Living in a nightmare

I just told Bro what the story is: how much he owes me and that I can no longer own a home with him and what his options were: Partition agreement, buyout, sell the house.

He would not listen to reason. He saw the amount and told me he had no way to pay it and that he could not meet my deadline — I gave him until December 1.And that with commissions and the distribution from the stock he can easily pay it

When I told him he had the distribution and his commissions, he said “I need the money to pay everybody else off” and he is still insisting his debt is about 30 grand.

He does not want to make good on this.  This is an easy way out for him, hand up the distribution money — that maybe will be 20 grand — and he still has commission money each week.  No go and a NO.

He got verbally abusive and screamed; I called the cops so it would be a matter of record he got out of line and that if anything happened, I more or less wanted it on record what he did today.

He would not listen to the options being I cannot own a home with him. I said “Bro, I am telling you now I may have to take you to court rather than blindsiding you; I am giving you a chance to make good.” He wouldn’t listen.

I heard part of the statement he gave to the cops. He turned it around and made it all about the girlfriend. that wasn’t it at all. How I wanted “to draw a line down the center of the house” (that’s how he interpreted “partition action”) and how I wanted to evict her (I told her I asked and I was told by atty I cold not).  “She just doesn’t like her and she wants my gf out of here….”  Good grief.

The cops spoke to me; I told them he wasn’t happy when I told him I would have to take him to court to pay up on money he owed me.  These cops may think I/we are nuts. I don’t even care anymore: I want this to end and I have had enough.

I am sorry I just didn’t sue him outright with no warning. Maybe I would have avoided a scene like I just had today.

He’s telling me that there is no way I can take out a loan using this house as collateral.  And that my credit score probably wasn’t good enough to do it anyway and that he will have the loan blocked.

There is nobody to talk to about this. I have exactly 2 close friends and they are not around; this morning I alerted the executor to tell him what the deal was and that I’d probably be suing Bro.

Disgraceful, all of this. This is a nightmare that isn’t ending.

And oh yeah…I followed up on 2 jobs this morning. Both were advertised last week:  One is already filled and the other one…well, they’re still looking at resumes and they will call whoever they are interested again.

Big fat strike out. So what the hell else is new here???

“How do you expect to pay that loan back???” Uh, I’d get a tenant upstairs and I’d charge rent and that would be my money for my monthly payment. RIGHT??? BOYOBOY is he dumb.

I called atty; he says bro can indeed block it — I am going back to him tomorrow to see what we can do. THis case will need a mediator.

7 thoughts on “Living in a nightmare”

  1. As I tried to explain to you, you would have needed a lien in place prior to his receipt of the money from the stock sale to be able to take a portion of it. I don’t think that you would have been able to get all of it. Even if you’d gone the small claims court route, it would have taken a minimum of six weeks to get to court because he would have to be served the subpoena to appear. If you could prove service of the subpoena, and he didn’t show, you would receive a default judgement for whatever you could prove that he didn’t pay. This would include interest on what he didn’t pay, at a rate set by the state. Colorado’s rate is 8% and you can sue for up to $75K. The information that I sent to you on New Jersey’s small claims court procedures should have contained the maximum amount that one can sue for in small claims court.

    Collecting on a lien is not particularly easy. You might need to foreclose on the lien for nonpayment, which is what the people who hold tax liens do. HE would have to cough up the money or lose the house.

    When one does not give a damn about the outcome, they can both accomplish quite a lot and be an amazing obstruction. You don’t have the luxury of caring what he thinks, or how it will affect him.

    The police see this sort of dispute all the time.

    1. I am going back to set the ball in motion tomorrow. I will mention what you just said.

      He hasn’t got the money yet. it is imminent but not happening yet.

      A nightmare and I am drained and tired — I have been pursuing this matter since the last week of August. I badly need to get of the grid: I need somebody on my side and somebody to talk to. I do not want to internalize this and I don’t want to possibly make myself sicker.

      I don’t have anybody now. And oh yeah, he told me he hated me. I got a real Academy Award speech.

      1. All the rewards for him are on the side of keeping you behaving as you usually do. OF COURSE he hates you. You are in the position of a mother who has caught their child doing something bad. He’s not getting his way, so he’s going to whine and tell you that YOU are wrong.

