Superficiality aka sometimes we need to grow up

While writing the last post I briefly touched on this guy I am strangely attracted to. He’s not someone I would have dated years ago but he is striking interest in me. I realize now that sometimes being judgemental of one’s appearance says a lot about us.

Years ago I was heavily involved in the fan circuit of a well known band. Yes, they are a New Wave band, one of the biggest in fact. So big that they were compared to the Beatles and a well known media figure from the 80s (and the 90s)proclaimed them her favorite band. This band managed to survive the 80s when so many other bands didn’t and had a huge comeback in the early 90s courtesy of alternative rock radio. Talking about their career highs and lows could be (and has been)the subject of countless documentaries but that isn’t the point here.

Anyway, in being in this fan clique so to speak I got to meet some people who became friends. Some are still fairly close but others I’ve drifted away from. In the process of meeting people I was able to meet members of this group. One member was a jerk but the others were really cool. However, the closer I got to people I started to see a disturbing trend: the cutest fans get closer to the group. In fact the lead singer is downright rude to people he considers “ugly”. He wasn’t rude really to me but wasn’t nice either. To other friends he has been mean calling them ugly and fat. Later on I had heard stories of other band members making fun of their “fat and ugly” fans. Yes really class there and to be honest it turned me off. I haven’t seen them in a few years but would they be mean to me because I’ve gained weight? How about as I age?

The fact is I too used to be as mean as that. I used to make fun of people. I used to turn down men who weren’t handsome and wealthy. I just thought I was the hottest thing ever. Then several years ago I fell and injured myself and no longer to workout as heavily as I did. I don’t have the stamina I once did either. I also realize I can’t rely on my looks. I am glad I found this out before it was too late. Looks are fleeting, personality lasts forever.

Btw, I still like this group and their music. It was a welcome sort of music at a time when top 40 was dominated by adult contemporary, R&B, crossover country and just plain pop music. It opened the doors to more music like it and bands like them. Their latest CD is really good and there had been speculation it might get a Grammy nod for best alternative album but no awards.

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