Too hilarious NOT to share….what a comedy…

It is quarter of 5 in the morning as I key in this post….

I am drifting in and out of sleep — I do not sleep clear through the night anymore — and I hear a voice outside my door.

Now I am wide awake. I looked at my beside clock.

It is 3:45 am.

What the hell? I said…

And with that, I hear a knock at my front door.

I got up and headed to the door.

I looked through the peephole.

Who, of all people, is standing on my landing: why, that same woman I mentioned in prior threads. I referred to her as Odd Neighbor; her name is Jane…or so I thought [and more on that a bit later…]

Ordinarily I’d have ignored Jane, particularly at quarter of four in the morn,   but after she pulled the “I locked myself out” incident in June, it is likely she will knock all night. She knocked on my door for 45 minutes that afternoon until she went and got the guy from the back apartment to jimmy the door open for her.

I said “Who is it?” (I did NOT open the door)

It’s Jane.

She goes,  “I can’t get into my house.”

I said — and angrily — “I cannot help you with that. Wow, it’s quarter of 4 in the morning!”

“Quarter. Of. Four.” I heard her say.

I snapped,  “Yes; it’s quarter of FOUR! ” I added “I cannot and will not help you break in.”

To this she said nothing; presumably she left.

10 minutes later, I hear people coming up the front hall steps.

It’s her…with a cop! .The cop rattled her doorknob and said “I can’t help you with that…”

They headed down the stairs and then outside; there was some indistinguishable chatter (I didn’t hear any of it except “garage” because a streetcleaner, of all things, came up the block and drowned out the whole thing)

Well, it is quarter of 5 and she is outside, still roaming the streets! I just saw her heading down this block and to this building; she was outside talking to somebody (herself, I think)  and then I didn’t hear her anymore.

That guy next door is still away, then. No way she is house sitting or watching the place until he returns — he’s been gone 2 and a half weeks; what the heck is she doing here, at this hour?

I have a good mind to call that landlord and tell him what happened. Nobody sane  knocks on a neighbor’s door at quarter of four, period.

What kind of a comedy is Landlord running? This is even more hilarious than the primary election we just held!

And a cop came to the aid of  somebody who is locked out of an apartmentt??? And he didn’t ask her for an ID. Really, is he kidding???

These are cops, not a concierge or a locksmith! I think they still come to help you when you are locked out of your car, but not your home.

Around 6:30 she came back and let herself in. The cop must have told her to use an ATM card or something (it works in a pinch; I have tried it) …. because no way did any locksmith or anyone else come to open that door.

Absolutely insane. This ain’t an apartment sitting thing. She is now here round the clock and to me, she is unlawfully in somebody’s apartment; you are if you are here at quarter of 4 in the morning . Then again, seems as though when you have the key you can do what you want…hahaha, I learned that through the trial of fire with Bro!

5:13 pm: My goodness, how interesting…

I waited until 8:30 am and then I called Landlord and told him what happened.

He said to me, “Are you sure this was Jane?” He paused and said, “Jane lives in another part of the building.

I gave him Jane’s description.

He said, “That isn’t Jane; that is Nancy; she lives in there with John Smith; Jane lives in another part of the building.”

Then he said “I am trying to evict her.” Really? Trying? All he has to do is DO IT.

A little backstory — and this is how I found out her name is not Jane, the name she gave me…. 4 1/2 months ago, when I was set to move in, I got only 1 key. That is the key to the front and back door.

I am guessing in the confusion of upcoming surgery, he forgot to give me the other 3 keys.

I now need 3 more keys: one for the top lock on the back door, one for the top lock on the front door (both doors have 2 locks and that one key opens only the bottom lock to both the front and back doors) and one for the front ground floor door. This is the street entrance to the front of the building.

I live on the second floor in the rear; that door leads from the street to the second floor and my front door is the door I had the one key for. I did not have the key to the street level door.

Landlord was having surgery so he was not available to deliver the rest of the keys to me.

So here it was, 2 weeks before I was to officially move in (He told me I would have the last 2 weeks in March free of charge)  I decided to pick up the ball — I  called his  wife and told her what I needed: the key to the front door (I figured skip the other keys for now; the front door is essential). “You can borrow that front door key for the ground floor entrance; make a copy. Knock on the door of the apartment next to you and ask for Jane.  She lives in there.  She’s really nice. Borrow the key from her, make a copy and bring the original back to Jane.”

