I was the one who ended the meeting.

I got sick of hearing the whole thing swung in Bro’s favor by bro’s attorney.

I don’t even know where I can begin on this one.

The other guy had the floor nearly the whole time — and he spun the whole thing in Bro’s favor.

How Bro could get a loan due to his earning record and that I could get the cash for half the house and just GO!

It was sickening.

We never got around to discussing the damages or the made up data or the key issue or anything.

Then there was this:

Bro: I just want to bury the hatchet.
His atty (in this sing songy condescending voice; my stomach was turning the whole time): Well, we can figure out how much the bills cost per quarter….there’s the tax, the homeowners and the water…maybe we can get a nother water meter… you pay for you own cable, right? And we can settle things this way. You and he have been together for a long time…isn’t that what we are all here for? to make sure this is all done peacefully?
Me (interrupting and sarcastic as hell) IF this is such a great idea, Bro — why haven’t YOU been doing this all along????

Bury the hatchet?

he is acting like I was the one causing him the problem!

This is just his way of lying his way out of it and making it look like he’s a great guy.

Sickening is what it was.

They are acting like I’m some kind of 8 year old kid who is going to be bribed with a trip to the zoo and then I’m going to meekly go the fuck away.

No: the bottom line is I want to buy him out — using a way that I have ready — “not possible because that is credit and that’s not what Bro wants”?  What Bro wants??? WHY is he getting A CHOKCE! HE is the one in arrears here!

That other sob more or less laughed at what I suggested. How is it CREDIT??? Look a the circumstances behind it, guy — what I think happened here with this is that he simply did not want that option.

This damn farking guy is nothing but a prick indeed and this was tactics clear out of a combination of a nursery school teacher and used car salesmanship.  The voice alone was enough to make you want to strangle somebody — and who is he, really, to talk like that to anybody???

Bury the hatchet? Really and truly, Bro???

How are you going to repair years of damage? How are you going to repair the animosity you have for me? How are you going to take  every damn year that you messed up and somehow make it right for me???

I feel bad enough already.

And what “he can get a loan based on his earning power”? Really, Counsel? A shitty sales job in  retail and he is now working part time and has been since March — and on top of this, he has bad credit and a shit tonne of debt. He’s also had his salary garnished.

So how is he going to get ‘a loan?”

I have a sneaking suspicion that I know where this money will come from —- and no, that isn’t going to happen.

An agreement that he pays half and I pay half?

None of that will be possible; I haven’t got a job and whatever art I sell is still few and far in between. (also there are no orders on tha business I began; I got the idea that my establishment, as it were, is too cool for the people of this town — I have limited funds and I can’t spend any more money getting the word out)

ANd if I can’t afford to pay half of my agreement, you know what that is going to mean.

Such a mess and I don’t know how it will be possible for him to take the buyout and go — fcuk “he wants the money in hand.” too damn farking bad what HE wants — he has already inflicted too much damage!

Why should ever bit of this be swung in HIS favor???? he is the one who killed my FINANCES! Why shouldn’t he be the underdog here? Why isn’t he simply ordered to give up his half the house, I buy him out and then he leaves???

Holy crap. just HOLY CRAP…. I still can’t believe any of this is happening to me.

This whole meeting was Bro Bro Bro — what do you think? that his counsel is going to go, “bad bad boy; pay the damages and consequences”? He wants the best deal FOR HIM!

22 thoughts on “Well…”

  1. The purpose of having a lawyer is to advocate for the client. It sounds like Bro’s lawyer did just that. However, all that he succeeded in doing was to buy more time for Bro.

    What is the process to call in the judge to rule on the matter and grant the partition? You’ve had the meeting, and no satisfactory offer was presented, and you have no reason to hope that a satisfactory offer will be forthcoming. You should be able to proceed to having the judge decide now. What the lawyer said was all pie in the sky stuff. If you are tenants in common, he can borrow against the house without your permission if he is willing to sign a deed of trust and the bank is willing to lend to him. With his credit history, this is likely to be a much more expensive loan than someone with a high credit score would get.

