What happened here???

The house is sold. We had 2 oil tanks to be removed before we could close on the house.

The buyer sent a tester for soil back in June. The soil came up positive for oil.

Removed the tanks (this was about 3weeks ago) and the close date was postponed pending Test #2 from soil 22 feet down — right near the bedrock.

The close date was projected to  be about August 22.

The soil test came up negative.

Here is the fun part:

Via an email from the realtor, sent to my atty (2 days ago) who forwarded it to me this past Monday, here is what I find out:

The soil report goes to the state and 2 weeks after that report is received by the state, we close.

The email then said that bro was all set to move out and “Dude has over 2 months to move.”

Today I called the realtor to ask her if she found any places for me to live — my dog is ill and has kidney failure; I need a place where dogs are accepted.

Realtor to me: Yes we have to get you moving right away.
Me, dopily: Moving right away? what do you mean? I have over 2 months left until I move out.
Realtor: No you don’t.
Me: Yes, I do — you said so yourself, via an email you sent Mr. G…
Realtor: I don’t remember an email like that…
ME: I will read it to you…(I get email and I read her the entire copy) and that’s what you said 2 days ago, via my atty. I have over 2 months to move.
Realtor: Oh. I sometimes write like that. You have 2 weeks to get out, not 2 months.

WHAT?????

You “sometimes write like that” and this is your egregious error….and now I am in a jam, because of YOU???

She did not apologize for the error or say much at all. WOW — how could you make such an error!

I’m telling her that I am not ready to move yet and why did she even say it at all, that I’ve got over 2 months to move out…I went on and on like some kind of moron — she never apologized!!!! and holy crap, the suggestions I got:

1-Give away my dog.

2-Move in with somebody. “Maybe you can go to CA with your cousin you mentioned; sell all of your furniture in 2 weeks…It’s like a vacation when you go out there!”

“I can put you in an apartment for a year but you have to pay the entire 12 months up front. You haven’t got a full time job and they want paystubs and a credit report…”

Uh huh — that is 22 grand of my money and suppose the landlord isn’t the greatest or things go unfixed or something happens on his end? “Oh you will have to eat it…”

BULLSHIT!

A landlord may not even approve of such an arrangement! That would be full of liability for me, if I was the landlord. I’d say no!

HOW could the both of you made such an egregious error??? She got it all wrong and ATTY didn’t even READ HER ERROR????

I called Atty. “Oh yeah I just saw that email just now…” HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE MUCH TO SAY! HE SHOULD BE STARK RAVING MAD…

And he didn’t even NOTICE the error she made when he got her email??? How is it you never noticed that, Atty?HOW???

what do I do with these 2? Fire their asses? String ’em up by their thumbs? Try her as a witch and then burn her at the stake and run him outta town on a rail?!

How could they both fark this up and fark this up so badly that it’s mind blowing???

As of right before I called realtor this afternoon at 2pm, is that I had over 2 months to move out — and suppose I did not call her today…or at any time from here and now until September 1???? I get a big surprise when the developer-buyer shows up here and has equipment with him or whatever he does for step one of razing a house???

I would like to revoke her commission and tell ATTY to shit in his hat and not pay him at all. What a fuck up and what a MAJOR MAJOR one!!!

My cousin from CA says “Stay there and let the buyer evict you” — holy crap, none of this advice is good! I had the realtor tell me “give away your dog…sell all of your furniture and move to CA and it’ll be like a vacation for you…” Woman, are you THIS dumb, really??? ARE YOU???

This is bad news, all around. HOW can anybody be this stupid?

Apartments yielded nothing on my own end. Nobody much within reasonable distance is advertising something I can afford. And I sure don’t believe nobody wants to take a tenant with a dog.

I also do not buy it that nobody will rent to somebody who can pay cash up front, employed, self employed per diem seasonal or OTHER.

Atty is telling me to try Jersey City and Hoboken! Jersey City is expensive and Hoboken is out of my reach!

This is a mess and a fark up and big time.

I don’t have any more solutions.

And suppose I tell the landlord I am a displaced divorcee (say my husband and I just split up and the last job I had was 14 years ago and I was a homemaker all along until we split up) or that I am retired??? Suppose I show the landlord what my bank account balance is, right after the sale closes and I get my share of the proceeds??? Going to have a problem believing me when I say I can pay? Very doubtful.

What a mess. And a big one.