OKay, sounds like a good idea.

I went over to the building (The front door was locked) and by coincidence while I was in front of the building, this very tall thin and nearly skeletal woman was crossing the street. She came over to me and stopped.

She’s looking at me and not saying anything.

I said, “Do you live here?” She said yes. I said “Are youJane?” She said yes…and I told her what I needed.

“Oh, I can’t do that. That key belongs to the guy up on the second floor and I do not live here. This is his key.”

So here is why I thought she was Jane, and not Nancy…and why did she tell me her name was Jane and why did she say she did not live there????

Apparently she (Nancy) is living with that guy in the apartment next to mine.

She is not his companion who drops in and she is not housesitting whilst he is away…but nonetheless, you can see what I’ve got here: a nutcase. Can’t even give her right name??? I distinctly said “are you Jane?”

I am guessing Landlord’s wife has the tenants mixed up., But still…I’m telling him it’s Jane and I could have gotten Jane into a lot of trouble, thanks to Nancy!

I don’t know where  Jane’s boyfriend John Smith is; apparently he is not in there. He’d have opened the door for her, am I right? So no, he is not on premise.

As I said, that apartment was empty for 2 weeks and I am guessing he is still away at wherever they are and she is back here by herself…maybe??? If he was in there, surely he’d have come to the door.

Screw this….I had plans to move out anyway. I can’t stay here.

This whole building (and also the neighborhood)  is like a British farce.  There sure are enough doors and enough oddball events happening here for it to BE an English farce!

If I find out there is a Brooke Ashton, a Freddy Fellowes or a Poppy living here, I’ll lose my shit. hehe

I felt like a fool explaining this mess to Landlord (he sounded concerned) and felt like a bigger one after I explained to him how I thought Nancy was Jane! Well, Nancy was the one who said YES when I asked “are you Jane” — right???

How strange, all of it. Very odd and sorry, too much. You do not knock on a door at quarter of 4 in the morning  unless it is the direst of emergencies! It would have to be the building is being evacuated or perhaps somebody in there is ill and needs help and even so, you can call an ambulance! Why are you bothering me at 3:45 am; you can’t get into your house? Not my problem!

She has knocked before at odd hours – 6 am and 7 am —  and I refused to get the door. I had to ask her what she wanted this morning otherwise she will knock for another 45 minutes.


How odd she never called Landlord in June; you lock yourself out, you call the landlord, no?

There is a Wendy’s up the block she could have sat in, until 8 am or so, when she could have called either Landlord or a locksmith. Why she never called the landlord in June is mighty odd.

I’ve got my feelers out for a couple of apartments, both are far less expensive than this joint.

It will be interested to see how this plays out. And maybe I should have called a cop when she was knocking this morning.

11 thoughts on “Too hilarious NOT to share….what a comedy…”

  1. You really should find where the artists live in your area, and move there. Also, sign up for Social Sercuity Disability. You need to face the fact that in this ‘brave new world’ there is no workplace for people over 40 years old who do not have the perfect personally matched to the perfect skills, and experience for their respective career choice. Sorry, but that is just how I see it is today. And, really for the foreseeable future.

    1. Me too, unless you happen to be in the “right” field. I know people over 40 getting offered jobs but they are in certain fields in high demand. It’s mostly medical fields that provide a service. It’s why I am going back to school because my marketing and instructional design careers are over.

      1. Medical fields are shot.

        Hospitals are closing and all the medical people are visaed in — I told you guys about this; I saw this nearly 40 years ago when I was still a student in the lab.

        here are no jobs for med techs anymore. Nobody is hiring…and even if I tried to go back into the lab, they’d hesistate. I am considered out of the field too long and my skills would be too rusty for them.

        Plus I technically have nearly 40 years of experience. You think I will be paid accordingly??? I would not be paid for my skills or accrued years in the field.

        1. Here’s it’s the opposite, it seems to be the only field that still hires. Then again we have several world class hospitals so maybe that’s the difference.

          1. Yeah but how many of them are not viasaed in Filipinos???

            The Filipino Contingency ruined it for everybody — lots of them have 2 full time jobs.

            I should have seen how moot the point was on my first day as a student tech. Lab was full of Filipinos.

