last bit of it. I watched another year crash and burn. How much of this are you supposed to take?



The Miracle Jobs I Have Gotten

The Miracle Jobs…Yes, these are true and bona fide stories.:)

I thought I’d bring something new to this board, and perhaps a lot of us, if not all of us, would like to read about something uplifting.

“I swear that I am up to no good…”:) Yes, these stories of how these jobs came to be are entirely true…

Miracle Job #1…May 1980

I did not accept this job! I was too chicken to try! Stupid youth…I was only 22!:)

Here is how I acquired the job offer: I was a student at the med tech school and our lab sent our class to the neighboring hospital (had 600 beds) to see what their chemistry lab was like and how things were done there, since our smaller hospital didn’t perform those types of procedures. Four of us spent a week there, 2 of us sent one week and then the next, the other 2.

Our  time was divvied up between the general chem lab (the big thing then was the automated SMA1260 with the 12” floppy disk!) and then in the electrophoresis lab for the other half of the week. The woman who ran the electrophoresis lab – ran serum specimens to see if a heart attack did occur – told us (me and my lab partner) that she did not like the way the other 2 lab students sent there did things.

During our session, my lab partner broke the little pipette. The pipette delivered a very small amount of sample, perhaps half a very small drop and it took a little derring do to apply it to the trough in the gelatin media.

The lady who ran the lab liked the way I worked. She literally jumped on me to work for her – she offered me the job 3 times…I said no.:( In latter years, I was sorry I did not take the job.

This was a big teaching hospital and not some tiny little chicken coop like the lab we were in.:(

Miracle Job #2:  October 1996

I’d gone on many job interviews with no success.

This one morning the phone rang; my mother got the phone. Handed it to me and told me it who  was on the line.

My mother fubared the name of the company which is why I didn’t know who this could have been…when I got on the line, I found out. It was Jane, a woman I interviewed with in very early August.

She had a receptionist job open but I did not get the job. When she called me that morning, she explained to me that the reason why she didn’t give me the job is that she thought I‘d get bored and quit on her.

Here is why she was calling 2 and one half months later:

She first asked me if I remembered her. I said I did; she explained what she wanted — she knew of a job opportunity that was available immediately — assistant to a CEO – and would I be interested.

She said she thought she’d ask me first to see it it was okay with me before she called the gent who needed the admin. I told her it would be fine. She said she’d call him and have him call me.

The admin unexpectedly quit that morning, about an hour before Jane called me; no notice given; the admin just took off — and that is why the job was open.

He needed a replacement for Lisa and immediately, as he was due to go away for about a month on business duties for the company — and he needed somebody in her place to pick up the ball asap. The company was entering their busy season in about a month.

Maybe 2 hours passed; the gent called me. Gave me the directions to the company and told me if I could be there at about 3, it would be great. ‘

I was more or less hired sight unseen. I went to the company; I met with him and several others of his team and by 6 pm I had the job.:)

The job lasted for 7 months — I got laid off (I knew the company was financially ailing and the CEO was honest about that when I was hired —- and to tell you the truth, I didn’t care; this was an opportunity to learn something real new so what did I have to lose.) and unfortunately for the rest of the company, they got laid off,  too – cut to half time the day after I got laid off.  ( I swear that this man did me a favor; I lost my mother in late February and I am pretty certain he waited until I was eligible to collect unemployment before he laid me off) I got the better of the deal — less than a week later, I had another job offer; when I got to that job, the owner asked me if I knew anybody who needed a job and to have them come on down.

I immediately passed the word on to my ole company; some of the ladies showed up (and told me things were not good over there) – he never did hire anybody; I don’t know why… but I at least thought of them. I learned plenty over there and it was still one of the most interesting jobs I held.

Miracle Job #3….December 1992

in the midst of everybody and their uncle Stanislaw losing their jobs… This was a receptionist job — I answered the ad on the day of the nor’easter.

I was out of work 10 months at the time. Our company was Chapter 11 and our distribution center was phased out and closed.

The company I called was still open at about noon — I think the office manager told me they were about to close and send everyone home — the interview was set up for Monday, the 14th.

I had the interview and spoke to about 4 people over there — 2 were casual “hellos” and there was an interview with the office manager; the other person I spoke to was a casual VP who talked to me for about 5 minutes, just to be friendly.