    If he cannot afford to pay even upkeep expenses, how is he going to pay off some loan? He would need to borrow (say) 75% of the value of the house to pay you off and buy your interest in the house.

    1. I can also use the bought time to my advantage. Which is just what I will indeed do.

      I suspect something is behind the scenes with Bro.

      I am using the “bought time” to my advantage. I have a few more phone calls to make and a few more entities to speak to. And in all honesty, nobody is going to accept a solution on the spot. Yes, they will wait and think it over or look at other solutions.

      1. Even if you believe that people will wait and consider other solutions, you also have an idea of what you want to get out of the situation as well as what the minimum that you will accept is. Is there a situation where you would accept half the value of the house and full restitution of the debt, with or without interest? Any solution to your situation involves someone coming up with enough money to get an undivided interest in the house, though having Girlfriend buy into the house is a possibility.

        In my experience, offers on real estate are time-limited. When I write a contract, I state that the offer is good for three days or some other, reasonably short, period of time. Failure to respond to the offer is considered non-acceptance. Acceptance of the offer is also binding on the acceptor provided that the offeror meets the terms of the contract, such as giving earnest money.

        Even if she has debt, Girlfriend is a better credit risk than Bro due to her steady income, and buying out your half of the house, even if that includes paying off Bro’s debt, might be the only entry into the real estate market in your area that she can afford. I think that she’d be stupid to do it, but you’ve claimed that she is not that bright. They do have a history.

  2. Unfortunately, he gets to set the terms under which he will sell his interest in the house to you, barring a court order to sell the house. If you are offering him a promissory note at certain terms for half the value of the house less what he owes you, he is fully within his rights to turn that offer down at this point in time. It is similar to me turning down the request of a prospective buyer of my house to carry the mortgage for them almost a decade ago. He would also be correct to wonder how you would make those payments if that’s the case.

    You also have the ability to set terms under which you would buy his interest in the house, as well as terms under which you would be willing to sell. It is probably to your benefit to come to a negotiated price rather than a forced sale, which would probably depress the price that you would get for the house, even if you recouped debt and interest in full.

    The lawyer has shown you his playbook. He wants you to agree to reduce the amount of the debt that Bro owes you, preferably to zero. He might subsequently argue that if Bro occupies a smaller amount of square footage than you do, that his share of the property tax should be reduced for all years, which would offset some portion of the debt. The weakness of that argument is that if he owns 50% of the house, he should pay 50% of the expenses.

    Should the judge order that the house be sold, a probable outcome is that you would get half of the net sales price plus whatever debt that the judge feels is sufficiently documented.

  3. Another question is whether another meeting has been set, or whether you have to go through the whole “serve a subpoena” process again. I’d also insist on some ground rules, such as a limited amount of time for each lawyer to offer a specific proposal to resolve your situation. Until the material issues are reduced to writing in a formal proposal, they don’t count for a whole lot. All that you are doing is arguing.

  4. No other meeting has been set. This is MY turn to use the time to my advantage.

    He brought WHO with him? This person also works for a law firm; he tried to engage her firm way back in the winter but that’s why he asked for another 35 day delay: her firm was too expensive for him and he needed to find another venue that was cheaper for him to afford.

    I do not like the fact this person has been in on my business. And yes he is still seeing her — as I said, I want to keep the bullshit soap opera out of it but you can see how sick this is and it leaves ME exposed and with somebody in on my private business. I have every right to be pissed at that . Yes — but you can’t stop him from doing what he wants and that’s the whole shit part of it. Can’t you see how sick this is on his part?

    1. One thing that struck me as I read through your recounting of the meeting is the extent to which Bro relies on a combination of charm and expecting you to feel sorry for him to keep you behaving as he wants you to act. What he doesn’t understand is that you have given up hope that he will straighten out, and you just want him gone.

