No longer sure if they are interested in me at all

Call me nuts or paranoid but I am pretty certain the last 4 interviews were ruses.

All 4 of them involved an overly friendly approach. Too friendly, in fact.

Something like this automatically gives me the willies. Kindly keep the approach to a businesslike format.

I read somewhere that the majority of interviewa are anything but; they could be part of a focus room, curiosity or maybe they only wanted to meet “you.” And who knows what reason they had for meeting “you.” Perhaps there is no job at all and they spoke to you for only a reason they themselves know of.

The approach was identical in all 4 cases. Why are they so cutesy and so friendly with me? They don’t know me from Adam.

The next time I see this kind of thing, I am going to cut the entire fiasco short. Give them 10 minutes, ask perhaps one question and then tell them the job is not my cup of tea and then scram. Why should I be party to any of this?

“We loved your resume”? Then what is the problem? Love my resume, love me. Right? This is why I am saying it is a ruse.

Trust your gut in all cases; it never fails and if it walks like a duck, you Harder World’ers know the rest. end the shenannegans there and then; don’t be a patsy, a pushover or a pussycat: take a stance for yourself and show some pride: get out of there asap.

17 thoughts on “No longer sure if they are interested in me at all”

  1. I can relate. I recently went on an interview for a job that couldn’t be more perfect. It was for a PR job where most of the work will involve working at home and one day at the office, which is 20 minutes way. They asked relevant questions and looked at my portfolio (which they asked to see, most of the time I practically beg to show them). However three weeks later and no response whatsoever. I sent a thank you the other week so maybe they will respond.

  2. ANd what fries my arse all the more:

    This bunch demanded references before the interview began. (“2 must be employers” and we wrote it in RED!)

    Suppose I was dumb enough to part with the information? My confidential info is now obtained fraudulently, imo!

    How dare you lie to somebody and how dare you lie to me to get me to give you references.

    YOU are in control.

    “Available upon request” is what you write and you tell them “I do not have that information available right now. I will see who is the best fit as per this interview and when you are ready, I will give you very excellent references.” And that is exactly what I said.

    Lying to us to get us in there for wow, who knows what reason — but the second they think we are lying, that’s the end of us!

    Friendly people?

    No, this is garbage.

    And so friendly that you cannot even get a “thanks but no” via email. I have said it before and I will say it again: they do as they wish and treat you however they want because they know you will not be back. It is open season on you.

  3. As a business owner, I have to disagree with some of your thoughts about references. I would expect candidates to have references in hand at an interview or when completing an application. As far as not trusting the potential employer with references: if you are hired, you will necessarily have to trust that the employer will pay you correctly and on time, will adequately inform you about any dangers of your workplace, and a thousand other things. And what do you imagine the employer will do with the references? (If you really think it might be something other than ‘call or write them to ask about the candidate,’ then you don’t want to work there anyway.)

    The flip side is that the employer has to answer any reasonable questions about the job, which would, among other things, enable the candidate to identify the most appropriate references at that point. If a candidate told me that he wanted to see how the interview went before supplying references, I’d think it was BS and tell him to get lost.

    An employer should also advise candidates that they are no longer being considered. Many don’t (it has happened to me on occasion), but it’s common courtesy, which, like common sense, has become increasingly rare.

    My sense is that the whole interview/hiring process has become dysfunctional, but that’s a subject for another day.

  4. I am no longer insulted, but mad as hell.

    I am now wondering how many of these interviews were bona fide interviews. For all I know, a great many could have been the same kind of game these last 3 played with me.

    In this entire time of employment — and that is well over 30 years — only one potential employer called references. I gave him 3 but he stopped at one; I got the job.

    Every book I’ve read, and every job counselor I’ve had, has told me supply nothing until the interview is said and done — maybe the rules have changed. I don’t know. Maybe now anything goes; that very well can be possible.

    I will keep on plugging. It is all I can do.

  5. I find it difficult to believe that a going concern would waste a lot of time on just “viewing” people when no job exists or in collecting personal information to exploit for identity theft or some other illegal purpose. You don’t know what is going on with those companies. They could have lost a contract or customer, and decided not to hire as a result. If they are just having a fashion show, then they are probably on the way out of business.

    I am also used to having to provide a lot of information. Because I’m already a federal employee, certain information is easier to find about me than average. I’ve been fingerprinted more often than most criminals, and have had to provide every address where I have lived for 15 years or more. The usual process is to have to provide transcripts with the application, and then they run a national agency check on me. I might have to bring my birth certificate to my first day on the job, or fax a copy to personnel.

    That said, the hiring freeze that has been in effect since last March or so has made it hard for us to hire people. First we were limited to commuting area only, then we got an exemption from the hiring freeze at the Assistant Secretary of Defense level. This allowed us to hire TWO people.

  6. In fairness, I may be out of date. Perhaps the rules have changed, but I always understood that in job interviews, as elsewhere in life, being unprepared is really uncool, and can be fatal if one is competing for something. I haven’t looked for a job as an employee in years, but when I did, the application came before the interview, and the application asked for references.