I think I was there for an hour, all told. Told me they would decide by the end of the week.

Zoom ahead to Wednesday the 16th, about quarter of 7 in the evening.

I was up on a stepladder, hanging a Christmas wreath and was on the last “BANG” of the hammer when the phone rang. At the end was Casual VP…with the job offer.

His first question after he made the offer  was “are you sure you will not be bored?”   I told him no…and when I got there, no, I was never bored.

I remember how nice that first day was; there was a phone rep there who made 4 wooden reindeer for her department mates; she had one reindeer for herself and handed it to me when she saw I was new staff.:)  The bunch of us ladies also got a bouquet of roses on Christmas eve; there was another gift – I think it was candy, but I am not sure.

These were some of the nicest people I ever met. I can think of other jobs that were “miracle jobs” – there are perhaps 3 more – but these 3 are the most outstanding.

Maybe we need some uplifting stories on this board.:) How times have changed.

May a Miracle Job come to each and every one of you, unbidden and fabulous and spectacular.:)

This sure figures…

Out of ideas and out of suggestions.

I never did hear back from Bloomingdales, not even after I left my telephone number there last Wednesday.

I went back to UPS on Sunday. There were maybe 6 or 7 of us there – I figured maybe see if I can get my assignment at the customer desk back (there were 2 of us there last year).

I spoke to somebody in HR and she made copies of my IDs. I told her I’d be interested in going back to the customer desk. “It’s late in the season and there is already somebody there,” she said.

As I was leaving she said “I will call you tomorrow.”

No call ever came. Not even today.

There is no landline number available where I can call and find out what’s the story — I would have to go there in person and find out – but wow, should I be going through this kind of effort?? She should have called me indeed.

I have heard nothing. Do I go to orientation again or what — she didn’t say. (She did say “when I run your background checks, if you want to stay around for a half hour, I’ll set you up with orientation tomorrow”)  What about my ID? Do I go back and have my photo take and get the actual ID? Do I or do I not get my spot back at that customer desk or do I go elsewhere with a driver? Is this a no go or what’s the story?

What’s going on here???

I am going through this time and trouble and tearing my hair out for exactly $880 dollars…and that’s if I get 2 weeks of work from tomorrow up until Christmas Eve — my hours were over on Christmas Eve last year.

I am out of suggestions and out of ideas. Other than UPS and retail stores in need of holiday help (yeah, if you can get the retail hours) I cannot name anybody who is hiring for year end people — ADP used to have year end temp jobs but ADP in my area is looooong gone. Both parcels of land that they stood on in Clifton were sold off to other concerns a good 20 years ago and the buildings were demolished.

Nobody seems to be busting a move to call me — I should have been called and told yes or no, no? Holy shit…trouble from this dumb bunch of klutzes, too…haha. That sure figures.

ETA: it is Wednesday and I have the update; this one’s a real lulu.

And holy cow.:(

I went to UPS and said to the guy in the guard shack “Is there any way I can sp eak to somebody in HR? I am trying to find out the status of a helper’s job.”

He dials HR and somebody switched me to the extension of the person who interviewed me.  Candy did not answer.

I called HR again and said “I just spoke to somebody in HR and I cannot reach Candy; is there any way you can find out what the status of my application is?”

She said “Let me check on that” and  put me hold.

One minute goes by, then 2, then 3, then 4 — and you KNOW this cannot be good — and then she got back on the line.

“Candy decided you were not suitable for that position. I don’t know what transpired in the time you spoke to her…”

I said “I talked to her for about a minute and then she said she’d call me on Monday. Why didn’t anybody call me to tell me?” I must have asked her 3  times “Why didn’t anybody call me?”

Then she says “Well we have other positions…there is preload…”

That’s  4 am until 9am and it’s all lifting.

I said  “I can’t lift anything heavy” and said thanks and I hung up.

Holy cow — why did this person decide NO on ME???  “I remember you from last year…” Really? What the hell happened here???

I tend to think when somebody rejects you immediately they do not like you. For love of all holy, this is a 2 week assignment and I will have no contact with you: what happened here?

She decided no?. I can’t even blame this on perhaps the 2 jerky phone calls to the cops that my brother made where maybe somehow those 2 calls worked their way into the background check. I cannot blame this on him. I blame this on Candy?