      Most of what he does seems calculated to throw you off balance. He seems to feel like he needs to have someone else to back him up beyond the lawyer. As you’ve pointed out, it’s a small town and people will talk. You can’t do anything about it, and even though it sucks, all that you can do is behave well. What the paralegal knows doesn’t particularly matter, uncomfortable as that is for you. You’re not the person who has failed in their obligations.

      It seems odd to me that you look at this period of time as time to plan, when you should have been planning all along. Give some thought to ground rules, such as the only attendees at the next meeting will be the lawyers, you, Bro, and no one else, and that the meeting will be limited to each side presenting their proposals for resolving the issue of the unpaid debts that Bro owes you and what you are offering to buy the other side out. Pre-approval documents for loans or letters from people who are willing to lend money should be presented in these proposals. If the instructions that the court gave you was to have the four-party meeting, you should be able to exclude from the meeting anyone who has no standing in the case, which is anyone other than you and Bro and your legal representatives, There is no reason for the paralegal to be there. She has no financial interest in the case.

      Talk to your lawyer, but your best path forward may be to call in the judge, given how unprepared Bro was. If I was trying to negotiate to buy you out, I would have a specific proposal, financial documents that prove that I have access to that amount of money or credit, and a date by which the offer must be accepted or rejected. All of this would be in writing. You would then have the ability to make a counteroffer, and then we would negotiate on the differences in our proposals. If Bro is just disavowing the debt, then you have a problem and the judge needs to rule on it.

  5. I have about 2 more weeks until I see atty next and within the last few hours there was this:

    I have a dilapidated garage; long story why it got that way. it was an ongoing problem that stretched back years.

    Anyway, I got a notice about a month ago. I had one guy come out to see the garage and I told the guy to tell his boss to call me.

    Boss never called me but a building violation in his name (nothing checked off on it under the heading “Action to be taken”). Today, I dropped in to Boss’ office with a copy of the violation and a letter telling Boss to please call me so he can come out to see about the garage; I told him that there was a story attached to the garage.

    About 2 hours ago, some guy showed up — Bro said he called Boss’ office and it was suggested by Boss that Bro call the guy who came out.

    It’s some little Hispanic guy who cannot speak English.

    Anyways, Bro is telling me “I am going to fix the garage since I have the money for it!” GF got invoved in this, too, telling me that “you’ll be fined so it should be fixed.”

    Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive.

    Help me Rhonda. Will ya????

    All of a sudden “he” has the money to fix the garage??? the thing has to be torn down and rebuilt! I looked into a prefab garage months ago and the price isn’t cheap. This also doesn’t include labor, assembly and so forth.

    His money?

    No, this is HER money and this is why I didn’t want her her and only he and I. Do you see why I’m so upset and why her being here is making the whole thing even more dicey???

    This situation is worsening. WHY I do not want anybody in the picture but Bro and I but it isn’t going to be that way!

  6. Girlfriend is at risk for getting her money back on the garage because she is spending money on property that she does not own. She would need to sue for recovery if you or Bro won’t pay. Generally, when someone staying at a house (rented or other living arrangement) that they do not own makes improvements to it, the improvements belong to the owner. I just went through pricing such a contract for the training department where I work. We are required to leave all of the cubicles and other similar furniture behind when we vacate the building in about a decade. They won’t be worth much by then, but that’s what we negotiated.

    Her presence does muddy the water, but she’s the one taking the chance. It just stresses you out because she has no business living there, and she forced the issue of getting the garage demolished and rebuilt. You could take the view that you are accepting the work as a GIFT, and making that abundantly clear to her. Alternatively, you could have your lawyer draft a “cease and desist” letter because she has no right to make any sort of change to your house.

