So what do you do….

When nothing has panned out.

And positively nothing at all, in the way of a job, and you are pretty much in a desparate and dire financial situation.

I have no relatives, or spouse, to support me. It’s just me myself and I.

And I have another situation that is compounding my problems — I won’t go into it here or now.

What should I do?

I don’t think I could try as far as a business goes. I had my ass handed to me the last time I tried it — I do not have the money for an office or a studio. I cannot and will not bring a client into this house. One never knows.

Even so, what I do in the way of artwork is time consuming. The least intricate item would have to sell for at least $400 and in this day and age of a dead economy, who’s got money for that?

I was thinking of calling old employers again — and asking if they need help.  Here is the thing: when I left there, the place was financially barely alive.

At the time, the company was not doing well; I knew this when I took the job and the day after I got laid off from there, the rest of the staff — about 60 people — were all cut to a half time basis….zoom ahead to now; nearly the entire staff is gone. The company is now operating with about 5 people in the office and maybe 10 in the plant.

They are limping along even still.

I called there quite awhile back and there was nothing then. Maybe in a pinch, I could do freelance work for them but that sucks, too.

I tried another past employer, quite awhile ago. No dice.

And the rest, the ones that are still in business, don’t care if I am living or dead. So they’re out.

I have tried service jobs: a damn local bakery put up a fuss — told me “We are training somebody right now and if they don’t work out we will call you” — their HELP WANTED ad has continually appeared in that damn window of their shop.

And you know what happened to the bar.

Bars and restarants in this area don’t do well. One restaurant was already sold, 6 months after opening, and another bar, up the block, is for sale. And the bar that I mentioned? I get the idea that’s going to be a novelty and when the novelty wears off, the crowd will vanish. And it’s likely the owners will, too.

Another bar that seemed to be doing well, shut down out of nowhere, well over a year ago. The building is still empty.

I am pretty desparate at this point. I don’t have any ideas and I don’t know what to do. It’s a dire situation and if in the past, somebody told me I’d be in this kind of a boat, I’d have laughed right in their face. 

My health isn’t good. I have a few good issues and I am sure all of them are due to stress. I still blame my ex company for the first of the issues that wow, amazingly showed up 3 months after I got laid off.  A good chunk of my money — $350 a month for health insurance and about $150 for meds monthly– is going towards health care for me.

I consider myself to be a spiritual person. “Religious” yeah — but as a ‘solitary.” I still have not found a suitable religious denomination — I’ve prayed over this for weeks and still nothing. I don’t know why it’s like this.

At no time during an interview — with the exception of one guy, right after I got laid off from my job — did I ever get the idea that I was one of the strong candidates or that I was being considered for the job. I’ve gotten the idea that this is all some kind of charade; am I filler? am I a “let’s call in a few more people even though we decided X is our choice”? Or what is it?

Do every single one of these damn interviewers NOT have a clue? What is it???

I don’t blame this on age, or education, or too much education, or not enough of it, or “nobody’s hiring” — nope; none of it applies. And I do not blame this on the economy. Not at all by a long shot.

And it sure isn’t “me.” There was always somebody to hire me — I don’t know what happened here. I’m stumped and stunned as far as trying to find a reason goes.

What do I do? 

I have also tried dropping into unemployment.  Useless. All they hend you is Kool Aid — this is what the unemployment public servants  are taught to do when they have their training and go to Trenton for whatever job training it is: tell the client “it’s like this with everyone” and have you tried this that and the other thing.

The last call I got for an interview was well over a month ago.  Nothing since then and the ads are pretty dry.

What do I do?