        Since your electricity is separately metered and if you’ve paid off the accounts, you COULD turn the electricity off to his part of the house and force him to reinstate the account is his own name. You’d have to be home to be sure that they turn off the correct power. Tell him that on 15 October the power is going off, and he needs to establish an account with the utility in order for his power to stay on. Petty, but it does make the point that he is responsible for his own utilities. You’d still be stuck on the water bill, but electricity is usually much more expensive than water, and every bit of his bills that you don’t have to pay is money in your pocket. If the heating oil tanks are separate, even better once his oil runs out. It seems unlikely that there would be separate heating systems for the two parts of the house. I’ve lived in houses that were cut into apartments, and usually the landlord provides the heat, though there may be a separate thermostat in each apartment.

  2. He is paying for his own electric, his own separate meter.

    He has his own oil tank. There are 2: his and mine. His account’s been dormant since 2007; that is how long it has been since the tank’s been filled at all.

    This mess with him started in 2006.

    It has been awfully quiet up there. I suspect he met the girlfriend at a site “off campus” yesterday and discussed The Dude Problem out of my earshot. (He had a day off; I suspect he met her after her school hours were dismissed and discussed The Dude Problem at length, while away from this house)

    I don’t care if they went to the Attorney General and discussed it. What’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong — and after hearing out Bro, she still wants to stay here and keep staying here???? She’s somebody else with a screw loose! You can bet she isn’t saying, “You have to do what you have to do: make good on what you owe!”

    Our own mother was never this tough with him. She coddled him. And having no father here put another nail in the coffin for him. This is why a kid needs a permanent father: I am pretty sure that if there was a father here as we were growing up, none of what is happening now never would have happened.

  3. Just got back a bit ago.

    Here are the choices that bro gets: a partition action, we sell or I buy him out or he buys me out.

    If he will not say okay to me getting a loan for a buyout, he could be forced to sell to me by signing it over or a third party — usually an attorney will be the third party — he or she will sign for the buyout of Bro.

    The drawback: the case could take months.

    I am guessing by the 23rd he might be served; will probably be by sheriff.

    Bro has 35 days to sign and reply. If not, the case is expedited more quickly.

    The fact that he has not given me a key to either door will be in my favor. There is the ouster clause.

    He advised me not to talk to him anymore.

    I guess I am now more or less “stuck” with pulling his gf and the daughter. I am not going to ask him for tax money for November 1;. I don’t see the sense in asking. He will say no and it will turn into an argument anyway.

  4. It is still in your interest to prepare to take him to court over the money that he owes you and to pursue a lien on the house for the amount of the indebtedness.

    For the tax money, send him a certified letter, return receipt requested, to be signed by only him. Enclose a copy of the tax bill, requesting his half of the taxes, to be paid to you by money order or cashier’s check. One of two things will happen: he will receive the letter, signing the card, or he will refuse to accept the letter, and a notation that he refused to accept the letter will be made on the card. which will be sent to you. It would not be a bad thing to have a post office box to protect your mail from having him take it or mess with it in some way. He will then be unable to argue at a later date that he did not receive notice. Add the cost of the certified letter to the pile of debts.

    In lawsuits, documentation is everything.

    1. Both these issues is what he is being sued for: the amount he owes plus his half of the house. He will be served by sheriff, most likely.

      And even if it goes certified mail, he will simply not go to the PO to retrieve it — he is doing that with notice from creditors — and that would mean he would default (he gets 35 days to reply) and the case would expedite faster for me.

      Which also means he wouldn’t know about a court date, either — that would go untouched at the postie — and he’d get a benchmark out for his arrest, since he would automatically not be in court since he knows nothing of the date.

      The tab he is still ringing up is still rolling. November 1 is coming and now I also have 2 more people living here on MY property tax dime.

      And the tab will be rolling up until the case is settled and done. Until further notice.

      Lucky ME.

      I will not speak to him anymore. I am not asking him where’s November’s amount. It will probably escalate into a fight anyway.

      What else I also do not like: I get the ugly feeling that she will be running the show for him once he is served and finds out I am not kidding around and that this entire thing is real. She will chime in anyway and put in her two pence and that, to me, is interfering with justice. And it borders on contempt of court, if you ask me.

      What a mess.

      What a colossal mess, every last inch of it.

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