No — I am pretty sure that at the end of our time there, each driver or whoever it was who the helper worked with was asked to review their performance. And the question of “would you rehire this driver’s helper” was asked.

Don’t be so sure that we were NOT reviewed. We most likely were.

I blame Ralph, one of 2 guys who worked at the customer desk. On my first day there he yelled at me and did this in front of about 10 people who were lined up to pick up items.  He did so periodically all though my stay — he also ordered me NOT to get the landline that was at the customer desk (I made the mistake of getting the phone and some guy was asking about picking up an item — he kept talking and talking and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Finally I said “I don’t know; I  will  find out” and gave the phone to  Ralph. When Ralph hung up, he said “Do not get that phone anymore; I will answer it or you get Tom.”

Maybe Ralph was the one who gave me a lousy review. What does he care? He retired! he has been gone since March!

Something told me not to bother applying this year but I did anyway. Maybe I should have listened to my gut. But if I never called, I’d have been kicking myself wondering if I lost out by not applying — damned you do and damned you don’t. Man.

I am tired of not having a job — any job — of some kind. Maybe I would have been right to not apply there at all this year. I don’t know. I try to do the right thing and I am trying every route that is available —  looks like I was wrong again.

And you people never told us there are reviews, if indeed there were any — this in itself is bad. Maybe one of the full timers has a vendetta against the helper or maybe “Mary Smith” got “Jim Jones'” review and it got keyed into Mary’s file. Maybe the information in the review is wrong. Who knows?

They are acting like the helper’s job is some kind of a great big time gig. Lots of big companies are vanquishing the “employee yearly review.” Outmoded and not needed, is what’s been decided.

There is some kind of connection between this year and why I cannot come back as  a helper, yet you are telling me “Wait.. .we have other jobs…there is preload  from 4am until 9am…” Something is very weird here indeed and this is why I tend to think there was a review of me by one of the full timers in that department.

Done in by corporate cuture (aka When in doubt, don’t pledge the Delta House)

This happened over 20 years ago.

I was hired as a receptionist at a very well known commercial construction company. Their company headquarters was 2 blocks from my home.

Donna the office manager interviewed me. As I recall she spoke to me for about a half hour and then I was hired.

Donna requested that I come in on Black Friday, “just to get used to the phones.” I couldn’t see how very many clients and such would be calling, being most people were off on that day so I said okay.

About 10 people were in the office that day. They dismissed us at noon and told me I’d be paid for the whole day.

As I had a look at the company directory (it was posted there in front of me) 3 names caught my eye: these were real a-holes that I knew in high school — the real JD types. I started to worry and I didn’t know why.

I came in on Monday and Cheryl (she was now at an admin slot upstairs with some engineer or other — that’s why the receptionist job was avalable) was helping to train me. I did some paperwork got the phone and that was it. Tuesday was more of the same. (I knew Cheryl slightly in high school — she was a year or 2 behind me — and I graduated with her sister — I was never crazy about either one of them; they were always part of “That” kind of crowd — see where this is going?)

At no time did  Donna come up to me to ask me how I was doing, did I need anything, etc. I thought that was kind of odd.

I came in the next day and sitting at my receptionist desk was Cheryl; she was on the phone with somebody.   “I don’t know now when I will be going upstairs….” she said into the phone.

The office manager came up to me at about 10 or so and said “Mr. Nixon wants to talk to you.” Mr. Nixon was an estimator; I didn’t even know him — never met him prior to Wednesday —nor did I know why he wished to speak to me.

I went into his office and he said “It’s not working out. It’s just not working out what can I tell you. What can I say? Not working out; if we needed a secretary youd be great but what can I say….”

He handed me my check and said “You can go now.”

I went outside and opened my check.

I was paid for Friday, Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday (the current date). They were also paying me $2 less an hour than what we agreed on and the check was dated December 5. Today was December 3. These bastards knew in advance that I was being shown the door and they knew on Friday, possibly after the try out time was over. Generally, that is when payroll paydates end and that’s  when their paydate ended.

We all know that it takes at least 2 days in advance of payday to run paychecks — the checks have to be examined,  signed and they have to be put into envelopes and then distributed to each department. No paychecks are generated at a random time in a sole run for ONE SOLE PERSON — not if they were coming from an outside payroll company, which is where this bunch got their paychecks. They were not done in house.