            Many were enrolled in the student med tech program…”preference is given to students from Faber College” my ASS — preference is given to Filipinos who then recommend their friends and that is who gets one of the 8 seats in the internship.

            With odds like these, how is the job field for med techs in YOUR favor? (no Hunger Games reference here) — what are the chances you’ll find a full time lab job upon graduation?

    2. Those are 3 communities where the rent is well out of my reach.

      I am not qualified for SSD. I tried to get it about a year and a half ago. It wouldn’t even be enough to live on — how do I make rent and pay for everything?

      He says he’s “trying to evict her”? If he didn’t do it after what I said on Saturday, her ass isn’t going anywhere.

      On an upnote, I read al about the brand new teachers in my former town. Starting at 60K a year! how’s that for entry level money?

      Somebody I know applied….and never heard a word….and another guy I know who is smart as a whip is still waiting to get hired after 4 and a half years.

  2. One option is to call the police every time that she knocks on your door and ignores the fact that you are ignoring the door and get her cited/arrested for disturbing the peace. This would give the landlord a paper trail to use to help evict her, because one of the grounds for eviction in New Jersey is disorderly conduct and/or disturbing the peace and quiet of other tenants. Eviction requires a 30-day notice, and getting the case heard might take longer than that. I would hope that summary judgement in favor of the landlord would be automatic should the tenant fail to appear in court after being served , but I doubt that is the case.

    I was evicted from an apartment about six years ago. I had paid all of my rent, but German law allows the owner of a property to evict a tenant on 60 days notice if they need it for their own use. The story that I got was that her husband had died and had left a half-interest in the apartment where she, her husband, and her son lived to a daughter from a previous marriage. I was able to find another place quickly, and was gone within 30 days. It was annoying to have to move at my own cost.

    1. Landlord could shrug the whole thing off, too.

      I figure if he didn’t evict her by now he’s not going to. What can I tell ya?

      This afternoon, I had 2 trucks in my driveway. Both guys (one in each truck) appeared to be working on one of the trucks

      Neither truck belongs to a tenant.

      Me (to guy in white truck) Excuse me, do you live here?
      Guy: No. I live there. (He indicates the house across the street)
      Me: Gee, this isn’t your driveway.
      Guy: Yeah, I know but we are here so we don’t get ticketed by the streetcleaner. We’ll be gone in a minute.


      There is a shopping center down the block. The 2 of them could have gone there until the streetcleaner was gone — they pull in somebody’s driveway? Gee, there is not only etiquette, but rules!

      He at least apologized but still: this isn’t your driveway.

    2. Call a cop? She could be gone by the time the cops arrive.

      I don’t think they would consider that disturbing the peace…the guy in the apartment on the side …now, that’s disturbing the peace! He screams — yes, at the top of his lungs, like he is violently arguing with somebody — and then I hear what sounds like furniture being knocked around.

      He does this on an average of once every couple weeks.

      I think he lives alone in there. When I pull up with the car, I see him standing in the driveway every so often. Doesn’t have much to say.:(

  3. Dude, I’m not sure how it is for jobs like techs. I know the more advanced fields are doing well. My brother got his doctorate in physical therapy and is paid well. What I’m going in, substance abuse counselor is hit and miss but there are jobs (though I’m going for the more advanced one that will allow me to be licensed and an option to do an online Ph.D program). Of course though these fields are ones that require at least a Master’s if not a doctorate and very high grades.

    1. When a field starts to increase the credentials required to practice the field, it is often the people who are already in the field who do best. Opticianry is a field where I got to watch the changes because three of my sisters were opticians. Only one still is, and I’d bet that Zenni Optical and other vendors of eyeglasses by mail are hurting her business.

      Back when my sisters started (1975-1980), one needed only about 12 semester hours of college-level classes to qualify for the New Jersey state board exams to be an ophthalmic technician (makes the glasses) or ophthalmic dispenser (does quality control and fits and sells the glasses). the important thing was getting enough apprenticeship time. For at least 20 years, they have required an associate degree in ophthalmic science for prospective licensees. There are also states that don’t require opticians to be licensed, though for them, it is desirable to take the American Board of Opticianry exams in a number of subjects, like how to fit contact lenses.

      I was surprised to learn that one can now earn a bachelor’s degree in dental hygiene. They offer it at the local community college.

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