    1. And I told you guys: Bro does not ask questions. Je is liable to sign for anything.

      An engineer needs to be there to have a look at the place — I had one out here years ago and he could not draw a conclusion what happened; he gave me 3 or 4 theories but he said *anything* could be at hand.

      Yanking it down is el;ementary compared to the rest. The rest is a very major project. Personally I say it’s better to yank down the garage and just put a nice sized shed there instead.

      1. When I went to small claims court to sue my handyman, the case before mine involved a brother who had paid for his sister to move to Colorado and who wouldn’t pay him back for the moving expenses, which were around $5K. She had moved out of the brother’s home and married another man, so the situation had gone on for a while. The judge ruled in his favor, ordering the sister to repay him, because the sister had asked how much she owed him. Had she presumed that the moving expenses were a gift, the judge said, she would have ruled in the sister’s favor.

        An advantage that you have is that you are home a lot, and can send the guy who comes to work on the garage away. What can he do, call the police and say that the owner won’t let him do work on a property that the person paying for the work doesn’t own? She has no right to do this even if Bro signs off on it.

        If you can be made whole for the debt and half the value of the house, take the money and run, The house will be in foreclosure within two years with Bro and Girlfriend running things. Buy a house in another part of the country where you can pay cash with the money. I grew up in New Jersey and lived there for 27 years, and it is by far the least-lovely place that I have ever lived.

        1. This house is free and clear and paid for. No foreclosure.

          What the F should SHE get a house FOR FREE????

          It isn’t all that easy for me to pull up stakes and leave — I will be 60 within a few years. And it isn’t all that easy to pull up roots.

          In addition to the job and this bullshit with the home, I have quite a lot I am contending with. Not to mention being out of work a long time rewires your brain — I’m not the same person I was before this mess began after I got laid off.

          And while I was employed there things were not pretty. Business was dead within 3 months and I started looking for another job right about then; things were getting testy with the owner, I didn’t like the way she ran the business and I didn’t like the way she treated people in general.

          All of this adds up and takes a toll on you.

          This place would bein foreclosure?


          GF has a LOT of money. She is sitting on a small fortune from her father’s estate plus she is making 60 grand a year.

          She’s not a traveler and she is not a partier. She hasn’t even taken that kid on a vacation this summer. And the dad pays child support.

          She has a small fortune. I am the odd woman out here, thanks to what Bro did to my finances.

          Remember what the raises and bullshit is like with their union: it’s phat city for every single public school teacher in this state.

          No this place would not go into foreclosure. This also would be a victory for them. And I need a home for MY personal security.

          1. Girlfriend might be in a position to buy you out for cash. I was presuming that she would need to borrow in order to buy you out. Were I in her shoes, I would negotiate for a price that takes into account the fact that the garage needs to be demolished and whatever other repairs are required, rather than paying for the garage demo up front. I’d also want the house to be inspected so that I could adjust the offer accordingly.

            If she’s doing this just because she can, she’s a moron. It would be a lot simpler to buy a house that is newer and doesn’t need extensive repairs. It would be a mistake to co-own a house with Bro because he doesn’t pay his bills. If I had the money to buy a house, I would prefer to keep the title only in my name so that I could kick out Bro when I wanted to do so.

            True, you need a house for personal financial security, but you don’t necessarily need THIS particular house. The choices available to you are not acceptable to you, because you’ve said that even if Bro brought his debt current, you don’t want to live with him, and you don’t have the money to buy him out. Someone would have to be willing to lend to you privately to buy out Bro, because I doubt that a bank would want to lend to someone who has been unemployed as long as you have. You would be dependent on a tenant to pay the periodic expenses, and one big expense would blow things apart, as you are learning now with the garage demo.

            You don’t like the neighborhood or the people, so if Bro and Girlfriend can come up with a reasonable offer, take it, and live somewhere that housing costs are lower. I live in a town in southeastern Colorado where a fairly nice house can be had for $100K. True, the housing stock is on the old and small side and we have our share of trailer parks, but my property tax is $600 a year versus the ten times (or more) that you pay.