So yeah, these people knew I was going to be gone and they decided this as of my performance on Friday…yeah, my four hour performance where the phone rang perhaps 15 times the whole time I was there.

They should have paid me out of petty cash, to make it look good. What a rotten bunch.

The thing here is this: I swear that I “didn’t fit” in with the crowd — this was a very rough-edged crew; four letter words and ugh the word “unladylike” comes to mind.  They dressed like they were going to some club or other; I was also thinking that that a-hole I mentioned said something about me and maybe that’s why I got the axe (I did not see her on any of the dates I was there, though…who knows???) I can only guess.

To this day, I still say it is dirty pool.

Roughnecks? Try this one on for size:

The desk I sat at –and this is the same one that the former receptionist sat at — had a sticker on it that said “Caution: working with assholes can give you AIDS.”

Not only is this something you do NOT put in a work cubicle — it can also be seen by somebody who is a visitor — Cheryl also has a brother who was out of the closet at age 12 — my brother graduated high school with him. Don was always openly flamboyant and girlish, even in kindergarten (I’ve seen this for myself, over the years) . Considering you have a gay brother, this is cool to post???

And awfully odd that nobody in management told her to take it down. Maybe somebody in management wants to make a quick phone call and rather than head back to his desk, he grabs the receptionist’s phone real quick. So, he’s not going to see that profane sticker???

Any manager coming in after hours or on a Saturday can see that sticker. This is a disgrace and nobody said “Cheryl, take that sticker down” or better yet, removed it himself???

They don’t want anybody conservative?  You didn’t ask the right questions when you spoke to me: you can find out exactly where it is at with a person if you say “So what do you like to do in your free time?” If I mention things like reading or art or gardening or cooking chances are I am kind of conservative.

I still swear to this day that somebody said something about me, plus I really didn’t fit in with this crowd. The real roughneck types that still think they’re in high school and they’re on their way to another drinking party in somebody’s basement or “the woods.” Ugh.

And even if I am extremely conservative and not like “one of the rest” what damn difference does it make? Can I do the job? Am I good at the job? Am I prompt? Do I get along well with others? That’s all you need to know, not whether I am “one of them” or not. And what’s it to you if I am not “one of them”?? This isn’t  right and this isn’t fair.

What the fudge happened here?

I thought I had an actual interview with an actual store tomorrow morning — I open this morning’s email — and they have cancelled.

No explanation given, just an email saying the interview is off and to pull it from my schedule.

I am tempted to get dressed and go tomorrow morning anyway.

What do you do when you need money and wow, not even a retail job is going to pan out? it’s like you can’t make any plans at all. Every single thing you plan heads right out the window.

I do not know what could have happened there. I do no know why it’s “the interview is cancelled.” I am guessing they made some sort of an error in the first place and somehow I got a notification to come to their group interview. Seemed odd I never heard from any of the stores…but that one said for me to come to their interview.

When you are people like us and it’s critical to have even that job and now the job isn’t going to happen, it’s a crime: rotten and miserable and frigging CRIME is what it is. WE are the people who are educated and intelligent and worked at jobs far more interesting and mind-challenging than retail, yet we can’t even seem to get an IN over there for that job!

Be &$^%**!@% glad we are interested in working for minimum wage and wow, probably only until the day after Christmas — so that is what, a scant 2 week RUN???

Also poor form to notify somebody a scant day in advance. I have never liked it when I’ve gotten a last minute cancellation. I don’t care if it is a hole in the wall 2 person outfit or a big major store: BAD form to cancel this late in the game.

Between mid-September and now, I visited and cold called — on foot — 35 companies/retail establishments.

This is retail, a hotel or 2 and various companies. 35 places and not one opening — nothing. ALL of these companies that I visited in this one particular building had every employee follow them to the new locale; there were no people who decided “the commute is too long for me so I will not be going with them”??? Very hard to believe.

And that there is no plan to add an employee or 2 for the new year.

Even harder to believe.

This whole year has been a %*$#&*$ mess. I will be glad when it is OVER. To the DEVIL with this entire YEAR.

I went over to that store and I left my name and number in one of the business offices. I don’t think I will be getting a call back; I was there earlier today.

