Update on Fred

For those who post here probably know I have a friend I call “Fred” (not his real name) because someone here named him after Fred Astaire, both because he dances but also because he would stare. It did graduate to talking and getting together on a platonic level. I was invited to his mom’s big 80 year old bash and my mom had a few people over for my dad’s birthday and I invited him. We are friends but apparently nothing else. I’ve tried and nothing.  I’ve given up on him. I probably should have sooner to be honest but he kept dangling this carrot as in “maybe we’ll go out”.

So I am going to do online dating again but with a twist. No more looking for a relationship since it’ll never happen. Instead I am putting up photos and trying to get the most desperate men and use them for things. They deserve it and this is my way of getting revenge at all the men who have done me wrong.  It’s obvious men don’t look at me as relationship material so why bother? I have a young guy who thinks I’m hot so I’m going to have sex with him. I need sex and waiting for a relationship is stupid since God has decided I am not worthy. When I did online before all I got were pieces of trash. Mostly unwanted men and lots of dads. NOT interested in a dad, not interested in being a stepmother, YUCK.

I am so mad I got hurt again, THANKS GOD.

6 thoughts on “Update on Fred”

  1. I hate clichés but man, I feel for you.

    You wonder what it is all about: the nastiest bastards you knew in high school found these guys….and they have nice happy families. There are even grandkids so you know the nasty blood line continues.

    You gotta wonder what it’s about. You aren’t noticed and nobody asks you out and you don’t know why.

    I don’t like the online thing and here is why:

    There are very few guys who come to a dating website with the express reason of finding a girlfriend. THey use the website to socialize, more or less — when somebody new is no the scene, they make a career out of corresponding with her. Who wants a pen pal? Not me.

    This is the same kind of bunch who populates those singles dances that used to be so popular in our area — $15 to stand on a wall and maybe ask a woman to dance??? Why are you wasting OUR time?

    There is also no honesty. That photo you are looking at could be 10 years ago and taken when the guy had all of his hair.

    If you are bald, show it. if you are large, show it. And if you know you haven’t the greatest of physiques, show it. That’s life.

    1. Exactly. I am so bummed about the whole thing, which is why I hang on to Fred. He is a good guy, he just has problems. However those problems are an issue that I can’t get mixed up with. I have enough problems and taking on his is too much. I did everything right, I went to school and got a career (now gone but you know what I mean). It sounds exactly like job hunting. I did try to find decent men when I was younger but struggled. I always hear about these “nice” guys but I didn’t meet a lot. I met nice guys, even dated one but it wasn’t meant to be. I still talk to him, and do so with many exes. Other exes are jerks and I avoid them.

      It is a lot like job hunting because some of the nastiest people I know have jobs and marriages and I have neither. Why not? I am pretty, at least I thought so (former model in my 20’s), I am educated, not fat (I’ve lost weight actually and am starting to be very slim, but never was even overweight).I would make someone a great girlfriend. Instead they go after someone else and I sit here alone. When I did online, ugh. I am not saying he has to be handsome and rich but decent looking at least. Most of the guys were scraping bottom like 400 pound men who admit they sit around all the time, and baby daddies. Of course my dealbreaker was dads and they loved me. I assume they see a childless older educated woman and they think “cha ching”. Ha, not only don’t I have money, even if I did I’m not sharing it with his baby mama or his spawn.

      1. TYhough you can certainly tell when you see the ones who have settled.

        Case in point: this one chick who thought she was so cute got married at 37. She’s the breadwinner; he’s self employed and she has a civil service job. Making at least 6 figures by now.

        I met him once, at a party a neighbor had (she was there) and I couldn’t figure out what was so great about him. He talked like ha had a couple of woogies stuck in his throat; I found him to be a bit backwards and kind of dull. I wonder where she found him.

        I think online stinks. This is surburbia hell that I live in and this was never a town and community for the single adult. There aren’t even any more places to go on weekends where you can go with a bunch of girlfriends and dance and have a few drinks and get a few laughs — that’s all gone — the only clubs that are left seem to be for the Hispanic crowd. Salsa night this and reggatone night that. WOW — what about something for us over 40 who want to dance to something like classic disco and maybe some of the better 90s dance mixes???

        1. Luckily I live near Chicago so I’m looking that way. There are many never married childless around but most don’t hang around on dating sites. There’s the problem. Those on dating sites are scraping bottom. I know people who met quality but they were few and far. I have a friend who settled. He always had the hots for me but he was a Christian fundie and I don’t do the submission thing well. He wanted a woman who would pop out baby after baby and never work outside the home. Not me so he moved on. His wife is very obese and unattractive and sounds very dumb. However she caters to him and has 5 kids and counting. Up until a few years ago he told me I was the one he was attracted to and he thought of me during sex (yeah gross).

          1. He sounds like he’s either living in cromag man time or he’s into that whole quiverfull movement. (look that one up; you’ll get a real eyeful)

            Are you into anything outdoorsy? Maybe even fishing?

            The “real” men aren’t coming to Catholic stuff (I have yet to meet a “cool” guy that likes to go to church; somehow “cool” and church doesn’t mesh) and they aren’t going to singles clubs activities. They aren’t going to wine tastings. In short, they are not going to anything “girly.”

            It is even tougher for our age category: I am nearing 60 and I am wondering what kind of decent guys there are that are my age. I won’t date anybody older than 60 and I will not do the younger guy thing (I hve been there and done it and forget it: they always show their age in the end). Maybe 5 years younger and it has to be a guy who is a “young” 55 or “young” 60: still going and doing and active with sports and keeping in shape and has A LIFE.

            Somebody in good health; I do not want a guy so full of pills that he rattles.

            There is something odd about a guy who wants somebody very unattractive and very out of shape. They say the “gay” theory checks in but you gotta wonder: what kind of red blooded male LIKES that kind of a woman?

            I still advocate what I suggested a long time ago:

            You get a bunch off female friends together; go somewhere for a meet up at a happy hour or karaoke night — the only “rule” is that they have to bring a friend of the opposite sex as the “price of admission” — this is still a great way to get people to mix and meet. And I say the best way to meet somebody is via a friend — he or she can vouch for the person — or from something that is a commom cause.

  2. My friend wasn’t looking for someone like her lookswise, it was all he could find. She was obviously desperate to be a housewife and cater to him and since most men don’t want that now he was the only choice. It’s sad but bed, made, lie. I don’t feel bad because he liked me but we never dated because of this issue. He is a quiverful and yes they plan to have as many kids as possible. I feel for the girls (he has 4)because no doubt they are learning mommy’s job is to be at home and daddy is boss and works. I couldn’t handle that.

    I’m not big on fishing but have done it. I like some outdoorsy things like camping but not a lot of others. I do enjoy playing sports and thought of joining a sporting team of some sort and looking for one around here. There was a singles group that did physical activities for the group, like one month they may go white water rafting. The problem though is you have to be selected and pay a yearly fee. I’m struggling money wise which prevents a lot of this. Not to mention this is a group for professionals and since I’m not one anymore who knows. Hopefully I will be soon but who knows.

    I’ve noticed men when they get older get weird and delusional. When I did online all these 60 year old men contacted me. I was 39-41 I didn’t want a man old enough to be my father.

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