            Doing well for yourself is more important that worrying about Bro and Girlfriend “winning”.

  7. I would be playing a different long game were I Girlfriend. I wouldn’t worry so much about the garage, but I would worry about making my finances look good so that I could qualify for a mortgage to buy you out. If I had to pay back Bro’s debt to get you out of there, I’d insist that the new deed would be made out to give me 75% of the ownership. There is nothing in the law that requires that co-owners are equal owners, but you have to spell it out in the documents to have unequal ownership.

    I am tremendously biased in favor of sole ownership of property, even though it carries the burden of paying all of the upkeep myself. The problem that you and Bro both have is that neither of you can afford the upkeep on the house on your own. Someone else has to be brought in as a billpayer, be it a tenant or Girlfriend. Whether the rent on the apartment that Bro currently occupies is enough to cover the upkeep on the house is open to debate, because a large single expense, such as needing to replace a furnace, would bring things to a screeching halt. The only advantage that you would enjoy in such a case is that the repair work could be deducted from your rental income if the furnace that needed replacing was the one in the rental unit.

    I am inclined to trust a landlord-tenant relationship a lot more than a romantic one. Girlfriend knows Bro’s history, and if she thinks that he has changed, she’s screwed. She left once before and can leave again. That she is willing to spend money on fixing/demolishing the garage indicates that she is not leaving yet, but like most people, she probably has no idea of what it costs to demo the garage and have the stuff carried off, much less erect a new structure, whether it is a full garage or just a shed. If you have power in the garage, that needs to be terminated back at the house if you are not reconstructing the garage, or you could leave a termination at the garage site to allow power to be run into the new structure at a later date.

  8. She is doing this for her own sole intentions. NOT out of love or for the goodness of her heart.

    She is all about money and other people’s money.

    And since this is now a “WE hold the pursestrings and you do not” maybe it is better this house is sold asap. I don’t know. This is a BIG decision for me to make and I have so many more troubles of my own. It’s getting too much for me to take.

    I didn’t expect to be without a job, ever. It really makes you wonder why something like this happened at all. Is it some kind of punishment? I don’t know.

    There ws a whole other scene here last night about the garage — this morning I was told by the building inspection office that it has to come down asap. “You stay out of this, I wil take care of it. I will pay for it since you can’t” as per Bro. (and no, you won’t be paying for it: this is on her dime and you ain’t got one red cent to your name)

    The 2 of them are going to go the hell ahead? What do I do now? Battle it out at the OK Corral with this shithead brother of mine??? He can’t sign for that contractor alone; holy crap, this is a major undertaking. You need to check references and a whole platoon of other things. I am telling you: he knows NOTHING at all and he won’t read fine print.

    Holy SHIT.

    That’s all I have to say about the whole thing.

    1. Selling your house under pressure never gets you the best possible price, but you have to ask what you want as well as what you can have. From what you’ve said, the best possible outcome for you would leave you in debt to your brother or some bank, rather than with a house where you don’t have to make a mortgage payment. My guess is that your monthly expenses would at least double. Without any steady income, that is a hard thing to accept. You would just be bled by the repayments.

      To get her money back, Girlfriend would have to sue for recovery. the judgement would have to be against both of you in order for her to recover anything from you. She can’t hang the whole thing on you. It is not a good thing to sue one’s boyfriend.

      One thing that I would worry about is the demolition company getting a “mechanic’s lien” on your house should Girlfriend not pay for the work. That would sit there, accumulating interest, until such time as your house is sold. They would be paid first from the proceeds of your house.

      There are at least four costs to any demolition: cost of any required permits, labor, equipment, and cost of hauling the stuff away and having it dumped. Dumpster rental and tipping fees would be included in that dumping cost. When one prices dumpsters, it is a flat rate for a dumpster of a given volume, and you can use it for so long, and there are overage charges if the dumpster exceeds a certain weight. You might get a discount on the demo costs if there are recoverable materials such as brick and metal in the garage. If the company owns their own dumpsters you might get a better price, but dumpsters for home use are usually priced based on filling it up once and having it hauled away in a given period of time, which leaves you open to the possibility of needing to rent more than one dumpster.

