As I get older I realize one strange oddity and that is how my much younger self would hate my older self. Things that seemed so dead set are on opposite ends now.
I look back to my early 20’s and how I would protest (yes protest)things I thought were wrong. I started an anti censorship group when I was 20 and fought for many things besides censorship like abortion, religious groups, welfare, affirmative action, and so many more. I was very far left, definitely close to communism and yes I called myself a socialist. I worked with the Democratic Party hoping they would become as far left as me. After all the Republicans were the enemy and they hated far lefties like me.
What happened? I slowly did a turn more right. I started to see things that bothered me. I lost a job due to affirmative action and realized that while people are discriminated against, that sometimes with affirmative action other people are discriminated as well. I started seeing people I know abuse the welfare system and my old belief that it’s fine to have kids out of wedlock and on welfare disappeared. I saw people abuse the abortion choice and while I support it I realize the pro life movement isn’t completely wrong either and that for me personally I would not do it. Not to mention taxes. In my early 20’s I was in college and didn’t pay a lot in taxes or it didn’t appear I did. However once I started going into the real world I saw I often paid taxes the more I worked.
While all of this started me turning right, the event that really switched my views on a lot was my long term unemployment. When I started unemployment I was so sure I would be employed eventually. 4 years and counting I am still unemployed and while I still apply for jobs and still get the random interview I know I am pretty much useless to a lot of employers. Anyway you would think this would turn me left but instead it opened my eyes and I saw that neither main party cared about us and in fact were in cahoots to kill the middle class. While I voted for Obama I woke up to the fact that he lied about his intentions. At least as awful that Bush was we knew he would be for the rich. Obama claimed to be for us and has proven he is not.
Finally another interesting twist to all of this and that is I went back to church. Yes remember in my early 20’s I hated religion? now I wish some religious aspects could come into play in politics. Now I am not saying I want a religious society but many aspects are ones that would help us, such as cut down on teen pregnancies, executions, and more family time and less work time. I came to a powerful realization a few years ago and that is I regret spending all this time being work obsessed when I could have had a family. Now at 41 I find myself unemployed with no end in sight and single and childless. The idea of me being a crazy cat lady living in my parents house when I get old scares me. What if it’s too late for me to have kids or find a husband? Scary and I blame the radical feminists for brainwashing me that to have a great career I needed to repress other needs. However I am not giving up on having a career again along with a husband and a family.