I just can’t understand it. When I sit down at that interview, it’s like I become invisible. These people do not want to talk to me or have any interest in me. Do they just not believe what I have to say? Am I making the whole thing up, to them? Did I give them some reason to disbelieve me, or my resume, or anything else I have prcsented to them?

It is not age or appearance. Plenty of these offices have much older people working there — and lots of them are much older than I am. What’s going on here? And it sure isn’t race or color. If I was of color or another race, I’d suspect that the first thing off the bat.

I have worked for some real lulus, fruitcakes, the not so bright, the corrupt, the foul mouthed, the inept, the wishy washy, the spineless  and somebody who was in charge simply because the company was family-run and he was the heir apparent.    None of the people I have interviewed with are any worse than people I have worked for — so what is going on here? Why am I not a match with any of these hiring managers?

I cannot spend my days waiting for ads and waiting for interviews. That has resulted in a big fat nothing for me and will result in more of the same. Where in God’s name do you go when you need money and a job immediately?

Somebody suggested the following:

1-Move to another state. I cannot do that; you guys know what kind of big trouble there is here on the homefront

2-Try daycare centers; they are always looking for people to change diapers and to quell screaming kids. Apparently there is high turnover in those places.  I have never diapered a baby or even so much as baby sat. Plus won’t they fingerprint you up the wazoo and back again and background check you until the next century comes and goes?

I have a nightmare on my hands, on all fronts. I don’t know hot to make it stop and I sure don’t know how to get somebody to hire me.

What do I do now?

Retail stores, the oh so crucial holiday season…and those pesky employee pre employment “profiles”

We have seen them at nearly every major retail store.

Sears requires it, Bloomingdales does and so does Burlington Coat Factory and many other larger retail stores. Many do not — TJ Maxx, Big Lots! and probably quite a few more.

I’m talking about the GATE profile or whatever it is that the individual store calls it. This is about an hour’s worth of statements that you will rank from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree.”

“There are no right or wrong answers” the candidate is assured….so if that is the case, why does your store waste time and money adding this “profile” to the on line application for employment?

The statements to rank are “I often lose my temper” to “I rarely lose my temper”, “I believe in following the rules, “”I like to be the leader,” “I believe in working quickly”  “one day I will become important in the company,” “I believe that working fast is the best way to work” and “People would describe me as outgoing.” There are about 300 statements in all and many are asked again and again, but worded a bit differently each time.

Each store must have a “mimimal” score — I got a call from Burlington Coat Factory to come in for an interview but all I got from Kohl’s, Bloomingdales and Sears was “Thank you. We will see if there is an appropriate match.” And I never heard from the store again.

I do not place much confidence in any pre employment “test.” The best of test takers are sometimes the worst of employees — and such a test will not ensure the exclusion of time wasters, those who are frequently absent or late nor will it exclude and pinpoint those who steal or the discourteous. No test is failsafe or perfect.

Years ago the test of choice for a job candidate in retail was The Stanton Survey. This was another one of those things that was supposed to “flag” a drug user or thief. There were questions that took about 45 minutes to answer and a section where the candidate would submit a handwriting sample.

(Handwriting samples are interesting — but again, not a failsafe way to choose or exclude a job candidate. Handwriting analysis is not an exact science)

So that is where I stand on that. I cannot see why these stores can’t  do it the way UPS does it when it comes to hiring seasonal employees: Conduct a short interview and HIRE all of the candidates, depending upon the outcome of the background check.

I also visited the last 3 remaining outlet stores, a few companies at random and canvassed one entire office building — that was about 8 or 9 companies (each company now comprises one floor of the building) and nobody had a job available. Not one blessed thing.:(

The only businesses left are the hotels and restaurants. Very doubtful if any visit to those establishments will yield a job for me.

PS: I did not hear from AC Moore, either. They had a plain ole on line application. Perhaps some of those jobs “advertised” on their website are bogus or there for some other reason. Shit.

Trying to figure out where else I can go…

Yesterday I spent 31/2 hours visiting outlet stores and other companies in that vicinity, in hopes that the stores were in need of holiday help and to see if the companies I visited need fulltime office help.

I visited 4 outlet stores. I completed apps for all 4 of them and dropped them off yesterday.

I followed up today in person.

2 of the 4 stores are a no go. They are not hiring.