      I appreciate just how complicated doing a demolition is, but he and Girlfriend want to run out there with sledgehammers for all that I know. Did you check to see whether there is any state funding available from Superstorm Sandy for the demolition? You were probably in the storm path. tell that that you’ve been sick for a couple of years. If you have homeowners insurance that covers the garage, you might be able to get some help there.

      Deciding whether to sell the house is a big decision, but the first step to selling the house is getting a court order for the partition because Bro will never agree to sell the house at any price. You need to have law enforcement on your side. When the sale is ordered, Bro and Girlfriend can be removed from the house by law enforcement to allow the new owners to occupy the house.

      1. I think I would have been better off suing him for the damages and straightaway selling the house.

        I put a pretty penny into this entire lawsuit. Everything got garbled up: too slow with the service, he goes and asks for 35 more days, then it was get this for evidence and that — and it looks like even THAT will be refutable, even if it is down in clear black and white he contributed nothing.


        None of this is cut and dried and he’s not automatically liable for the damages.

        Funny though if we didn’t pay our federal tax, we would be sent to jail. And we are liable for it and it’s not negotiable.

        The direction I am leaning in:

        Selling this house.

        I am nearing 60. It will be a lot of upkeep for me.

        There are repairs that need to be done: roof, a driveway replaced, a back porch replaced (and in all fairness, I TRIED with the back porch; none of these caprenters wants a little job! And years ago an ole boyfriend and his buddy wanted to build one for me — yeah, I’d pay them — but then I broke up with the guy and I never got the back porch repaired)

        This is also no longer a nice area. What’s moving into this town isn’t the usual people.

        And in the middle of this, it’s find a job and get some type of income coming in here.

        I have a lot on my plate. A LOT on my plate. And I am ashamed of myself. I am sorry I didn’t get rid of Bro years ago — when this house got involved, either sell it or buy him out or let him buy me out. That was years ago.

        None of this is easy to take and the decisions are not going to be easy.

        Bro isn’t expecting me to say this house is being sold. Not expecting it at all. Yeah, well, that’s live.

        Part ways with him and say goodbye to him and his lies and the codepencency that grew here; this isn’t a normal family relationship. I hate him and anything he does — and let him take his sexual sideshow with him. Go and tell your new landlord “I haven’t got the rent money” and “Tomorrow I will fill the oil tank.” See what the F happens to you after that.

        After this place sells, looking into getting a very small house with one floor and 2 bedrooms – maybe a little patio and a smallish garden attached to it, sort of like the house that is in back of me. Something that’s in an artist community where there is a bona fide art scene attached to it.

        1. If you wanted to sell the house immediately, he would have to agree. The reason to get the partition action is to force the sale without his consent. If you want to have some fun at Bro’s expense, find out who his creditors are, and write them very polite letters after you have gotten paid for the house and inform them that he got a share of the sales proceeds and whatever money from your uncle. See how quickly they sniff it out.

          I can appreciate what you say about not wanting upkeep. I bought a brick 1000 sq, ft. house with two bedrooms in a decent neighborhood so that I wouldn’t have to paint it, and I’d always wanted a brick house. I knew that the job that I had taken involved shift work, and I wouldn’t have the time or the inclination to do a lot of work around the house.

          Women have to fight the socialization to be nice and to please others. Not even an engineering degree and years on construction sites have trained that out of me. It’s fine to be courteous, but I’m not going to put myself out very much.

          1. Find out who his creditors are???

            That’s a list of entities as long as War and Peace!

            He would agree to the sale anyway , I would think — he would get the better of the deal.