    The icky part about references is that too often they aren’t really illuminating. If you worked at a really large firm, company policy may require reference requests to be forwarded to HR, which will only report ‘name, rank, and serial number’ in the interest of not getting sued.

  7. Yes, but you do know that these people are experts in contacting people off the record.

    I have seen it myself and it’s not a great thing to do — it also shows you how honest the perspective employer is.

    Our company was trying to hire somebody to fill an assistant’s position; we were a medical concern.

    John had the face to face and my boss was interested in hiring him; John gave 3 references. They all worked with him.

    The first 2 had nothing but wonderful things to say about him. I could not reach John’s third reference.

    I said to my boss, “I wasn’t able to get ahold of Mr. Smith.” She said to me, “Call John’s department and ask for Dr. Jones.”

    Dr. Jones was the head of the department — and also somebody John did NOT give as a reference.

    Dr. Jones was also somebody my boss had frequent dealings with via our company.

    What a rotten thing to do. If word got back to John that Mr. Jones was contacted off the record, I am pretty certain ,my boss and Dr. Jones could have gotten into a great deal of trouble.

    “John will only do what you tell him to do,” said Dr. Jones…and that was the end of John’s employment prospect with our department.

    A friend of mine got the same thing: he interviewed for a job and the owners went and contacted one of his department’s managers — my friend did NOT give Kenny J. as a reference.

    Kenny called my friend and told him that the owners spoke to him.

    Suppose Kenny had a falling out with my friend and said nasty things about him? Or these people called the company, asked for Kenny — and some other guy (NOT Kenny) got the line…and said he was Kenny, and preceded to say lousy things about my friend?

    I guess now I will have to give the names of references, whether I like it or not. Maybe I am indeed in the wrong and this is another one of these rules that changed or something. I don’t know.

    1. Where I work, the investigators are interested in the “developed reference”, which is what people who know the reference will say about me, not the direct reference, and it’s been that way for well over 20 years.

  8. I don’t mind giving references at all, because I know they will say good things. My issue is what Dude brought up and that is calling the company. My last employer was a very dirty corrupt government run railroad. The head of HR there was a racist witch who hated me and I hate her so much if she died tomorrow I would cheer. Yes she is that evil and I would compare her to the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz, except the witch had more redeeming qualities. With my hatred with this HR psycho you can see why I would never want anyone to call the HR where I worked, yet a few potential employers did call there. Why? I am not sure but needless to say In didn’t get the job. I did give former coworkers as references, even a department head I did some work for but not good enough.

  9. Sorry, Dude: the employers that you cite are completely within their rights to contact people they know who might have input about a candidate. While an employer will generally respect a candidate’s need for confidentiality and not contact a candidate’s current supervisor, it’s fair for an employer to say, for example, ‘He used to work for Mr. X, who’s a golf buddy, but didn’t list him as a reference. Why?’ and proceed to ask Mr. X about the candidate.

    Similarly, whatever a candidate posts on the Internet for public consumption is fair game. That’s why I don’t Face and I don’t Twit. (What I write here is fair game too, but I recognize that I’m writing for publication and conduct myself accordingly.)

    NWP: It’s common enough in large organizations for requests for references to be forwarded, by policy, to HR. It’s also reasonable enough for a prospective employer to see the name of the organization on your resume and contact the HR department to verify your employment there, even if you don’t cite them as a reference.

    But the HR departments of large organizations normally respond to requests for references with ‘name, rank, and serial number:’ they confirm the candidate’s employment, but supply no further information, in the interest of not getting sued. Alas, what I’ve read about your organization, I can readily imagine the ‘HR witch’ going off the script.

    1. That’s what scares me. I don’t trust the HR there and even though the one HR woman who used to give verification was nice and only stated the facts, I worry the head HR has caused trouble. I have heard of other former coworkers having trouble finding a job after getting fired or even quitting from there. I think I mentioned this but I lost my job after losing a fact finding review that was obviously stacked against me. The people who would make the decision were the head HR psycho’s assistant and my boss’ boss who disliked me because I questioned why I was paid less than my male coworker. In the fact finding review psycho HR made up stories, such as I hit her (apparently on a day I wasn’t even there)and that me and a coworker hated each other and fought (a lie, we got along great and he told me to watch my back with HR). They even claimed I wore inappropriate clothes, like high heels and a miniskirt (yes, I would wear skimpy clothes in downtown Chicago in December, especially since I walked a mile to the office).

      1. You left the railroad some years ago. Others have come and gone in the interim. I’ve known people who could maintain vendettas for years, but you might not be that important.

  10. They claimed you dressed inappropriately?

    Then this is just plain dumb on their part! If I was the prospective employer I’d wonder “if the employee went against the dresscode then why did they let her get away with wearing what she wore?”

    Your former company’s credibility — and that manager’s credibility — would be gone in about half a second flat, after that revelation.

    If all else fails:

    Have a friend call and do a background check on you. See what she comes up with from the WW of the W.

    1. The thing is I never dressed inappropriately, it was another thing the psycho HR nut said about me. I actually think she was jealous because she was a fat old pig.

  11. If I was a prospective employer and I heard them say that, I’d wonder just what kind of petty nonsense that company is indulging in and wonder just what kind of silly little people are conducting operations over there.

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