They weren’t even officially hiring, but it is just about holiday season and usually, don’t they need temporary help?

I  visited 2 stores; the third was busy with customers (I left) and as for the 4th one, nobody called me.

At the 4th store yesterday, I was told they needed somebody for one day a week. He couldn’t say “I’ll interview you” talk to me for 10 mintues, hire me and then say to me “here’s the app; when you report to work bring it with you”?

I also knocked on the door of that company that had the open house in September– this is the company where I stood in line for 3 hours to talk to one person for 5 minutes.

I saw somebody walking around in the lobby. According to her, most of the jobs are filled.

No phone call no call back from that company — and I have done creative work. Nobody contacted me for a “real” interview.

They were open to day for business; they are open on Saturdays. More cars are in their lot and already it was a give away to me that more people have been hired.

What are you supposed to do when you need a salary fast???

I guess next I can try working in a fast food joint. Who is going to hire me?

I have many many bills to pay. My problem is like everybody else’s on this forum: Too many bills and not enough money to pay them. I still need an eye exam and I still need to go to the dentist.

This is sick and this is crazy. A retail job used to be for anybody who wanted one. They spent about 20 minutes talking to you and you’d get the job on the spot. Not anymore.

I also did not hear back from Sears. (I finally got “through” to their real website and applied for seasonal hours; that was on Thursday night). There is an application that takes a half hour to complete and then there is an assessment, both ‘written” and “verbal.” Both sections took 35 minutes.

I am guessing none of my answers were what they wanted. I couldn’t figure out which one “was” the best. Lots of the “replies” were things I would never say to a client — or say to a stranger — so I don’t see how they decide who is suitable enough to be called back for an interview.

You will hear from one of those stores immediately if you pass their test. “Your Next Step” is what the email will say. I didn’t hear shit; crossing them off the list.

It may also be possible that nobody has “seen” the results. Who the F knows anymore??

I am still shaking my head over what was behind the register at Tommy Hilfiger — both girls were wearing jeans and as they rang up the items, nobody unfolded the shirts and shook them out! Maybe the customer tucked something into it  and will be making off with a stolen item!

If I was the manager, I’d tell these girls “no blue jeans; neat ‘casual friday’ slacks, preferably in black or navy blue or dark grey and you are to inspect all items before you ring them up.”  And you don’t need no “assessment” test to figure that one out.

The offices back there are now filled with little “no name” outfits:

One of these buildings held the front office operation of Pierre Deux at one time; PD is no longer there. (I believe they have gone out of business)   A furniture company is now using the whole warehouse to hold couches.

Nobody is there to man the front. I hear forklifts going. I hollered twice “hello? Any body home?” I waited for 2 minutes; nobody came to see who or what I was; I left.

That building also holds another separate warehouse with attached front office space; you have to drive all the way to the back of the parking lot to access that part of the building.

On the door were the names of several types of apparel; I am guessing some type of apparel company is back there.

I walked in. Nobody is up front; all the offices are empty. I found a guy in there; I told him what I wanted…wow, that town fire department needs to inspect that warehouse; there are boxes and boxes and boxes — hundreds of them — on tables, on the floor, on shelves; the boxes were everywhere you looked — and several tired Hispanics and Asian Indians were working there.

What we have here: the dregs of the “corporate world.” My God — this is a wasteland. Silly little nothing outfits that are wannabe companies. And you KNOW that whoever is working there is earning minimum wage at best.

What floors me is that at both these places, I simply walked in. Isn’t anybody concerned about security? you don’t have a lock to keep outsiders out and you don’t have a buzzer for a visitor to buzz. Nope; not these 2 buildings. Not equipped with it. At the very least you need somebody to sit by the front door or sit in the lobby to make sure no undesirables get in there.

Where do you go when you have literally tried everything and every place? What do I do now? run my self ragged going to the last 3 outlet stores left and try the hotels around here — see if they have a clerk’s job or something?

Where do you go when every other possibility is exhausted or shot to hell?

I did go and ask the guy from last month — the one with the chemical company — why I did not get the second interview. He said “I hired somebody more qualified.” I said “I asked you why I didn’t get the second, not why was I not hired…” and he took me out into the hall and gave me  the rough end of his tongue! “I do not appreciate you coming here and questioning me at my office”? Tough TIT.