            He hasn’t got the money to fix the roof, to pull down the garage and to refit and replace all of the windows, among other things. And I doubt if that hag he is with will put up the money for it.

            I’m done here.

            I’ve gone through hell with that guy and I have other worries and cares I want too concentrate my energies on. I got tired of having my life pass me by — this is nearly a year of this mess with doing something about being his free ride.

            And GF is getting NOTHING MUCH.

            If Bro treats me like shit, he cannot honor his word when it comes to a home he owns with me, he can’t keep promises he made and he cannot uphold an agreement, what makes you think he will be any different with YOU, sis? If I could not depend on him, what makes you think you can, sis?

            When you look for a mate, you look for character.

            Not looks, not a great body, not a gift of gab, not how hot the person is in the sack. Character is where it is at.

            He’s got zero character. None at all whatsoever.

  9. Once I knew that partition actions existed, I was under the impression that you have two actions to pursue: have the court rule in your favor and recognize some or all of the debt and obtain a lien against the house for that debt, and obtain the partition action to force the sale of the house so that you get paid for your half of the house less selling costs PLUS whatever the amount of the debt and any interest accrued by the time that the house is sold.

    Having a lien on the house would give you standing similar to a mortgage holder. The lien has to be paid off before the house can be transferred to anyone else, and so reduces the amount that Bro would receive from the sale of the house. The advantage that you have is that you know of an asset where a lien can be placed so that when a judgement is made in your favor, you have a place where the court can help you collect the debt. Having the lien without the ability to force the sale of the house isn’t worth very much.

  10. I believe that the best predictor of what someone will do is what they have done in the past, barring some significant change in their circumstances or situation. IF you believe that Bro will agree to the sale, it is in your interest to go to small claims court and get an award for the amount of the debt, if it does not exceed what small claims court can award. If it is more, you might consider filing for whatever the maximum is. This is something that you can do without a lawyer and for no more than a couple of hundred dollars, if the fees to file a small claims case in New Jersey are comparable to what they charge in Colorado, but he would still have to be served to appear, but this can be service by mail. Then you have to get the judgement registered, which means finding an asset to which you can attach a lien for the amount of the judgement and filing the required paperwork with the court. You have the house to which to attach the lien, and a title search company will discover the lien and that will be something that he has to pay off, usually out of the proceeds of the sale of the house, before the house can be transferred to the new owners. If you go through all of this and he doesn’t agree to sell the house, you can still chase the partition action.

  11. All of this is more or less *my fault* inasmuch as that I knew what he was before this house even materialized on the horizon.

    A person is who he is right now. Not in 5 more minutes from now, not tomorrow and not in the next year or ten trillion years.

    What you see is what you get.

    Based on that, make plans to sell the house and leave it at that. I would have been way ahead of the game by now.

    There is nothing I can do about this mess, except get this house sold and I ditch Bro there and then and do not leave a forwarding address. Find a nice place to live with only me as the owner, in a community where there is a good arts scene and something to benefit ME, a single woman. (at this point, finding a boyfriend is the furthest thing from my mind and considering I am in a big mess, I am not in a guy finding mood)

    Get as far away from Bro and GF as I can: that’s the best thing to do.

    Know what else I think?

    She will take Bro for every penny he’s got. Wouldn’t that be poetic justice. Let him take her to court and duke it out with her. And as for me, I will be far far away at that point and hopefully living a happier and better life.

    And when you’re hanging by a thread and she’s left you in a shambles, gee, who are you gonna call?

    Not I. I won’t give a good fook what happened to you. You wet the bed, you SLEEP in it, guy.

    None of this is benefiting me. I am sick of worrying and sick of this mess that I have on my hands and coping with Bro himself is more than a chore and handful. A guy like this needs to live with a parent for his entire life: for the purpose of damage control.

    Good riddance to bad rubbish. I dsserve happiness and a good live and no bleeping sword of Damocles hanging over my head.

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