The failed economy continues: in hock for alimony…

and lots ot it, in this gent’s case.

To recap: he had a job at a brokerage house and once made over a million a year but then he lost his job and exhausted his savings paying what is a small fortune in alimony. 100K a year, to be exact.

I don’t boo hoo this guy. A million in salary these days is nothing, especially if you live in the area I live in. You need a 50K a year salary to afford even the most meager of apartments!

I have a friend who is divorced. she and the xH have 3 kids.

They were divorced about 15 years ago.

He paid child support for awhile and then he got the fantastically great idea to pay for an apartment in lieu of child support. He got the okay from the courts and then that’s what he did: paid for an apartment.

But then he lost his job and somehow for nearly a year until he found a job — and not one as good as the one he had; he is in IT — he STILL paid for that apartment. The rent isn’t cheap: it’s about $2500 a month, maybe a bit more.

The gent who is going to jail PAID what he owed, for as long as he could. To me that’s a show of character. That doesn’t count for anything if you owe child support.

That child support needs to be “revisitied”. Christ knows WHY she needs such a large sum of money. Send the kids to a public school, calculate the cost for their expenses — school, docs, dentists, clothes and lodging and food — and readjust it. 20 grand a year would be more like it, not five times as much!

5 thoughts on “The failed economy continues: in hock for alimony…”

  1. The whole alimony/child support issue is why I will NEVER marry a man paying either. What many don’t realize is many times the new spouse is often stuck paying for the exspouse. If the spouse loses a job often the new spouse has to pay, and many states (Illinois is one) takes in consideration how much the new spouse makes before determining whether to raise amounts. They want to make it easier for new spouses to pay for the old spouses, including charging new spouses child support if they split from the person with kids. I generally don’t support alimony but child support is another issues. In my mind unless the spouse was out of the workforce for years and has no skills alimony should be temporary. Even if they have been out, I see no reason why they can’t get a job. I once dated a man paying child support and alimony along with mortgage and by the time he paid for everything he barely had money to pay his bills. Not fun going very cheaply on a date (and I’m not gold digger).

    1. I give that guy credit: he at least TRIED to keep up with payments for the xYF and kids when his job ended.

      Goies to show you you are one paycheck away from bankruptcy.

      And the days of job security need to RETURN.

  2. When I was in the mode of paying alimony/child support, I was pretty much broke, even though I was never unemployed: after paying the ex, and one’s own immediate expenses (rent, utilities, food), there was enough left to maybe go to a movie once a month by myself. (At least there were movies that were actually interesting back then.) To NWP’s point, I figured that I was pretty much useless to another woman in that state. Ultimately, my ex ended up pursuing other interests, and I got back custody of my son.

    But the courts are most unforgiving when it comes to child support, and they seem to believe that throwing the guy in jail will magically make him pay up. Perhaps that’s true if he’s a real deadbeat, but there are fewer of them than people like to believe.

  3. THe courts think it will be sunny and fair weather permanently for the spouse that pays alimony.

    What if you get sick or lose your job or something unforeseen happens where you wind up losing a chunk of money of your own and you no longer can pay alimony?

    CS is one thing — let the courts NOT rob the former spouse — but anybody collecting alimony when they can work? QUITE ANOTHER STORY.

  4. Alimony is a big scam. I truly understand in situations like the one spouse helped support the other while they went to college to become a doctor then when they became a doctor they dumped the previous spouse. After all the spouse who got dumped helped that person get more money. I also understand in cases like one spouse stayed at home to raise kids (I don’t get staying at home unless there are kids)and then the other spouse dumped them. In this case, I support giving them temporary support while they get on their feet and learn a new skill. However, many situations are not either one, I’ve known people who received lifetime alimony though they were never stay at home spouses or they were but it was because they were too lazy to work. These people shouldn’t be getting alimony.

    The child support aspect can be unfair too. Kids should be supported but when child support is being used to fund activities for the custodial parent then there is a problem.

    When I did online dating I was always approached by these men even though my profile clearly stated no dads. I went through a lot when I dated men paying alimony and child support (along with the other issues)there is no way I would consider these men. Not that I have money now but once I get working again no way am I going to pay for someone else’s family. These idiots even had the audacity to say a fancy dinner was Applebee’s. I don’t mind going there but if an ideal date is going to a fast food not interested. I’m also not going to be denied something because they have to support the ex. Instead I would rather date men not paying alimony or child support.

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