I kindly reminded him he never asked me about my direct experience so how could he say “the other person was more qualified”?  Who the hell dot hey think they are fooling? Do they think we’re some kind of little kids they can con and lie to?

Where do you go when all possibilities are shot and no longer in the mix for you?  This is an emergency and I don’t know what else to do. Disability? File for it…and you will wait wow, who knows how long. I do not think there is any such thing as an emergency application and how much would I be entitled to? Not enough to live on. Suppose I really did need it and badly? How do they expect you to survive and pay for every day things????

Today I also found out there is another problem with Bro —- holy crap; what a big big shockeroo that is, eh — and I can’t even begin to cope with that one: I am important and I come in first here and always.

What hapenned to applying via your store website…

And being ablet to do only that, minus being assailled by offers for shitty proprietary schools I have never heard of??

I tried to apply for a Sears holiday job.

After providing my name, address, email and phone number — and AGE!!! is this even LEGAL??? They asked what year you graduated from high school/attained a GED! — I got about 6 screens from various proprietary schools asking me if I was interested. I hit NO on all of them…and I still never got access to the official Sears dot com/apply website.

Searsdotcom/apply does not take you to their website –after all these proprietary school screens, you are taken to a generic page that gives you a list of places to search for the Sears jobs: it’s stuff like findmeajob dot com and other websites I’ve never heard from. So help me, the names sound made up.

You cannot access the jobs minus giving your okay for these crap schools to contact you, either. “By checking YES you give permission for Rufus T Firefly University, The Follicle. Cutcle and Shaft Hair  Institute of Technology, Just Say Ohm Electronics School and College, White Eagle University, Akbar and Jeff’s Dog Catching University, The Kramden Norton Institute, Eraserhead College of Hair Design and Pedicures, Medical Assistants R Us Techological College and The Dagwood Bumstead Institute of Sandwich Creation Artistry to contact you….”

WOW…it’s sickening.

When do I get to apply to SEARS????

And if I check off yes, I get the possibility of getting an avalanche of emails, snail mail solicitation and probably phone calls, too??? BULLSHIT.

There is NO option to check NO!

So what good is applying for a job there, even for the holiday??? For the sake of a holiday job, I am supposed to let every single proprietary school have my personal info???

And in the midst of this, who knows if anybody from Sears will even see my application???

Speaking of which, I just went back to TJ Maxx and Big Lots! to see what became of an application I left at both those places 3 weeks ago.

When I was at TJ Maxx a week and a half ago, a hiring manager told me “I will review all the applications at the end of the week.” I went back today to find out what was what.

This time I got (from a very young girl maybe 21 tops), “She only calls who she wants to call.”

Screw ’em.

At Big Lots, I got this (from another kid manager): “We have so many applications we are still going through them all. We want people with the most experience.”

How much experience can YOU have, buddy?

Your store is also staffed by mostly young people. Very young people. So you want a miracle? Keep waiting for it; you won’t GET it.

The store is in an enterprise zone. The area is also on the impoverished side. So you won’t be getting the best selection when it comes to the pool of applicants.

Most probably could not read the application itself: the entire population of that town is now comprised of Central and South American natives. And I couldn’t get SHIT from you?

I must have looked pissed when he said what he said — uh, what do you expect; I’m not gonna be PISSED??? — because he blurted out something like “Good luck I hope you get a call.” Great.

This does not hold a good portent for me.

I already got nothing from these 2 stores. What about the rest of them?

Tomorrow I am going to try the company stores and outlets that still remain open in this town — and I’m also going to try the hotels that are here to see if they even need maybe a nighttime desk clerk’s job.

What the fudge happened here?

Retail jobs used to go to pretty much anybody who wanted them — you’d speak to the store manager for maybe 20 minutes and the job would be yours pretty much.

Now it’s demanding experience in an area where the demographic isn’t going to give you anybody intelligent or anybody with a work ethic — and it’s being picky and fussy and deciding who is worth your while??? I wonder what criteria that chick in that TJ Maxx is going to use to determine whether or not to call Mary Smith in or to give John Doe a call???

Every department store had a PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT — and that is what they need to RETURN TO. None of this bullshit with applying on line anymore. You never even find out if your application was seen — and it is just as bad with stores like TJ Maxx where you can drop the application off at a store. You have no idea if and when it was seen.